quick updates

Some status updates:

• The Salsa is at the shop. I'm supposed to call about it Thursday. Please, please, PLEASE let it be ready Thursday. Though I won't know for sure until I take the maiden voyage, I think I will christen her Rosie. As in "the Riveter". Or Rrrrosita! (Read with as obnoxious a rolling "r" as possible.)

  UPDATE: Rrrrrosie is rrrready. I picked her up this afternoon, and am looking forward to getting everything adjusted to where I want it. Of course, the ride tonight looks like it's going to be rained out now, so I won't be able to see how she rides until at least tomorrow. It figures. :)

• The SystemSix is about halfway paid. I'll be able to get it out of bike limbo sometime in August, I think. I also think that her name will be Nikita. Little goddess of speed and victory, baby. :) Provided that her engine improves, that is.

• And speaking of her engine, I've been using the GPS with the EBB, and the numbers from the last couple rides have been encouraging. Monday was an easy tempo ride, and tonight was technically a hammerfest...but I was a bit sick still from a wicked hangover (for future reference, my happy hour wine limit is 2 glasses, not 4...unless of course I want to spend the next 3 hours feeling like I just stepped off the Tilt-o-Whirl). So I went my own pace, just concentrating on cadence and letting the group pass me on by. 'Sides, I couldn't keep up with them on EBBie without maybe injuring myself anyway. Still, my speed average for the easy Friday was 15.5 mph, and it was 17.3 tonight. The distribution shows that tonight was spent mostly in the 18-20 mph range, with a high of 28. I imagine that was when I was still trying to keep up with the group, for the 100 yards or so until they put the hammer down. Still, I'm hitting these numbers on the EBB, which I don't generally try very hard on. (Because it pains me. As I believe I've whined about in some detail, so no need to go into that again.) Point is, I was pleasantly surprised, since I feel so slow and cumbersome on that thing. Get me on a bike that fits, and I think I can push those numbers up by at least 1-2 mph across the board almost immediately. We'll see.

• Regarding weight loss, I'm staying constant. It's been so hot, and I haven't been hydrating well. If I can get a couple good days with the water intake, I think I might be able to drop a pound on Friday. I'd really love to make it out of the 180s by the end of the month. That would be sweet.

back

well, I'm back in town. The funeral was nice, the weather was perfect. Other than the hearse missing the turn and getting lost on the way to the cemetery (!), everything was perfect. Even that was just a good laugh...no one was really in any hurry. We honored her the best we could.

I also gained almost 2 lbs. Sigh. Here we go again. :)

1922 - 2008

she's gone. Passed away in her sleep yesterday morning, which was the best we could hope for. (God, I'm sorry about that "kicking you in the teeth" part. Maybe you're an okay guy after all.) I'm going up this weekend for the funeral, and will be back next Wednesday.

Go With God (right-click, save-as)

I'm alive!!

sorry for the delayed update...I actually got back to Texas two weeks ago Friday, in time to do the MS150. Which was miserable, since I came back from Wisconsin with a cold to end all colds, and the wind on the first day was horrendous. Nothing like a 20 mph gusty headwind sucking your will to live for 100 miles to really make an event memorable. Then my riding buddy quit at lunch the first day, and I tried to ride out the 2nd day with a group that was too fast, and my gears were slipping when I got out of the saddle to climb...it was awful, and I bagged it at lunch the 2nd day myself. Worst. MS150. Ever. (I actually had written part of a longer ride report last week, but screw it. It sucked. I hated it. The End.)

As for my grandma, I'm glad we went up to visit. She was in and out of consciousness, and very weak, but she was still in her right mind most of the time. We were able to talk to her, and she knew we were there to see her. I hate to say that we were there to say our goodbyes, but that's probably the case. It looks like she's not going to recover enough to leave the nursing home, and they're expecting either the cancer will take her or pneumonia will. The estimate when I left was about a month, either way. At this point, they're hoping it will be the pneumonia, since it's a kinder way to go. I'm going to stop there, because that whole situation just makes me want to kick God in the teeth. I mean, she's in her mid-80s and she's led a mostly good life, but if anyone deserves to go quietly in her sleep in her own bed, it's my grandma. The thought of her dying in pain, helpless, in a nursing home? I know it's never about deserve, but that sucks.

So anyway, haven't really done much of anything of note since I got back, except gain 4 lbs and lose 2, ride my bike some, go to work, and try to find new and creative methods to make my nose stop running. (I think I've finally gotten over the cold, though my nose still runs when I try to drink on the bike, which is driving me CRAZY.)

family emergency

March 10: "Next up, the Space Race century in April. I will make the 100-mile cutoff this year. :)"

March 17: "Next up is Space Race on April 6th. 100 miles, baby."

April 2: "Now, really, sincerely...next up--Space Race!"

Now, here we are on April 3rd, and guess what?

I'm not doing Space Race.

Oh, obviously I wanted to...but I'm going to be driving to Wisconsin instead. I won't get into the details, but my grandma had complications after what she thought was going to be a routine surgery last week, and has been in and out of the hospital since. Now they're saying she may not make it very much longer, and are advising family that want to see her to make the trip now. I thought about putting it off until Monday, but then we would be running into the MS150 at the end of the trip. Besides, this lady has been at every major and minor milestone of my entire life, and has been the beloved center of our family for 3 generations...I don't want to look back and have to say that I missed out on spending time with her in her last days because I wanted to do a 100-mile bike ride.

We're hitting the road early tomorrow morning, so I don't know when I'll be back here again. Internet access on the trip and in my hometown is a bit iffy, since small towns in WI aren't exactly on the bleeding edge of technology. Most likely, it will be sometime late next week. In the meantime, if you're so inclined, please keep my grandma in your thoughts and prayers. She's a great, sweet soul, and this world will be a lesser place without her.

Song: This Woman's Work (right-click, save as)

a post that's not about bikes--shocker!

UPDATE: Library is transferred. The advice of the lovely commenters was dead on...the solution was to buy a big ol' USB drive and give up on the XP-Mac network. After all that frustration, I think it took longer to buy the drive than it did to transfer the files. All hail sneakernet!

Confidential to my husband's officemate who shall remain nameless (let's call him Bob): This is no reflection on my troubleshooting skills, dude. I just don't have enough patience or ego to make it worth my while to work on it any longer. :)

----------------------------------
ok, so we needed a new computer at home. And I kind of hate what I've seen of Vista, so I decided that now would be as good a time as any to switch to a Mac. I mean, I love my ipod, and all those clever commercials can't be wrong, right? Besides, the new iMacs are pretty.

So, bonus day rolls along, and I run out and buy a brand new iMac. So far so good--it's fast, it is indeed pretty, it fits perfectly in the little space in the hutch of the desk, and I'm mostly adjusting to the interface changes...

But.

I CANNOT GET IT TO SEE MY WINDOWS SHARES SO I CAN TRANSFER MY FARGIN' ITUNES LIBRARY.

Oh, it sees them, I guess, in that they show up in Finder, but I can't actually open/mount them. I've changed workgroup settings, I've set sharing wide open on both sides, I've sprinkled pixie dust* all over the place--nothing. I'm pretty sure this is a Windows issue, since there was a brief shining moment when I could access the Mac shares from the Windows machine. If I had been smart, I would have transferred everything then, but I couldn't figure out where anything was supposed to go on the Mac HD. I dropped one folder into the Mac and then tried to add it to itunes, but never could find it on the Mac's file structure. And now I can't connect to the Mac's shares from the Windows machine anymore either, so it doesn't matter.

I have tried everything google has come up with, I have consulted our resident experts, and it appears that XP Home is part of what's messing with me since it only allows guest access to shares (which...what?!) and it doesn't allow me to edit the local security policy. I have been working on this for over a week and I just want to kill something. It's been a long time since I've felt this clueless sitting in front of a computer. Aren't Macs supposed to be easy?

Grr.

*where " sprinkled pixie dust" = "cursed like a sailor and threw things"

*whistles* ...I'm sorry, what?

well, it has been a while, hasn't it? I'm kind of going through one of those times where I have nothing interesting to say, and writing about anything is a struggle. For those of you waiting with bated breath for the Urban Dare report, it's about 1/3 done. So, at that pace, I should be able to post a recap of the race by the end of the year. Sigh.

I know.

So what have I been doing when I'm NOT writing here? Working, keeping my house sort of clean, experimenting with various crockpot recipes (roasts, mostly...beef has been good, pork has been bad), trying to negotiate the details of my impending move and how I'm going to pay for it, trying to decide (yet again) whether I'll ride in the MS150 since the company team still has openings, riding my bike, slowly getting back to the gym more than once a week. And getting both inspired and appalled by The Biggest Loser every week.

I'm really conflicted on this show...I just started watching it this season, and there are a lot of things I hate about it--the unrealistically fast weight loss, which makes them disappointed when they "only" lose 2 lbs, the fact that they make 300-lb people run, the unnecessary drama, the gross food challenges like that donut one this week*, the incessant product-whoring, and even some of the people (Amy, Neil, Kim--I'm looking at you).

But then there's the parts I love--Kae, with her iron will and strong opinions and Julie with her down-home personality (though I suspect that both would get tiresome in person), the little triathlon this week (even if it was in the wrong order), and most of all, the "after leaving the show" reveals.

Looking at those lists, it's pretty obvious that the bad outweighs the good for me. So why do I keep watching it? Because realistic or not, it's inspiring. Every time I watch a show, I want to run out to the gym right afterward. Even though I know I'll never have the same results they do because I just don't have the time, it makes me believe that I am capable of getting my results eventually. And hey, anything that motivates my ass to the gym has gotta be a good thing, right?

I mean, if that whiny, conniving drama queen Amy can lose 100 lbs, I can totally lose my 60. Though I suspect it's going to take me a bit longer...like, years longer. Hell, it already has. :) So the bottom-line reason I keep watching this stupid, kind of insulting show is that it makes me believe that I can do this, and that it's worth doing.

*right after "green week", too, when they waggled their fingers at all the waste produced by junk food. Then they make a challenge out of smashing about 100 lbs of donuts to find a $5000 chip...how did those donuts get there? Boxes? Trucks? Not to mention the food waste...not that donuts are at all nutritional or something that you would feed to starving people instead of grinding them into the carpet...but still. For all the bitching they do about how much food Americans over-consume, it seemed supremely wasteful and kind of mean-spirited. But hey, fat people + a huge stack of donuts = comedy gold, right? Ugh.

JoScalIgMo

I've decided that in honor of NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo*, et. al, I am going to be participating in a monthly challenge of my own: JoScalIgMo. Joy's Scale-Ignoring Month. I will not be weighing in during the month of November. At all. My scale went up on the closet shelf this morning, and there it shall stay until December 1st.

I'm doing this for a couple reasons. One, the scale is seriously bumming me out. I get on every day, and no matter what kind of day I've had, it always tells me a number between 197 and 201. I am very, very tired of seeing these numbers. Will they still exist if I don't see them? Sure. But it will stress me out less. The other reason I'm doing this is to see what my weight does when I'm not watching it. I'm still trying to eat healthy, eat at home more, work out every day...just not trying to use the scale for validation of my efforts (or lack thereof). I'm hoping that the "watched pot" principle will apply here--the scale numbers will only go down if I stop looking at them. Superstition as a weight loss plan? Hell, I've tried everything else. :)

In response to a couple comments on my last post...yes, "merging the two households" means what you think it means. :) The year apart was good for me, not least because I discovered that some of the problems that I thought came with the marriage were actually caused by me, not us. There are still problems, don't get me wrong. I'm a little worried that we weren't separated enough during the past year...in the 10 years we've been on and off, there's never really been a period where we didn't see/talk to each other at all for more than a week or two, and this was no exception. There are things we're going to have to work out (preferably before my lease ends in December). But all things considered, I've decided that maybe the marriage is worth another shot.

Song: Be and Be Not Afraid (right-click, save-as)

*I thought about trying NaBloPoMo, but then I missed the first day. I suppose I could still do the rest of the month, unofficially.

international house of clutter

I'm moving out of my house in December. I gave my landlords' required 60-day notice, and now we enter the 2 months of keeping the house clean enough to show at all times. Ugh.

See, I'm not much of a housekeeper. I subscribe to more of a clutter collecting, critical-mass approach to home maintenance. Like, the cat hair on the living room carpet doesn't exist unless you can discern its color from the front door. Or if a bedroom door is closed when you arrive at my house, it's probably best that you don't open it unless you want to be crushed by the enormous tottering pile of chaos on the other side. That sort of thing.

Now, though, I have to do something about the non-public areas of my house, because I'm pretty sure anyone who is thinking about living there might want to see ALL the rooms, not just the ones that I have deemed fit for public consumption (generally speaking: kitchen, living room, one bathroom...and heaven forbid anyone arrives earlier than expected) And I have to clean them for real, too, because they're probably going to want to see the closets.

But you know...this will be good for me. If it takes 3 weeks to form a habit, surely I'll have this daily housekeeping nonsense down by December. And then I'll just be that much better off when we merge the two households again. Either that, or we'll know for sure that we need to budget for a real housekeeper.

missed opportunity

I think I almost hit a cyclist with my car today...I didn't see him until he yelled at me.

I only feel the teeniest bit guilty, though, because he was yelling his obscenities at me as he was riding at least 10 mph against traffic on a divided 4-lane road, on the fucking sidewalk*. I wasn't looking for him because he shouldn't have been there. Jerk.

If I had been less startled and more quick-witted, I could have been one of the few drivers who has ever shouted at a cyclist to get ON the road. :)

*before anyone asks what I was doing on the sidewalk--I was turning right out of a driveway, and was just inching a bit into the crosswalk as he yelled. I had already checked for pedestrians, so there was no reason to look for anyone coming from that direction on my side of the street.

I'm back!

got back from vacation last night, was happy to be home. The road trip was fun, would have been more so if I hadn't suggested to the boy that he bring a friend. The friend wasn't a bad kid, really...just different than Noah, and it wore on me after 4 days. Other people's kids are always more obnoxious than your own, right? :)

If I had it to do over again, I would have stayed in New Braunfels the entire time. The hotel in San Antonio smelled like mold, the wifi only worked in the lobby (which was in a separate building) and the door had a huge open gap at the bottom, ideal for letting in the crickets. Seaworld was just okay, and Six Flags was a 100-degree nightmare. Noah's friend didn't like roller coasters, and after half an hour he decided that he didn't like any rides, really. He spent the next hour trying to convince Noah that they wanted to go to the waterpark side of the park, until we finally did. Other than wishing I had brought a book, it turned out a good thing. I didn't realize how close I was to completely frying my brain until it had a chance to cool off a little bit. :) We left at 4:00, all of us mildly sunburned and crabby, and me with a monster headache. I don't know how people stay all day at that place. Maybe they just have the good sense to go in April instead of August.

Seaworld was better, after I got a little salty with the friend in the beginning about his scornful dismissal of attractions that he didn't want to see (which was pretty much everything but the sharks and the waterpark). To his credit, he was much more good-natured for the rest of the visit, but he and Noah only lasted through a couple more shows before I gave up and set them loose in the waterpark again.

Schlitterbahn was better all around. For one thing, it was an outright waterpark, so there was no need to convince the boys to do anything but that. Also, we could pack a lunch and drinks and keep them with us in the park, so I wasn't stuck finding, and spending $40 on, crappy amusement park food (though Seaworld actually wasn't too bad in that regard, either). The hotel in New Braunfels smelled much better, had an inside door, and was quite comfortable. With as much time as they spent in the water at the other places, I should have just had us all buy a season pass to Schlitterbahn and been done with it. It would have been cheaper, and more fun besides. Next year, that's totally what we're doing. (Minus the friend.)

I took the whole week off, figuring I'd need today and tomorrow to decompress after all that driving. I was right. I slept till 11:00 today, then went to see a man about a bike. That took about 10 minutes, so I've spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on my blog reading and cleaning up my DVR.

Speaking of bikes...after much agonizing, I've decided to switch shops. Long story short, I'm going with the shop that sponsors the club, so that I can do all my local shopping in one place and eliminate my divided loyalties. I still like the old shop fine, and I still recommend them to people when I can, but the club shop makes more sense for me. He's working up a quote for me on the components (his ballpark figure was within the range I was willing to pay), and the cost for the bike build is going to come out just about the same at either place. It feels kind of like a breakup with my old shop, but I take comfort in the knowledge that they probably won't even notice. :)

Now I just hope it will quit raining long enough for me to get in some miles this weekend so I can hit 5,000 miles by mid-September.

Song o' the day: Dream Vacation (right-click, save-as)

I have nothing interesting to say...

...so let me just say a bunch of really boring stuff instead.

• The boy and I are going on vacation this weekend, a 4-day tour of the TX theme parks. I woke up the other day and realized that his "How I spent my summer vacation" essay so far would be one sentence long: "I got up at noon every day, then played Runescape all afternoon with my friend on speakerphone."

  So we're setting out after the club ride on Saturday, leaving Rob and the cats to their own devices for 5 days. Hopefully, the house will still be standing when I get back.

• My dad called last night...the wedding is definitely on for September. (Have I mentioned my dad's wedding? I think it was in one of the now-hidden baby-that-wasn't posts. Well--my dad's getting married!) I was starting to get a little worried because I hadn't heard anything about it for several months, but now they're sending out invitations. Whew. I've felt bad since they postponed it a year and a half ago (at least partly because I wouldn't have been able to travel in late September if things had worked out differently), so now I'm glad they're going ahead with it this year. I always wanted a stepmom, and I think he's picked the right one. I hope all my brothers can make it...we're all scattered to the winds, and the last time everyone was together was MY wedding.

• I've added two new things to my event calendar for this year: Bike Around the Bay and Urban Dare San Antonio. I may also do Novemberfest, but there's a big tri event in town that weekend that the club will be heavily involved in, volunteer-wise. I'll be manning an aid station, and I think it's for both days. Pity...I really loved the Novemberfest ride last year.

• And speaking of events, I still haven't started running again to prepare for the duathlon. I'm hoping to start back on it when we get back from vacation. My ankle feels okay...not 100% yet, but I think part of the problem is stiffness from how careful I've been with it for the past month. If I wait till next weekend to start running, it'll have been 6 weeks since I quit running last time. That should be enough, right? If I wear a brace? And go really slow? I just don't want to totally embarrass myself in the running portions of the duathlon in October, and I'm running out of time to work up to a 4-mile run.

• In bike news, I think I'll be ready to build the Orca by mid-September...possibly early September, if the money falls right. I'm kind of having a little moral dilemma about who's going to build it, but that's a theme for another post...one that I can't seem to get straight in my head. It has to do with bike shop loyalty and etiquette, and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole ugly mess. I'm also considering the option of buying the components locally, if I can get one of my preferred shops to give me a price I can live with. I'm willing to pay a little more to buy locally, but not hundreds more. But I'm scared to approach either shop about it, even though that would probably work out the whole loyalty issue right there. God, sometimes I'm such a wuss.

• Weight-loss wise, I've been stinking up the place. It's been so hot this week that I'm having a hard time getting hydrated since the weekend, AND the heat is making me want to do nothing but sit on my couch making a dent in my netflix queue. Food has been mostly fine, but it would have to be downright saintly to see any new numbers on the scale. So I'll be happy with a maintain tomorrow.

• The heat has killed not only my ambition, but most of my flowers. Only the begonias are still thriving; all but one of the pentas are barely hanging on, and the petunias, tomatoes, and that other little pink flower (let's just call them the LPFs) have gone the way of dozens of my plants before them. Dead. The LPFs were doing so well until the second over-95 day, then they started dropping like flies. I was very sad. I finally took the flowerbox off the porch rail, after discovering that the two, sad remaining pentunia blooms were not actually alive--they just dried in place before they had a chance to wilt. Of course, some of this could have been avoided if I had thought to water them after it quit raining every day.

  Now I need to find another kind of flower to put on the porch rail. Know any flowers that can survive with minimal watering in high-90s heat? Besides cacti?
  

Song o' the day: Dead Flowers* (link removed)

*hee...I was torn between this one and "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?".

list-o-mania!

Things I have wanted to do all week but have not had time and/or energy for:

• Watch the last 2 stages of the Tour de France
• Give my bike a good cleaning
• Give my bike a good riding
• Watch Meatballs (okay, so I only recorded it yesterday...but then I watched TdF stage 8 instead)
• Cook
• Grocery shop
• Wash/dry/fold a roomful of laundry
• Read some of my booksfree backlog so I can quit paying $13 a month for the same 4 books
• See above, where "booksfree" = netflix and "books" = DVDs
• Go to the gym
• Post

Post topics that I've started to write on, but then abandoned because their timeliness has passed or they just started to bore the crap out of me:

• my new saddle
• July 17th
• reviews of the things I've tried/read/watched lately (could still be posted one review at a time, as I get to them)
• how someone who loves me went to CA and all I got was a lousy autographed book :) (Seriously...forget every bad thing I've ever said about my mother-in-law. Best souvenir gift ever.)
• my ankle
• recommitting for the eleventy-billionth time

The songs that would have gone with these posts, had I been able to write them to my satisfaction:

• Better (link removed)
• Right Where I Want You (link removed)
• This Woman's Work (link removed)
• What Sarah Said (link removed)
• This Street, That Man, This Life (link removed)
• The Way It Never Was (link removed)
• End of the Line (link removed)

What (if anything) you should do with those links:

• Right click
• Save target as...
• Get 'em while they're hot :)

Not-really-a-weigh-in, 7/6/07

I think I need to find a t-shirt that says, 200 lbs 4EVER! Because I don't think I'm ever going to lose another pound again. Because I suck. Also, I hate everybody.

Well, no...not REALLY. I've been sort of a crankypants for the past few days, and this is not helped by the fact that my truck has seemed determined to self-destruct. I mean, it runs fine and all the important stuff works, but in the space of just three weeks, someone backed into my front bumper, a rock dinged my windshield, and I lost 3 hubcaps. The windshield thing and two of the hubcap losses happened yesterday. You know, just once I'd like to be able to turn in one of my leases in pristine condition. This time I almost made it--there wasn't a scratch or blemish anywhere on it until after I ordered its replacement. And the very day I get the notice that the new car is in, all hell breaks loose. Is my truck jealous? I feel like I'm in a Herbie movie over here.

It'll all be okay--the windshield's on order, and the bumper repair will be done as soon as it stops raining for a day or so (another reason for the crankiness). As for the hubcaps...I ordered a replacement for the first one yesterday afternoon, but then after I lost two more on the way home (watching the 3rd hubcap roll off as I exited the freeway--that was an cool feeling) I decided that maybe my driving style wasn't entirely to blame here. I paid a visit to the folks who had done my tire rotation a couple weeks back, and tried to remain calm while I explained that their service, while speedy and reasonably-priced, may be causing my truck to jettison its hubcaps. The guy was very nice, and after checking the lone remaining cap, offered to replace all 3 of the missing ones for me (I *heart* dealers). Since he only had one in stock, he asked if he could hang on to my remaining cap until the other 2 came in--"At least they'll all match now!" Thank you, Mr. Brightside. :)

So yeah...not my usual sweetness and light today. But tomorrow's Saturday, and it might just stop raining long enough to get a good bike ride in. Things always seem better after a long ride.

Song o' the day: Grace Kelly* (link removed)

*The Killers' Mr. Brightside would have been more apropos for today, but I can't find the MP3. Grrr! Eh, I like this song better, anyway.

undead pentas & other stuff

So, I got home from work today to discover that ALL of my pentas were droopy, including the ones that I planted last (in larger and better fertilized holes). I was both sad and embarrassed that my first attempt at flowerbeds was failing so miserably. I was also confused that it was just the pentas having a problem. I was told by someone at the Home Depot that these things were hardy, which is part of the reason I chose them in the first place.

Since they didn't look completely dead yet, I figured I'd give them one more day to take root before I cut my losses and replaced them with petunias or whatever. In expanding all of their holes and backfilling with potting soil, I was surprised at how DRY they were. I had watered right after planting, and after mulching. So I replanted, gave them all a good blast with the hose, and re-mulched around them. All before I even changed out of my work clothes. :)

Now, three hours later, I'm happy to report that 7 of the 8 pentas are standing perfectly upright and blooming again! The one that was droopy this morning is still looking a little rough, but I think it's also going to make a full recovery. Yay!

So, for my fellow black thumbs out there, a couple tips for planting flowers*:

1. When your flowerbeds consist of 2 inches of topsoil over several feet of clay, dig big holes and use lots of potting soil.
2. Unless you're planting cacti or Mexican heather (which is damned near indestructible, in my experience), don't be shy with the hose. Also, pentas apparently need more water than begonias and those mystery flowers I planted (though one of those was looking sort of droopy this afternoon, too).

If this flowerbed thing works out, I'm considering trying a container garden on the back porch. Or at least some tomatoes...I'm having trouble finding a good farmer's market around here, and I love me some fresh tomatoes.

In other news, my weight's been hovering around 202 this week. To say that I'm discouraged by this would be a massive understatement. I really need to just stay away from the scale until weigh-in morning, I think. Less stress for us all.

I also need to get around to posting about the new incentive plan that I'm using. I've decided not to call it a challenge, since I have a bad history with challenges, and I'm not really challenging myself to anything, besides. I'm just paying myself for weight loss, and once I have enough money saved to buy the drivetrain components for my new bike, the challenge is over. I've engineered the plan so that I'll have the money once I'm 30 lbs. lighter, which I'm hoping to hit by the end of this year. Or at least by next year's racing season.

But that's a whole 'nother post, one that I've been trying to write for days and days and can't quite work up the courage to put in writing. So let's just do a quick summary of the new not-challenge: basically, I'm just paying myself $25/lb to lose weight. This unusually-high payout is designed so I can build my new bike in a reasonable timeframe (like, before I'm eligible for the senior discount at Denny's). It also means that I'm only rewarding new losses, not the same 3 lbs over and over again like I did in the MS150 challenge. :) There are no other rules, really...I'm still trying to stay within my Sparkpeople calorie range, do 2 spin classes/week, at least one club ride, and I'm bringing workout clothes to the office with me so I can walk the track. I haven't actually made it onto the track at all yet, but I'm sure repaving the road to hell with my intentions. :) I've also got a book on my shelf that I've been trying to find time to review, which hopefully will fit nicely into my plan once I'm ready to add strength training back into the mix.

Right now, though, I'm just hoping that I won't have to subtract from my component fund this week. That scale number needs to drop below 200 again...quick, fast, and in a hurry.

*Anecdotal evidence based on two days' gardening experience, your mileage may vary. Probably will vary.

see, THIS is why I hire a lawn guy

This weekend, I spent approximately 7 hours planting shrubs and flowers, and spreading mulch. It would have taken less time, but I kept having to go back to Home Depot for more mulch. And to the garden center for more flowers*. I vastly underestimated my mulching and flowering needs. Also underestimated--how freaking heavy bags of mulch are, and how exhausting crawling around and digging in the dirt can be. Every muscle below my waist hurts, and my shoulders aren't feeling so hot either...I stayed in bed for 2 hours longer than I had planned this morning, not because I was tired but because I didn't want to move.

On the bright side, I probably burned a bunch of calories, and my flowerbeds look lovely. Hopefully they will stay that way all summer, because I am so not looking forward to doing that again. :)

UPDATE: And one of my pentas is now looking decidedly droopy. I think I didn't put enough potting soil around him, and he's having trouble rooting directly into the native soil (read: clay). Actually--confession!--it didn't even occur to me until about halfway through the planting that I should put the potting soil around the plants as well as under them. So it's likely that this poor plant is only the first penta to die in my care (or lack thereof). Oh well...I'll do better with the next batch.

*pentas, vince something-or-others (look kind of like impatiens, but the leaves are bigger...I don't remember the name), and begonias.

here I am!

yeah, hey...sorry. The holiday's change in routine, some looming project work and a sick kid have kept me away. I was totally going to put some music up last week, but then I slept till noon on Friday and it was really nice outside after that, so I ditched the blog in favor of enjoying the sunshine.

Anyway, a few things I've been meaning to talk about...

1. The MS150. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but HOLY CRAP, IT'S NEXT WEEK. :) I picked up my packet a week or so ago (#2400!), and I just got an email yesterday about the company jerseys. So, things are starting to come together, but I'm sort of uncomfortable with my team situation. There's been so little communication about ride details, and that makes me really insecure. I've never been good with team sports, big groups, what-have-you, and I'm also one of those people that likes to know exactly how a thing is going to go, especially when I'm doing it for the first time. I want to know exactly where to go and who I'm going to talk to, and ideally, exactly what to say and what their response will be. I'm not so much getting that here.

   For instance, I'm considering an alternate start location so that I can ride with people I know, vs. people who technically work for (or are married to or friends with someone who works for) the same company but whom I have never really met. However, since I haven't heard any details on the ride-day logistics of my team, I don't know whether I can drop off my stuff with the team the day before or if I am required to make other arrangements to get my stuff to the tents if I am not there for the team start. So far, all questions I've emailed to the organizer have been either ignored or answered weeks later, so I'm not terribly keen on sending another one. I suppose I can ask at jersey pickup. Maybe there'll be a flyer.

   Team anxiety aside, I'm getting kind of excited about the event. It's both my longest ride and my first multi-day tour. I need to send out a fund-raising email in the next couple weeks, but I already have enough donations that it will only take a few people to get me over the top. Physically, I'm not as light or as fit as I envisioned that I would be when I first started training, but I'm still way better off than I was then. I can totally do this...I just hope I'll have enough info beforehand to figure out a workable plan.

2. The bike. It's still clicking. Since I did have the bottom bracket cleaned and repacked with the tune-up, that bike mechanic was wrong. I can't really blame him, though, since I think I've narrowed the problem down to the right pedal. He wouldn't have been able to hear it with the bike on the stand, since it only happens when I'm clipped in. (What's disturbing is that he did hear a clicking, or pretended he did...so what the hell was that, then?) When I'm clipped into the right pedal, it clicks. The more pressure on the pedals, the louder the click. When I unclip the right side, it stops. If I unclip the left, clicking continues. Oddly, it also stops when it's raining (which explains why I didn't hear it on the Space Race...by the time the rain let up, the ipod was going.) I think it might be a lubrication or grit issue, or maybe something with cleat positioning. It happened with both sets of shoes, though, so a cleat problem is unlikely.

   Luckily, I have the same model pedals on the commuter bike, so I can easily move them to the Pilot to see if a worn pedal is the problem. I only rode the commuter a couple times before it started in with the front wheel wobble, so the pedals are practically new. If that doesn't work, well, I've been wanting to try a different pedal system anyway.

3. The Betty. I broke down and ordered a Betty jersey at bonus time, because I've wanted one since I first saw it (I forget where...Commute By Bike, maybe?). It was back ordered, but still arrived earlier than predicted. The only place I could find it didn't have it in an XL, so I ordered a large*. It's a little more snug than I'm comfortable with, especially in the arms, and the fit's a little weird through the bust...it's tight across the front, but pouches a little near the shoulders in the back. That could be because the sleeves are so tight, clinging where they shouldn't and making the rest of the jersey drape funny...I don't know.

   Even though I could have used a bigger size, I do like the jersey. The cut is very curvy, which suits me well. Usually, I have trouble finding jerseys that don't ride up on my hips, and this one has enough room even in the large. The houndstooth pattern looks more computer-generated (pixellated?) up close than I expected, but from a distance of 2-3 feet it's cool. And that little pink skull on the pocket? Too cute!

   So I'm torn on what to do with the jersey. It's a tighter fit than I'd like, but honestly? I still look pretty hot in it. If it weren't for the sleeves practically cutting off the circulation to my hands, it would be totally wearable. I'm tempted to just convert it to sleeveless, but I kind of like the pink 6s on the sleeves. So I think I'll just put it in the jersey drawer and try it again later this summer. When I've hopefully lost a pound or two. Or 10.

   (*They have a sizing chart on that page now, but didn't at the time I ordered. That's some info I could have used...L=8-10? Are you kidding me with this, Twin Six?!)

4. The weight. Speaking of losing weight...I don't know, guys. I've kind of lost my focus. I'm sure that comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone who's been reading here for the past few months...all things diet-related have kind of taken a back seat to things cycling. Now that the MS150 is nearly here, though, I'm wondering what to do next.

   Aaaand that's a whole other post, just waiting to be sorted out. Let's move on, for now. :)

5. Wicked! We're going to see Wicked this weekend! I'm so excited...I love me some musical theater, and I've heard nothing but good things about this show.
   

So, that's what's been going on with me. What's up with you?

this week's news

• I had the handlebars on the Pilot replaced with the new ones. I just got the bike back last night, so I've only taken it for a little test loop around the driveway. So far so good--the narrower grip is much more comfortable. I still can't comfortably reach the brake levers from the drop bar, but I think that's a brake shim fix. It's not the distance to the drops that's the problem anymore--it's the gap between the bar and the lever. Though I have long fingers, they're not quite long enough to make a secure grip.

  Also, when they replaced the standard stem with an oversized, they put on one that is 5mm shorter (I didn't even know there was such a thing as a 75mm stem...thought they all came in 10mm increments). I'm both thrilled and vexed by this. On the thrill side, my new bike's top tube will be 4mm longer, so this stem adjustment is going to give me nearly the same reach on the Orca as I used to have on the Pilot. With the narrower, shallower handlebar, it will actually feel a bit shorter. On the vex side, though, having the shorter stem makes it harder to determine whether my shoulder problems were related to width or reach. Not that it matters so long as they go away, but I just feel so unscientific, changing two things at once. :)

• In only tangentially bike-related news, I think I might be getting my new truck tomorrow if my current lease passes inspection. Finally! The truck has been ready for 2 weeks, but with one thing and another, I haven't been able to pick it up. It's been really frustrating, because I am not terribly fond of the car I'm currently driving (Camry). I mean, it's a good car...and it's going to stay in the family (Rob's buying it--more on that in a minute), but I was used to the horsepower on the loaner car, and the cargo space of the van before that, so going to a 4-cyl mid-size sedan was sort of a letdown. I don't think I'll be driving another car for a while. It's SUVs, trucks, and vans for the Joy from now on...gotta have that cargo space. The whole reason I had the Camry in the first place was because Rob was thinking of buying it, and I'm glad to be passing it along.

• And just in time, too, because Rob totaled his car last Thursday.* He was going to pick up the boy, who was sick at school, and didn't notice that traffic was stopped in front of him until it was too late...rear-ended a truck at about 50 mph. He was the only one injured, with a dislocated toe and severe bruising on his chest from the seatbelt/airbag combo. I shudder to think what would have happened without them.

  At any rate, he was treated and released, but he's still in a lot of pain...not supposed to drive or go to work for the rest of this week. The insurance is going to cover most of the cost of medical treatment, and we'll break even on the car--the settlement is just about equal to the balance of the car note. After I was sure Rob was going to be okay, that was the thing I was most worried about. We had a pretty huge loan on that car, since I was upside-down on the loan for the car before it and tacked on an extended warranty besides. Hooray for safe cars w/high resale value and good insurance!

  Though the car wreck experience has been totally scary and stressful, it couldn't have happened at a better time. I was turning in my Camry this week anyway, which will be available to buy in about a week...just enough time for the insurance company to process the claim. We got more for the car from the insurance than we probably would have on a trade-in, so that's also good. And it's the time of year when we have the most cash on hand, so making a down payment on the new car won't be an issue. So basically, Rob gets a nicer car for the same price as he was paying for the old one. It's perfect!

  Well, except for the part where he could have DIED.

  *how's that for burying the lede? :P I thought starting with that one would be too dramatic, especially since I waited until the crisis had passed to even say anything about it at all.

  Posted by Joy at 3:05 PM | Comments(0) |

Furniture update, and bike dreams

I forgot to mention last week--Roomstore called on Friday to schedule another delivery. I scheduled it for today, and made it clear that it was vitally important that they CALL ME and give a delivery window, because I'm not going to be home all day. The girl said that she'd write it down, but I have zero confidence. If they don't call by 8:30, I'm calling them. I have no problem being the pain-in-the-ass customer. I've gotten a lot of practice at it lately.

I'm a little nervous about this delivery, since the last I heard was that they would not have the entertainment center in stock for 3 more weeks. I swear, if they bring back the same damaged one, I am so done with their asses.

In another furniture update, Bush furniture did ship me the right rails for my desk drawer...they arrived about 4 days after I notified them. So, they're off my List.

UPDATE: Spoke too soon--I just opened the package the rails came in. THEY'RE THE SAME ONES. I gave them a list of their own part numbers, and they sent me the wrong rails. Welp, back on the List they go.

Next...I've had bikes on the brain so much lately that I am now dreaming about them. I was at some kind of company Christmas party in this dream--white elephant gift exchange, huge hotel venue--except that my family was also there. And I was wearing an eyepatch...not sure what's up with that. Anyway, I was at this table with some people from work, and I started to get nervous about the time. Someone asked me why I kept checking my watch, and I said "I have to leave before it gets dark so I can get home."

Then, I look down, and my party dress is now bike clothes. Next thing I know, my dream self is plotting the route home in her head...and it's to my hometown. So apparently, my company's having Christmas things in Wisconsin, and I bike to them. One of the co-workers made a comment about how I was crazy, and I replied with something like "it's not crazy at all...it'll only take 6 hours." AND I MEANT IT.

So, yeah...step one--admit you have a problem. And looking forward to a 6-hour bike commute, in winter, even in a dream? I have a problem. :)

UPDATE: While I was composing this post, the Roomstore called. They're delivering between 9:00 & 9:30. Guess it's time to uncable the TV again!

the Joy Furniture Curse; or, "am I a beautiful blonde with big t1ts and lips that taste like peaches?"

I think I might be afflicted by a furniture curse, and I have evidence to back the claim. Let's begin with a dining room table.

Exhibit A: JCPenney, September 2005

About 18 months ago, I decided I wanted a dining room table. After searching in person and online for a couple months, I found one at JCPenney.com for the right price in the style I wanted. Only after I placed my order did they tell me it was backordered--for two months. Okay, I thought. I don't really need it until Thanksgiving, it'll give me a chance to finish decorating that room, whatever.

Almost 3 months later, during the 2nd week of December, I finally got a call from the delivery company that my table was ready to be delivered. Since they could not deliver on a Saturday, I took a day off work that next week and waited for the table to come. It arrived mid-morning, and the delivery guy immediately brought it in and set it upside-down on the floor. Then he asked me to sign the paperwork, without taking anything out of the boxes. At this trusting time in my life, I had no problem with that--I was grateful to finally get the thing, and excited about setting it up.

Everything went fine with the assembly, until I went to turn the table over. Imagine my dismay when there was a HUGE GOUGE out of the tabletop, corresponding exactly with the tear in the box that the delivery guy was very careful to cover up when he laid the box upside down. That rat bastard.

I immediately contacted JCPenney, beginning a unique sort of customer service hell that is the reason I will never buy so much as a t-shirt from them ever again. Because I was leaving for Wisconsin on the 23rd, I requested that they send me another one before that date. They replied that they couldn't do that, because the truck delivery company they use could not turn around that quickly. I asked about returning to a store. No, this item is not sold in ths physical stores, so I couldn't exchange it there. I would have to have another one delivered after I got back from my vacation. I agreed to this, until I got an email--let me pause right here and emphasize that they sent me this information by email--stating that in order to process my request, I would need to CALL and provide them with a method of payment for the replacement table, and then they would refund my money once they received the damaged one back at the warehouse.

AW, HELL NO.

I sent back an email--because, you know, that's how they contacted me with this completely outrageous demand for more money to fix a problem that was entirely their fault--stating that I was not going to pay them another dime, since I had waited for this thing for a month longer than they had promised, they were at fault, and they gave me no other options for the return. At this point, I was even still being nice about it. I gave them 3 options--1) they could send me another table at their expense in exchange for their damaged one, 2)they could send someone to pick up the damaged table and then send me a new one once they receive it, 3) they could pick up their busted-ass table and refund my money. (More nicely worded, of course.)

Reasonable, right? I heard NOTHING back. Crickets. I even checked the email for a disclaimer that it was an unmonitored mailbox--nothing to that effect anywhere in the message. After a month passed with no response from them, I resigned myself to living with the (huge, ugly, deep) scratch. I bought a wide table runner and got on with my life.

My only other contact with JCPenney on this or any other issue was when I got an automated email acknowledgement stating that the email I sent in January had been received and my issue was being addressed. When did I receive this email? JUNE. Has my issue been addressed? Not even remotely. That damaged table is still in my dining room, though I have changed runners since then.

Exhibit B: Walmart, Fall 2006

In the process of redoing the floors in our dining room and kitchen last summer, I decided that I wanted a different table in the kitchen as well. The one that was gracing the breakfast nook at that time was the same one I had brought from Wisconsin in 1998, bought at Pier 1 in 1995. It was outdated, it was cheap, the matching chairs were long gone, and it didn't match the new floors. Unfortunately, after sinking a good chunk of change into the reflooring project, there wasn't a whole lot left over for furniture. I figured that of our kitchen table problems, I could resolve 3 of the 4.

After looking at some-assembly-required table/chair sets at several stores, I finally settled on one at Wal-Mart. I got someone to help me load the last in-stock table and 4 chairs into the van, and I headed home. Pushing the 70-lb table box into the kitchen was a big sweaty ordeal, but I managed it on my own. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that the box contained only two table legs and no mounting hardware.

AW, HELL NO.

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Since I knew that the Wal-Mart I had bought the table from didn't have any more in stock, I went to the next nearest Wal-Mart. I went directly to the customer service counter and explained my situation. The lady there immediately understood what I wanted (just open another box and give me the missing parts, so that I don't have to cart the entire 70-lb table back here for an exchange), and got someone to do it for me. I got my legs and hardware within 10 minutes, the table assembled great, and I still shop at that Wal-Mart to this day.

Exhibit C: OfficeFurniture2Go.com/Bush Furniture, January 2007

At the new house, I use the 3rd bedroom as an office. In order to use this room as an office, I needed a desk. Since I had already bought a bunch of shit for the new house, I needed a cheap desk. After some online searching, I found one that I liked at OfficeFurniture2Go.com. I bought it, they shipped it, my shopping experience with them was absolutely wonderful.

However.

Two weeks later, when I finally got around to assembling the desk, I discovered a problem. After some confusion about how the hell the drawers went in, I discovered that instead of sending me two different sets of rails for the two drawers, they sent me two sets of the same rails.

AW, HELL NO.

I contacted Bush Furniture via online customer service, they're sending me my missing parts. I haven't received them yet, but I'm sure they're on their way.

This story is actually sort of boring. Let's see if I can make up for it in...

Exhibit D: Roomstore, January/February 2007

I think I've mentioned my much-beloved new TV, right? Well, one of the first things on my list of needs for the new house was an entertainment center to put it in. After a brief search and an agonizing decision process, I broke down and bought the only one in my price range that I really loved. When I ordered it in the first week of January, they let me know up front that it was backordered until mid-February. I bought a cheap Target TV stand and waited anxiously for my "real" furniture to arrive.

Late last week, I got a call from the Roomstore warehouse--my furniture was in! Well, almost in. The credenza was in Houston, but they would have to ship the hutch from their warehouse in San Antonio. Everything would be ready for delivery on Tuesday, but the earliest delivery time available was Thursday. I opted for Saturday instead, since I didn't want to take off work. The phone person said that the warehouse dispatch or someone would call Saturday morning and give me a delivery time window. Thanks were exchanged, done deal.

So, since I have my club ride on Saturday mornings, I asked Rob if he could come over and stay at the house in the morning, because they would be calling the house phone with the delivery window. He agreed, and arrived at 6:30 this morning to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Finally, when they still hadn't called by 2:00 pm (Rob had stayed back at the house so I could get my car's oil changed), I called the store where I bought the thing. They gave me a phone number for the warehouse. I called the warehouse, where I was transferred a couple times and then told that my delivery window was 3:00-7:00 pm. Which meant that Rob had wasted an entire day at my house for want of one stupid fucking courtesy call.

I got home from the dealership at 3:15, Rob went home shortly thereafter. At around 6:40, I finally heard the truck pull up in the driveway. The drivers were not terribly (or at all, really) friendly, but they had the furniture and were prepared to bring it in. Yay! I unhooked the TV and all the receivers, set them aside, and moved the Target stand out of the way. They brought in the credenza first, and it looked heavenly. Furniture! Real furniture! I started threading cables through the cable holes.

Then they brought in the hutch. As I watched them take the bracing board off the bottom, I noticed a major defect in the staining on the right side. It looked like someone had brushed or scratched the finish while it was still wet, leaving a two-inch unstained line exposed.

IMAGINE MY DISMAY. IMAGINE IT.

I mentioned the damage, and they took the hutch back out to the truck. While they were out there, I looked over at the front of the credenza and noticed a chip out of one of the doors. Again, not delivery damages--manufacturer defect. So after waiting for a month and a half, then waiting all day for a call that never came, then waiting until the last 20 minutes of my 4-hour delivery window, the furniture arrived with both pieces damaged.

AW, HELL NO.

Long, still ongoing, story short: they took both pieces back to the warehouse, I called the warehouse who told me to call the store. I called the store, who promised me a callback within the hour. Eight minutes past the hour, I called back and talked to the exchange person, who said that she could process the exchange, but that all the stock they had was delivered. They wouldn't have any more in stock for at least 3 weeks. I unloaded on her every way in which their customer service had sucked for the past 24 hours, and I asked her what could be done about this. She was not authorized to do anything but process the exchange. I asked if I could cancel the order (and a little piece of my heart sighed wistfully). Yes, but she couldn't do it until the furniture got back to the warehouse, and it was still showing "en route". I asked what else they could do for me to make up for the horrible experience I was now having. I could talk to the store manager, who was not in today but would be tomorrow. Sigh.

By the time I hung up the phone, the rage was gone, and I had told her to continue processing the exchange just in case. I'm going to talk to the manager tomorrow, see what he offers me. At the very least, I'm going to get free delivery out of this. If I choose to wait another 3 weeks, I'm hoping for a significant discount for my trouble. If all else fails, I'll cancel the whole fucking thing and live with the Target TV stand.

So, what do you think? Is it a curse? Or maybe I should just suck it up and start shopping at real furniture stores. I may have to pay $3000 for an armoire, but at least it might arrive on time and intact.

Fuck.

um, brrr!

I'd like to take a moment and apologize for every time I ever snickered at the sad little Texans who bust out the down jackets and mittens when the temperature dips below 40. Because, after almost 9 years here, I have become one of them. Also? Thirty degrees with Houston humidity is a totally different animal than 30-degree Wisconsin. You throw freezing rain and a nasty bit of wind in there, and I won't be leaving the house voluntarily for ANYTHING.

Unfortunately, work is mandatory. Noah's school was closed today, but my office, sadly, was not. So I bundled up, coffeed up, and shut myself into the car before I even opened the garage door. The roads actually weren't that bad and no one was being exceptionally stupid, so I made it to work in the usual amount of time. Since then, I've pretty much been fighting the urge to hibernate.

I really, REALLY need to get back into my working-out groove. I did make it to the Monday morning spin, but I think I'm going to have to start looking at other options. As much as I love the instructor, I don't love leaving the house at 4:40 am to get to the class. There's a 24-hour fitness location about 5 minutes from the house with 5:30 am classes, but I don't like their bikes OR their instructors as well as the Woodlands locations.

The cycling club has trainer classes on Tuesday/Thursday nights that I'm considering also...the last 6-week series focused on strength & endurance, this next 6 weeks are for speed. I wish I hadn't missed that first series--I really could have used some endurance/pacing tips. Still, the speed sessions can't hurt, right? These cost actual money, though, so I'm still waffling.

Even if it's not bike-related, I desperately need to get back into the gym regularly. The Monday morning workout was the first time I've set foot in the gym since...before Christmas? Is that even possible? I'm not so much worried about weight, because my eating has been pretty well under control. What I'm worried about, more than anything, is how easy it is to talk myself out of workouts lately. The longer I go, the easier it gets. And if it really takes 21 days to form a habit, I'm maybe a few days away from forming a bad one.

So, to that end, I'm planning a stop at the gym after work today. Even though it breaks my rule about no voluntary stops in this godforesaken weather, the gym is literally on the way home. Like, I pass within 10 feet of the driveway every single day. I think it's time to turn into the parking lot, for once.

I haven't felt this way about a technology since I discovered iTunes

Late to the game as usual, I finally gave in to this Tivo/DVR business everyone already has. Best. Invention. Ever. Seriously. I may never watch live TV again. LOVE IT.

Although, maybe after the T-W fiasco (did I tell you they sent me a bill for $199? After I canceled? That included charges for which I had already paid? On the bright side, the lady I talked to on my irate customer call was very sympathetic to my story, and assures me that I don't actually owe them any money. Of course, I didn't really need her assurances to know that I wasn't paying them another f'ing dime, but enough about that), I'm just delighted to have equipment that actually works. And the Dish Network stuff does work. Beautifully. Simply. Immediately. Every time, every channel. And the picture's better on the flat screen with dish, even on standard channels.

Now if AT&T would just activate my damned DSL (was supposed to be yesterday), they'll have a customer for life.

Other than that, things are coming together. Both cats are moved, and Jackson is nursing his moving trauma by throwing his weight around with Norman. Because he was there first, he thinks he's got dibs on all the good sleeping spots. I imagine Norman will win in the end, though, since he's got size going for him. Being an 18-lb. cat has its advantages that way.

I've stayed the last couple nights there, and mostly gotten used to the sounds around the house. The first night I was up till 3 am.. It was so quiet that every house-settling noise had me dialing 911 and checking the house for intruders, my finger hovering over the "talk" button. Finally, I found Armageddon on one of the movie channels and watched until I passed out. The past two nights have been better--Noah stayed with me, and it's easier to ignore the strange noises when there's another person around.

I haven't worked out at all since the move, and I do feel a little guilty about that. I meant to go to a spin class this morning, but I was exhausted by the time we got back from Walmart last night, and I just didn't feel up to a 4:30 wake-up call. I'm going to try to hit a 5:30 tomorrow morning, so this week will not be a total loss. Counting spin classes, I've got 117 miles planned for next week, so I need to get back into the groove.

Speaking of that, I was looking over the charity ride schedule for the months leading up to the MS150, trying to work out a tentative plan. I've signed up for the Frostbike 50 on 1/28, and then I'm riding solo long rides till March, when I'll pick up the charity Sundays again with the Continental Classic and the Bluebonnet Express. Then I want to do the century course for the Space Race this year, which is on 4/1. After that, I'm on my own again until the MS150. In the 14 weeks between now and then, I'm hoping to put about 1600 miles on the bike, which equates to around 100 hours in the saddle at my current speed. That's not counting the spin class miles, and I plan to do two of those per week. Hopefully, this will be enough training to make for a successful MS150.

Also helping this cause are the new wheels that Rob got me for Christmas. On my first ride after the shop put them on, I was a little disappointed, because I didn't really see much performance improvement in anything other than cornering, and I felt like I was riding through molasses for most of the ride. I chalked it up to wind and the fact that I had just come back from vacation. Checking the tire pressure before my beginner ride on Saturday, however, I discovered that my tires were at 40 psi. Yikes! I assumed the shop would fill the tires to 110, but they had probably just put enough air in to roll it out the door. Even allowing for some seepage, that first ride on Monday couldn't have been at more than 80 psi, which explains the whole "riding through molasses" thing. As you can probably imagine, the wheels were a totally different experience at the correct pressure. The cornering was still lovely, and I gained nearly a full mph's worth of speed w/the same level of effort. Fabulous. I can't wait to go out on a solo ride so I can play with them a bit more.

And finally, I was down a lb. on my home scale today. I'm hoping for another one by Friday.

So, life is good. Between finishing off the moving jobs, work, and getting back to the MS150 training schedule, it promises to be busy-busy-busy around here for a while. I'll try to get some songs up on Friday (I forgot last week), but I doubt you'll see much of me before then.

Jackson update

Jackson's fine. He ventured out of the laundry room yesterday morning, but then got freaked out by the satellite installers in the afternoon and hid for several hours. He must have found a new spot--we tore the house apart looking for him before we left, and never could find him. I was worried that he had gotten outside, but then as soon as I settled in on the couch for a few minutes, he appeared. He's walking normally, purring, eating, pooping. His little moving adventure doesn't seem to have done any permanent damage. Yay!

Now we just need to bring Norman over and get him acclimated. With this one, I think we'll use the carrier.

The moving adventures of Jackson the cat

Whenever I move house, I always hire movers. I tried U-Haul a couple times, but with the gas cost, my relatively small amount of large stuff, and the trouble I have with driving large trucks, it's just a better deal all around to hire a couple guys who do this for a living. So, when I was going to move this time, I called my favorite neighborhood moving company and scheduled them to come at 11:00 yesterday. I figured this would be late enough that I wouldn't have to miss my club ride--I could finish riding by 10 and be home by 10:30, plenty of time to make the appointment. I could even shower!

They arrived at 10:20. Normally, arriving early would be a good thing, but in this case, it caused a bunch more stress than we bargained for...most notably for Jackson the cat.

Jackson is our most timid cat, and he has an attachment to me. If we have company when I'm not home, he hides under the bed, or the couch, or in the closet, or any number of other hidey-holes he's made for himself inside the furniture. When my mother-in-law cat-sits for us on vacation, she hardly ever sees Jackson before the 3rd or 4th day, and then only because the boy needs to eat. By the end of the week, he's usually grown accustomed enough to her that he'll come out and sit on the couch, maybe even let her pet him. So he adjusts to new people eventually, but mostly he's a big pussy. (Pun totally intended.)

Knowing that the strangeness of the movers and the chaos they brought with them would freak out all 5 cats, I had planned on crating Jackson and Norman (the two cats going with us) before the movers came. Since they came early, this did not happen, and we got a little more stress than we bargained for.

When the movers came, Jackson did what he always does--he hid under the bed. And what's the first thing the movers did? Moved the bed. So Jackson hid again, they uncovered him again, round and round and round she goes. By the time I got home at 10:45, only the sofas were left*, the cats were all freaked out, and there was no sign of Jackson. Since all the doors were open and chaos ruled, I didn't think much about the cats. They would fend for themselves, then show up when things calmed down again.

We got through the move and set up the furniture in the new house with no further incident. I was appalled at how dirty the sofa looked in the immaculate new house (sadly, I fear that it won't be that way for very much longer), particularly a palm-sized orange-brown stain at the center of the bottom edge that I didn't remember. I didn't worry about it much, though, because the fabric is Scotchguarded. I made a mental note to get some cheap rags and oxy-clean, then got on with my life.

While the movers were bringing in the bedroom furniture, Noah called. "Is Jackson with you? Because we can find all the other cats, but not him."
"No, he's not with me. He's probably hiding, or got out with the doors open. He'll come back when he thinks it's safe. He'll be fine, hon, don't worry."

And I wasn't worried yet, but I asked the movers all the same, "I hate to ask this, but when you moved the furniture, did you happen to see any cats jump out of it? Because we're missing one."

"A LOT of cats jumped out of stuff, ma'am." Great...I'm totally the crazy catlady story when they get back to the office.

"Okay, thanks."

About an hour later, I was back at Rob's house, and Jackson was still missing. Rob and Noah had already looked everywhere he could hide inside the house, so I checked all the nearby bushes outside. The more I searched, the more worried I got. With his claw covers and his natural cowardice, he wouldn't fare very well with the gangs of strays roaming the neighborhood. Rob asked a couple times if he could have gotten on the truck. No, I insisted that he couldn't have gotten on the truck, becausee the movers spent 10 minutes at my house cleaning and rearranging it, and surely they would have noticed a 12-lb black-and-white fraidycat.

Still worried, I walked the block a few more times calling Jackson's name, rechecked the closets and garage. Rob got in his car to drive the neighborhood looking for him. I decided this was the best we could do, and decided to make a run to Home Depot.

On the way to the store, that stain on the sofa came back to me, along with a terrible thought--what if I didn't notice it before because it's fresh? What if Jackson DID get on the truck, inside the sofa? Could that be a bloodstain, soaked through from the inside? I abandoned my trip to Home Depot and raced to the house.

I ran to the living room and sprawled on the floor next to the couch. I felt the stain--damp. SHIT! I started palpating the under-lining of the furniture, and there it was--a warm, heavy lump. Jackson! I started talking to him, begging him to say something, move, anything. I got nothing. I called Rob.

"Rob, you need to come over to the new house. I found Jackson inside the couch, I don't know if he's dead or alive, he's not making any noise and he's not moving. He may be alive but I don't know how bad he's hurt, there's a stain on the couch and ohmygodIcan'tbelieveIletthishappen!"

"Tell me how to get there."

This is one of the reasons I married the man. I just wish it had been enough.

While I waited, panicked, I tried to tear the lining off the bottom of the couch and get to Jack. It was surprisingly strong. I managed to tear a small hole, and I stuck my fingers in. I was able to touch him, and started stroking his fur and talking to him. He leaned his head into my hand. He was alive!

I pulled the couch out from the wall, and discovered that it was completely torn along the back side. I was able to see Jackson now, and he had moved to the other side of the couch. So he could move on his own, and I was relieved to see that he didn't have any gaping wounds. He looked back at me, silent. I called him to come out, and reached in to pet him some more and coax him out. He let me pet him, but I was afraid to drag him out in case he had broken bones or internal bleeding from being bounced around inside the moving truck.

I called Rob to let him know Jack was alive, then called the emergency vet. They gave me directions and pricing, and then Rob arrived. He was able to tear the lining some more and lift up the back of the couch so I could gently pull the cat out. We examined him and found no external injuries, Rob felt his legs, checked both ends for bleeding, palpated his belly and sides. All seemed fine. He was obviously terrified, and he had a muscle spasm going in his back leg, but he didn't seem to be in any pain.

We took him into the master closet and watched him walk, which he was able to do. When we opened the door and let him have a look around, he examined a couple rooms then took refuge under the exact middle of the bed. After discussing for a few minutes, we decided to wait for the vet till Monday--Rob made the excellent point that, shitty as it may sound, if he has massive internal injuries, he probably won't survive the night no matter what we do. Since he didn't seem to be in any pain, we can save the (exorbitant) emergency vet bill by waiting it out overnight. So Rob lifted the bed, and I went in and got the cat (poor guy...he was probably thinking the world was coming to an end--"all my hiding places are destroyed!"). We put him in the laundry room with food, water, a rug, and a litterbox, and left the house.

When I called the emergency vet back, I got a tech who found the whole situation hysterically funny (man, am I glad she didn't answer the phone the first time I called...then again, my tone was probably more relaxed this time), but who pretty much validated what we had already done. Her advice was that he was probably fine, but put him in a small space with everything he needs so that he can calm down.

Noah and I are going back there this morning, and I really hope Jackson's okay. Even though our cats have torn up our furniture (they did not always have claw covers), ruined our carpet, cost a small fortune in vet bills, and covered our clothes in hair, I kinda love the little guys.

(Oh, and the stain on the couch that led to Jackson's discovery? There's some debate about that around here. Rob checked it and thought Jackson vomited in the couch, and I agree. Noah, however, insists that it's an old marinara sauce stain--prompting a brief chat about TELLING ME WHEN HE SPILLS SOMETHING ON THE DAMNED COUCH. Either way, it was definitely not blood, and for that I'm thankful. Really, I'm grateful it was there in the first place, because I wouldn't have found Jackson nearly as quickly without it. Of course, Not grateful enough to leave it there--scrubbing it away is the first thing on my to-do list this afternoon. And then I'm going to get to work on the cushions.

*lest you think that I cleaned Rob out--we negotiated the division of the furniture. I did end up with most of the furniture we bought after we got married, mainly because he didn't like it much in the first place.

very big update

I've been quiet around here, haven't I? There's been a lot of life stuff going on lately, and I've had trouble figuring out the best way to put it all into words without coming off either too flip or too maudlin. I eventually settled for not saying anything at all, but now there is a bunch of stuff I want to write about here that I can't because it's related to the things I've been avoiding getting into here.

So, I'm just going to rip off the band-aid and be done with it.

Somewhere around the middle of last month, Rob and I decided to separate. We had been having problems for a few months, and got to the point where we were just making each other miserable. The thought of getting into a whole anatomy-of-the-marriage explanation makes me tired, so suffice it to say that no one is at fault in this, there was no major precipitating event or affair, we are just great friends that probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. We both really wanted it to work, but it just...didn't. And I don't want to live the next 30-50 years just going through the motions because we don't want to give up on Us. We both deserve better.

So, I looked around for apartments within the boy's school attendance zone, and discovered that there aren't any. After about a week of dealing with realtors and showings, I did find a house for rent within my price range that wasn't ugly, tiny, or 50 feet from an active railroad track. It's also closer to work, so yay! I've got the utilities turned on and the fancy new TV installed, but we don't move in for real until Saturday. Noah was a little upset at first (we waited till after Christmas to tell him, and then I totally botched it), but now he's sort of hard to read on the subject. He's glad he doesn't have to change schools, I think, but he's not really sure how it's all going to shake out. We've done a division of cats, with the two big boys going with us and the two girls and the youngest boy staying with Rob. Rob would rather not be left with three, but my landlord will only accept two. Anyone want a cat? He's very cute, I swear! Comes with claw covers and current shots. We'll even deliver. Anywhere within a 500 mile radius--I like to drive. :)

I also canceled my WW monthly pass. I haven't stayed for a meeting or counted points in over a month, and I can step on a scale at home for free. The day I weighed 198.2 at WW, I was 194.5 at home, so I've adjusted my pre-Christmas weigh-in accordingly.

So, it's been a time of big changes and small dramas. I did 60 miles of riding this weekend, but have made 0 spin classes. I can't find my Polar IR adapter, so I haven't been able to upload my stats and it's making me crazy to think of them piling up in the watch. Hopefully I'll find it again before it starts deleting workouts I haven't uploaded yet. I've also had some utilities issues with the new house, most notably with cable TV and the water management company. Hopefully, they'll get resolved by the move-in day, or Time-Warner is dead to me. The water company I choose to forgive, mainly because I like clean clothes and showers and they're the only gig in town for that sort of thing.

we're back!

back from Wisconsin, probably a couple lbs. heavier. Good thing I lost a bunch last week, eh?

what's happening

not much, that's what.

I got a response back from the guy who runs our company MS150 team, and after some confusion about whether or not I was registered for the ride, I managed to join the team. I still have very little idea what that entails, but hey--I'm a member!

And while I was searching for something else on the MS150 website, I came across their officially-sanctioned ms150 logo files, hidden under the group info section. In a classic example of not leaving well enough alone, I dutifully downloaded one of the gifs and replaced my existing sidebar button with it. Only then did I realize it had a white background, so I tried to photoshop it out of existence. All resulting gifs looked like crap, so I finally gave up and tried to put the original .png back. Even though it's exactly the same file as it was before, I get this weird border around the edge of the drop shadow now. After messing with it for about 5 minutes, I gave up and put the official white-backgrounded gif back. So now I have a white button instead of a nicely blended image, and you know why? Because I'm graphically incompetent, that's why. Grr.

I haven't been doing much riding this week either. This past weekend was so cold, we only lasted 8 miles on the Saturday ride, and I didn't commute on Friday. Sunday was rained out and I accidentally slept in Monday, so I've got a grand total of 18 miles this week. Woo! Go me!

On the bright side, I did discover that my bike fits nicely in my car's back seat, so I don't have to mess with the carrier anymore. I will need to mess with an old bedsheet to protect the upholstery, but that's a little thing. I'll be glad when I have a cargo-carrying vehicle again. At the rate I drive, that'll be about 4 more months. Just in time for the big ride!

In weight loss news, there really isn't any. I'm holding steady at 201-202, though my eating has been more controlled this week than it has been lately. I won't be able to weigh in tomorrow because we're going to have a consultant onsite. I could probably still go weigh in over my lunch hour, but I think I'll just wait till Friday again instead. Give myself one more day.

Thanksgiving, dresses, metabolic rates...

Thanksgiving went fine. I forgot to put starch in the apple pie, and the hashbrown casserole was a bit of a disappointment, but everything else was good. We have about 10 lbs of leftover turkey, but that's what I get for buying a 20-lb bird for 8 people. I mean, I bought it so we would have lots of leftovers, but I was really expecting guests to take some home with them. Rob's mom did, but we've been dining on leftovers for 3 days and are only about halfway through. Anyone know a good turkey soup recipe? Turkey casserole? Maybe we could work green bean casserole in there somewhere? Desperation is the mother of invention in cooking, too, right? (Or is that necessity?)

Anyway, I meant to get back here on Friday to post music, but never got around to it. I also didn't weigh in last week, since my meeting day is Thursday and I was busy with the turkey. Again, could have done it on Friday, but weigh in the day after Thanksgiving? You can't be serious. :) So I skipped a week. I'll be back on the scale this Thursday, right before the annual formal holiday party.

Speaking of which, I tried my dress on with the, erm, augmented bra from last year, and it fits fine. So, no alterations--yay! I also found some jewelry, shoes, and a purse. I'm a little uneasy about the shoes and purse, because they don't match the color of the dress. I tried to find wine-colored shoes, but didn't want to pay $100 for uncomfortable sandals that I would only wear for 3 hours anyway. So I bought black, to hell with the fashionistas. Who's gonna be looking at my feet anyway, right? (I do sort of wish I had bought a black dress now, though.)

And let's just not talk about the annual party picture. I'm going to look fatter this year. There's just no getting around it. All the fat-wrangling undergarments in the world wouldn't make me look 20 lbs thinner, and that's what it would take just to even it out between this year and last. Ah well, bygones. Hopefully, next year's picture will put them all to shame.

In bike news, I didn't make the 100-mile goal last week. Skipping the commute and a spin class reduced me to only 55 miles. This week should be better--I've already got 83 real-bike miles and one class under my belt, with two days left. Since the consensus on the poll I posted last week seems to be 10 miles/class, that means I only need 7 more miles to meet the 100-mile goal. Since I've got a class planned for Wednesday, looks like $10 more for the MS Society.

How much they get for weight loss still remains to be seen. I'm starting to get frustrated by my body's refuse-to-lose attitude. I have burned over 5000 calories in exercise over the past 4 days (per my HRM), and my weight was exactly the same on my home scale this morning as it was two weeks ago. I'm not eating the world over here...even with the turkey extravaganza, I wouldn't put my calorie intake average over 2500 per day. I've been guzzling water for two days. I mean, I'm glad that I didn't gain anything, but I'm sick to death of losing so slowly.

So, I'm taking a more intensive approach this week than I have been recently. Well, for the past two years, really. Today, I've tracked everything, and plan to continue through the next 3 weeks(I'd go longer, but that's running into the Christmas vacation, and I'd rather not deal with counting then). If my calories-in, calories-out don't start matching up*, I'm going to have to see about a doctor visit.

*With a reasonable margin for error, of course. I'm pretty sure my monitor is over-estimating calorie expenditure, and I have to take water retention and such into account as well. Still, if documented food - documented exercise = less than standard BMR, and I'm putting on weight, well...something's rotten in the state of Joy, is what I'm saying.

happy happy joy joy

Things that contributed to my good mood today:

• I got my ass out of bed in time for the 5:30 spin class this morning.
• The substitute for my favorite instructor was my other favorite instructor.
• She played a song that I liked enough to download for my very own.
• She announced that both she and my favorite instructor would be doing classes at the new club closer to my house, starting next week!
• One of these classes is at 5:30 am on Thursdays, so there's another day I can get my workout out of the way before work. The other ones are in the evening on Monday and Wednesday, so if I don't feel like getting up at ass-thirty in the morning on those days, I can always catch the later class.
• The new gym is in the same parking lot as a new Starbucks, whose baristas make the best non-fat latte foam I have ever encountered. (I don't know if it's the new machines or well-trained staff. I'm inclined to think it's the former, since my latte this morning was a bit shy on milk and there was something slightly off-tasting about the espresso. But it had great foam!)
• I picked up my new Camry yesterday after a long and largely self-inflicted trade-in debacle, and it's even prettier than expected. I kind of miss the get-up-and-go of the loaner Avalon, but the new 4-cylinder Camry is pretty perky. And considerably quieter than our Corolla...I can actually listen to an audiobook now without turning the volume up to 30 to compete with road noise.
• The new car has an aux port, which means that Lucy can once again be my all-purpose iPod, and Audrey can return to her life of leisure as emergency backup iPod.
• I made breakfast and remembered my multivitamin today, and still left the house 10 minutes early.
• I think I have mostly figured out the new heart rate monitor. (I have some small beefs with it, mostly with how it interacts with the web application...but that's a whole 'nother post.)
• Just one workday away from the 4-day weekend!

Happy Thanksgiving!

tales of formalwear woe

The dress for the formal holiday party came in the mail yesterday, and it's too big. The waist and skirt parts fit okay (maybe a little looser than I expected, but hey--more room for wine!), but the bust is a bit gappy, and the straps droop. Typically, this is both happy and sad. Happy, because a size 16 dress is too big. Sad, because it's not enough too big to exchange it for a 14. With only 2 weeks till the big event, I now have to figure out how this dress can be worn without excessive strap-and-gap adjustments.

Honestly, though, I saw this coming. I've never been able to fill out a normal-busted dress. I had hoped that the cup size I gained during the Pregnancy of Doom (like the 10 lbs it distributed elsewhere, the boobs seem to be here to stay) would be enough to fill out a 16, but the girls are apparently still lacking. I suppose this will be good once the rest of me is smaller, but it's an endless source of frustration at the moment. I'm going to try to remedy the situation with various bra trickery, but I suspect that the real solution is going to be alterations. Let's just hope I can get them done in time.

what I did this weekend

• Realized that when the weather channel says that theres a north wind, that means it's coming FROM the north, not blowing northward. (I know, I know...at almost 33, I really should have known this by now)

• Rode the Novemberfest Metric Century 44-mile route, riding into a 20-mph north wind for most of the first 30 miles (but those last 10-15 miles were SWEET). To give you an idea of how badly that wind SUCKED, I averaged 12.7 mph. There were some rolling hills, too, but the wind is what really slowed me down. Aside from that, though, I really loved it. That area out there has some beautiful roads for riding, and the free lunch was excellent. I'll definitely be back next year.

• Did the Sunday club ride, got a wee bit lost. Ended up doing nearly 30 miles, instead of the usual 27.

• Bought a dress for the company holiday party.

• Decided on a new 22-week challenge, on which I will elaborate more tomorrow.
  

and in other news...

I tried to do this as a "real" bulleted list, but it totally hosed my template. Weird. I think it might have had something to do with putting part of it in the body and part in the extended entry, but I'm not so good with HTML. So, we go with low-tech bullets here.

**I had a personal training session today, and I hated every minute of it. These last couple sessions, she's been starting with my most hated type of movements--coordination exercises. Like, "hold yourself up and extend your right arm and left leg", or front lunge followed by side lunge, or squats with alternating torso twists. HATE. I am the least coordinated person on the planet, and these stupid things exercise my brain more than my muscles. I'm also getting frustrated that she hasn't taken any measurements since the end of my last set of sessions, even though she said she was going to on that Tuesday she canceled because she was sick. So I've been wearing my lightest clothes every freakin' session, and she doesn't mention it. She'll probably decide to do it on the day I come sporting sweatpants. I know I could just ask about the measurements, but dammit! I'm also irritated that I went through all the trouble of filling out those stupid food preference forms and she has done exactly nothing with them. AND her objective for the last few sessions seems to have been to irritate the crap out of me and then get the session over with as quickly as possible so she can go hang out with the other trainers.

Of course, it's also possible that I'm a little on edge today, and this may be affecting my interpretation of her motives. Mostly I'm just pissed because I weighed light this morning and skimped on breakfast in anticipation of the weights and measures, and now that effort's completely wasted.

**I've gone back to the Core plan for my weight-watching needs. Flex is obviously not doing the job for me--I'm going into my 10th week of meetings, and my cumulative loss during that time is 0.4 lbs. Not to mention, recording every blessed thing is a pain in the ass. So, we'll see if this is better. Oh, and I might start staying for meetings again. Even though I can barely stand them, I always seem to do better on weeks when I've stayed for the meeting.

**I desperately want to do this tour...badly enough that I'm half-tempted to put down my deposit now. The only thing stopping me is that I also really want to be pregnant by then. If I commit to the tour, then I have to avoid conceiving between now and, say, April, otherwise I'll be too pregnant to ride. Of course, it's not like we've had enormous luck with that endeavor, but it would be just my luck that I book the trip and then have to cancel due to baby belly. Though now that I think of it, maybe that's a good way to ensure that I'm pregnant by July--just rely on Murphy's Law as a conception strategy. Though we've already made several major purchases and still no baby, so maybe that strategy doesn't work all that well.

About the tour, though--that April timeframe coincides almost exactly with when I could afford to pay the balance of the tour cost anyway, so the sensible thing to do is just wait to book anything until then. Sigh. I hate waiting.

**Speaking of people who hate waiting...I had a guy on my club ride this weekend who absolutely would not stop at stop signs. I've never seen anything like it. I mean, I've seen cyclists run stop signs before, but usually they slow down and yield right-of-way to anyone who was there first. This guy--let's call him Flagrant Disregard Man (FDM)--it was like he thought stop signs were merely suggestions. Dude didn't even slow down at most of them.

I start out every ride with a brief safety speech--obey all traffic laws, signal turns, point/call out debris, etc. I do make a special comment about stop signs, because we roll through them if it's not a high traffic area and there are no cars. There are some places on the route where we'd be losing momentum every 100 yards if we didn't. The line I always use (borrowed from another ride leader, I think) is, "treat them like you would in your car." For me, this means that a rolling stop is permissible if you have the right-of-way. The sheriff's department disagrees with me, I'm sure, but I haven't hit anyone or gotten pulled over yet.

Anyway, I knew there was going to be trouble with FDM almost immediately. For one thing, he was faster than me. He was good at hanging back enough to ride with us, but keeping up was starting to be a challenge. I didn't realize his utter disdain for the big red octagon until after the first regroup stop. That's the place on our route after which the 4-way stops begin in earnest. He ran the first one without even slowing down. I was a little surprised, but I didn't press the issue because there was no one there. Then we got to the first high-traffic 4-way stop, and he barely slowed down at that one, too. Again, we had the right of way, so I wasn't too concerned.

When he cut off a left-turning minivan at the next one, I knew I had a problem on my hands. I stopped everyone else and waved the van through, mouthing "Sorry, sorry" as clearly as I could. Then we caught up with FDM, and this shit continued for the next several stop signs. Thankfully, most of them were car-free, so I decided to save my tactful correction for the next major intersection. I did have to pick up my pace to make sure I could keep an eye on him, though...I felt like I was chasing a hyperactive 2-year-old. At the next high-traffic 4-way, I broke out the stern Mom-voice. "We need to STOP!!! at this intersection, even if there's nothing coming. It's too busy."

To his credit, he called back, "You're the boss," and did make a complete stop. Unfortunately, that was the last one. I didn't know what to do. Dude was a menace, and he was just enough faster than me that I couldn't catch up enough to stop him before it was too late. Then by the time we got to the next rest stop, I didn't want to seem like a jerk by calling him out in front of everyone else.

The weirdest thing about it? I think he actually believed that he had the right of way, as long as the cars saw him. He made a comment later in the ride (as he was violating the right-of-way of a Lexus driver, who responded with an unpleasant hand gesture as I waved him through), to the effect that "see, if you wave at them to get their attention, they'll let you go through". Well, YEAH, but that doesn't mean they LIKE it, or that you're RIGHT. It's like "borrowing" your neighbor's lawnmower by walking over and stealing it out of his garage while he's sitting on the porch. The first couple times, he might nod and let it slide. After a while, though, he'll probably start locking his garage. And I wouldn't count on being invited to his next BBQ.

I mean, the guy was nice enough aside from that, but by the end of the ride I was beyond irritated. I doubt that he'll come back to this ride--he's too fast for it, really. If he does, though, I'm gonna have to have a come-to-Jesus with him beforehand if he's going to ride with us again. Drivers around here are pretty tolerant of bicycles when we ride courteously, but all it takes are a few cyclists like FDM to ruin it. There are already enough jerks who think we should get off the road...no need to reinforce that perception.

Joe lies...Joe LIES, when he cries...*

Noah's going to be a brother!

Unfortunately, not on this side of the family. His Wisconsin father's (let's call him...Joe) wife is pregnant. He called me about it this morning. They've been married for 10 years, and trying to conceive for about as long as we have (probably longer), so I want to be totally happy for them.

But, you know.

Other than the obvious (and very well-tread 'round here) trying-to-conceive jealousy, I haven't quite sorted out what my emotions are on it, really. I mean, I never really dated the guy, in the official sense. We were both in college at the time, and what we had was more of a hook-up than a relationship. He'd stop by every few weeks, we'd talk a little bit, things happened. This was what I thought I needed when I was 19--I had just come out of the same sucky relationship twice, and I was in a sort of "down with love" place emotionally. I thought a casual hook-up was just what I needed--no strings attached, right? And it did work okay for about 3 months, and then whoops! Baby drama. Lots of it, complete with yelling and denials worthy of a bad soap opera. Noah was two months old before Joe even acknowledged paternity, and that was after his mom found the child support papers hidden under his bed.

In the intervening years, our relationship has moved on to a more friendly place. Once he accepted that he was a father, he settled into a routine of occasional visits and the minimum child support required by law. Then I graduated, moved to Texas, and we maintained a sort of uneasy acquaintance until the first time Robert and I were going to get married. Without getting into too many details, his refusal to give up parental rights so that Rob could adopt Noah, and my reaction to his refusal, caused the end of the first engagement and the start a really bad (but mercifully short) episode in my life. It turned out for the best, and Rob and I got engaged again 2 years later, but there are still some hard feelings over the fatherhood issue. I don't talk to Joe much anymore, but he calls Noah every once in a while, sends presents on his birthday, and sees him every time we come to WI. Noah calls both Rob and him "Dad", depending on whom he's talking to at the time. It's not the ideal situation, but it's what we've got at the moment.

I really am happy for them. I am. But it's hard for me to keep from being just a little bit resentful. My pregnancy experience with Joe was fraught with drama and pain. Hers, I think, will be very different. As well it should be...they're a good match, since she's level-headed and responsible enough for both of them. I certainly never wanted to marry the guy, and she's stuck with him far longer than I thought she would. I guess they really do love each other, and hey--babies rule! It seems like Joe's growing up, finally, and maybe having a full-time kid will make him better with his part-time kid. Or maybe his full-time kid will make it easier for him to release his part-time kid to be adopted by his full-time dad. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.

*Yet another Say Anything reference.

My new love of podcasts, and a grammar gripe

Late to the party as usual, I discovered the joys of podcast subscriptions this week. It started with a search for NPR Driveway Moments on iTunes, and ended with 5 new subscriptions: Driveway Moments, The Diner, This American Life, 60-Second Science (I'm sort of a geek, not sure if you could tell), and Grammar Girl (I am a geek-of-all-trades). These five subscriptions should ensure that each of my commutes is a learning experience.

So, in the spirit of Grammar Girl...

(pedantic grammar rant)

I got an email newsletter from an online retailer today. In this newsletter, there was a section for reviews, which was basically a bunch of quotes about their products from various websites or emails they had received. One of the quotes in the email stuck in my craw.

"I was very surprised at how well I looked in this top!"

Really? The top improved your vision?! That's amazing! Or do you mean your searching skills? That's even better--maybe if I buy one, I'll be able to find my keys! Here, let me grab my credit card!

This is the kind of grammar mistake that bugs me most--it's a classic over proper-ization. We have been drilled from elementary school onward that you don't do something good, you do it well. Sally is a good skiier/Sally skis well. Rob is a good typist/Rob types like a fucking maniac(i.e., well). Good is the adjective, well is the adverb. Simple enough. However, because of all these years of drilling, people think it's never okay to use good after a verb, even when it is grammatically correct.

So, why is well the wrong word for that quote? So glad you asked! It all comes down to clarity.

"I was very surprised at how well I looked in this top!"

I was never an English major, so I don't know enough technical grammar words to be able to get all "tense" this and "mood" that. Most of my grammar knowledge comes from reading a lot (a LOT), and a love of words. The best way I can think to describe this sentence is that it's sort of a backhanded construction. Instead of acting upon the object like a normal verb, the verb actually acts upon the subject (I think this might be passive or reflexive tense, but that doesn't really change the good/well issue, and I'm both too lazy and too far away from my grammar books to look it up)(Yes, I own grammar books.)(Many). Therefore, the well describes herself, not the quality of her looking. This makes the modifier an adjective, and therefore a good. Using well in this sentence probably made it seem more proper, but actually changed the meaning of the sentence. Reading it literally, the well modifies the looked. Putting the last part of the sentence into a more active example like the skiing and typing ones above, it would be "I looked well in this top/I was a good looker in this top." So, instead of looking hot on her, the top improved her vision and/or searching skills.

The possible exception to this would be if she were saying that the top made her look less sickly, in which case well would be totally fine. I'm not sure that would have made such a good review, though.

My peeve with this particular grammar mistake isn't that the writer makes it. I'll be the first to admit that I commit egregious crimes against good writing on a daily basis, mostly on this site. This mistake bugs me not because it's wrong, but because of the likely reason for doing it. People don't use well instead of good because it sounds better to them. They use it because it sounds more proper. They use it because decades of schooling and memorization say that well is the word you use after the verb if you want to sound smart. Because they're afraid that someone is going to jump all up in their shit because they used the common, trashy good instead of the more intellectual well. Whether the reasons are insecure or snobbish, it's hardly ever used because the author likes it better.

(/pedantic grammar rant)

UPDATE: In looking for sources to back me up, the rules I can find list sensory verbs (taste, smell, sound, feel, and yes--look) as the exception to the good/well rule. This one (scroll down to the blue "Good versus Well" section) also mentions linking verbs, but most stick strictly to the senses. So there you have it--my longer explanation, as usual, is just a bunch of needless words. :)

sorry, sorry

I sort of dropped off the face of the earth for a few days--sorry about that. I'm planning to have some music up after work today, to make up for the missed Friday. I spent the day making three trips to Walmart (three different Walmarts, actually), getting beat up by my trainer, and reading at Starbucks*. I had intended to clean all day in preparation for Noah's birthday party (which went well, though it felt like there were 18 kids in the house instead of just 5--oy), but it didn't quite work out that way. If not for Rob's last minute trip to the store Saturday morning for things like party favors and a cake, all would have been lost. If procrastination were a sport, I'd be an Olympian.

*The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay may be the best book I've ever read. It's certainly the best one I've read in a few years. Man.

duct tape mechanic

During the delirium right before my ride-induced coma on Sunday, I asked Rob to bring my bike in from the car. Right before I fell into oblivion, he came in, outraged.

"Why do you have duct tape on your bike?"
"It keeps--"
"You can't have duct tape on your bike! With the 9 billion dollars we have spent on your cycling,"--He's as prone to exaggeration as I am...it's more like $2 billion, tops--"you cannot have duct tape hanging off your bike."
"It's not hanging off, it's more wrapped around."
"No. Duct. Tape. It's like a kid with tape on his glasses. Just get new glasses."
"So I should get a new bike?"
"No!"

I'm sure we would have continued in this vein, and in fact we may have, but I sort of lost consciousness.

So why do I have duct tape on my bike? Lemme 'splain.

About a year ago, I replaced my purloined (from Rob) black Cannondale saddle bag with a Timbuk2 pink saddle bag. This was mainly because the Cannondale was too small to hold my speed lever, but also because--pink!

In this year, I have been going through shorts at a dismaying rate. The Timbuk2 bag has a velcro strap that wraps around the seat post to secure it to the bike. This velcro strap has a hard edge which, if not positioned just so, eventually and painfully rubs a hole in every single pair of my cycling shorts. Since my preferred shorts go for $90/pair (though I only buy them on sale for $70 or less), this is bad.

After ruining a new pair in just two rides, I decided that I couldn't go on like this. Getting a new saddlebag would be the most obvious option, and was in fact the first thing I thought of. Upon shopping for a new one, though, I discovered two things: a) pink saddlebags are hard to find, and b) nearly all saddlebags, pink or otherwise, have a velcro seatpost closure. After a few days of considering, I decided on the #1 solution for do-it-yourselfers everywhere...

Duct tape.

I tore off two 4-inch strips and carefully covered the front of the offending velcro strap. About 100-120 miles later, I think I can safely say that this has done the trick. Except that it offends my husband.

Maybe electrical tape would be better?

noooooooooo!

I was perfectly, blissfully happy with my green Nano purchase, right up till the moment I saw this. Red! Curse my early-adopting ways!

Also, happy birthday to my son, who turns 12 today! Also to Sue, who turns, um, a year older. A lady shouldn't reveal such things, especially not about another lady. :)

all's quiet on the western front...

...and mostly for the reasons you think.

I have some emotional shit going on right now. Part of it is that it's TOM week, and that TOM actually arrived, which means that the conception clock is once again set to zero. Since we've just passed every possible due date I could have had with the Elephant, it's also related to that.

It sounds stupid and illogical, but I was so hoping that we would be able to conceive again before the end of the ill-fated pregnancy term. It wouldn't really be a replacement for the one we lost, but at least it could seem like that baby died to make way for the next one. I'm sure that would have generated a whole new batch of Issues, but at least they would be new . I've been dealing with this same bitter crap sneaking up on me for 8 months, and it would be refreshing to have some sort of closure on it. Especially since I'm sure everyone here (all 3 of you! Hah!) is sick to death of hearing about it. How long can she mope over one freaking miscarriage, right? It lasted 8 weeks, hardly even a pregnancy. Sigh.

So anyway, I'm starting to worry that my body chemistry's a little off, too. I'm gaining weight, energy's low, probably a bit depressed. I've still been working out almost every day, and raked in somewhere around 40 activity points this week. My food point averages were in the low 40s (1800-2200 calories), which is not at all where it should be if I'm really on-plan. Still, I'd hoped all the activity would balance it out, and it hasn't. I'm up 1.5, as of this morning.

Something must be done, I'm just not sure which direction to go with it. The obvious first step is to cut back the calories, and that's the first thing on my list. Beyond that, though, I've been torn between going low-carb for a little while, adding weight training, seeing a doctor, doing 1000-1200 calories for 28 days again...or hell, maybe all those things. I also considered personal training. The gym has a Biggest Loser promotion going on right now, so I'm considering that, too. The one thing I DON'T need to do is sit around considering for weeks on end. Lord knows, considering has never taken an ounce off my ass.

So, here's what I'm going to do:

1. Quit eating so damned much. Under 35 points, every day. That's still 9 points above my officially sanctioned WW target, but we're talking baby steps here.
2. Try to stay away from white food. Not exactly low-carb, but a step in that direction--no pasta, no rice, no potatoes. White flour and sugar kept to a minimum. Low-fat milk is okay, but whipped cream is not.
3. Five fruit/veggie servings a day. I don't have anything against fruit and vegetables...I like them. (Well, a lot of them...not crazy about squash or grapefruit) I'm just more likely to go for a fast starch than a high-maintenance vegetable. I generally average about 2-3 servings a day, so I'm only a couple apples (or bananas, or cups of broccoli) away from this goal.
4. Bike commute once a week. This is getting harder to do, since days are getting shorter and the weather has been a little bit crappy. Tomorrow's supposed to be nice, though, so I think that's going to be my day for this week.
5. Go talk to someone at the gym about that Biggest Loser thing. It's a good deal. It can't hurt. I just need to figure out how to fit it into my schedule for the next 6 weeks.
6. Work out every day. This one's easy. If I walk the track during lunch, bike commute one day, have a PT session another day, and club rides on Saturday and Sunday, it's covered. (Though if you had told me 4 years ago that this would be the easy part, I would have laughed myself silly)
7. Don't sabotage myself. I have a tendency to make things harder for myself, or to do something totally stupid as soon as I start to see results. I'm going to try to not do that.
8. Have patience, live in the present. With the weight loss, with the trying-to-conceive, with everything else. This too shall pass, and all that shit. I've spent so much time wishing I was further along, or somewhere else, or back where I was a year ago, that I don't spend enough time doing the things that will get me there.

So, that's pretty much it. All but the last two are measurable, so I intend to put up progress reports on the same day as my weigh-ins. Since the first one of those is tomorrow, I won't really have much to report this week. I'll think of something, though.

bullets

Time for a bulleted list, since I have a bunch of stuff rattling around in my brain and feel too lazy to make it into something halfway cohesive.

• -A friend called me yesterday to let me know that a mutual friend had her baby--a little girl. I guess she thought I'd want to know, and I suppose I did...but as she was telling me this, all I could think was that this woman's due date was after what mine would have been. I feigned interest for as long as I could stand it, then abruptly changed the subject. I wish I could just get over it, already. Most of the time I think I have, but then something like this comes along and it's like March all over again. Fuck.
• I recently discovered my new iPod's stopwatch function. Not only will it keep lap times, but it will save the info for each workout so I can keep track of my progress. I've been playing with it on my last couple walks, and I think I've mostly got the lap function down. This will be super handy when I start running again.
• Speaking of running again, I ordered some shoes the other day. I've started to have problems with the outer part of my foot when I walk in my current shoes, so I thought maybe they're going end-of-life on me. These are the most expensive pair of running shoes I've ever bought, even after shopping around for the best possible deal ($60 + shipping from foot locker via Amazon, after applying for credit to get the initial purchase discount).

  I don't know when I intend to start running again, but I've been reading and researching it. I want to lose 5-10 lbs before I start, and also get my fitness level up to the point that I can walk 3 miles in 50 minutes while keeping my heart rate below 130. I figure that until I can do that, I don't have a prayer of running in an aerobic HR zone. I don't plan to be militant about HR again, but I don't want to run myself into the ground and quit, either.

  My plan for now is to walk 3 miles during my lunch hour every day, unless I bike to work. Once I can do that under 50 minutes and 130 bpm, I'll throw some running in there. This plan has the joint benefits of earning work fitness points and keeping me away from Mexican restaurants as well.

• We bought the Stick It DVD last week, and after watching it a couple times this weekend, I completely fell in love with the soundtrack. So I downloaded it, and added 14 new songs to my workout playlist. Guess what FMF is going to be about this week?
• My rides this weekend were faster than usual. One of the regulars from my group branched off and formed an ultra-beginner ride, which left me with only the faster members of my core group. The last couple weeks, we have been sustaining 15 mph without having to wait for anyone at the regroups (well, except for me, last week). This week, I also rode with the Sunday club ride, which I haven't done since last year. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I arrived at the starting place 10 minutes after everyone had left. Since that wasn't a huge disadvantage and I knew the route, I took off at commute pace (not a sprint, but not leisurely, either) and hit a shortcut to catch them. I did end up catching the tail end of the 30 milers on the last loop, and I came back in with them. My average for that one was 15.6 mph. So this weekend, I rode 42 miles with a 15.3 mph(-ish) average. It's progressing.
• Because the car I got in the trade this past week has no aux port, I had to dig out my other iPod and the FM transmitter after not using it for a few days. As if sulking about being replaced by a thinner, prettier iPod, it started refusing to play the songs I asked for. It would play some songs, but if I selected others, it would skip over them like they didn't exist. It played audiobooks fine, but music playlists were hit-or-miss. Finally, this morning, I hit on the commonality between all the songs it wouldn't play--they were all iTunes downloads. A google search, knowledge base article, and reauthorization later, all the songs play again. Audrey and I have reconciled...just in time to get my car back and relegate her to backup status again.
• My latest batch of booksfree books included A Confederacy of Dunces. It was recommended by a co-worker and won a Pulitzer, so I feel like I should give it a go. However, I'm having some trouble with the main character. As in, I hate him. Really, lip-curling-in-disgust-ingly cannot stand Ignatius Reilly. I understand it's a farce, and he's meant to be repulsive, but I'm not sure that I can stand to read another however-many pages about him. I spent most of the first chapter hoping he'd get hit by a bus, and the rest of the book would be about just how every life he touched was better without his selfish, repugnant ass. Maybe he gets more tolerable in chapter two. If he doesn't develop a redeeming quality by chapter 5, I'm done.

  This is like The Shipping News all over again. I really wanted to like that, too. Does the Pulitzer committee have a requirement that at least one of the primary characters be completely unlikeable? I guess not, since Gilead was pretty good. Though, now that I think about it, the friend's son was an asshole. But he was at least a likeable asshole.

  Sigh. Maybe I should just stop trying to read "good" fiction. Or I could hope that The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay (on its way now) is good enough to redeem the entire Pulitzer list for me. With an assist from To Kill a Mockingbird, which I loved.

• I've been tired and moody for the past week or so, and craving bland, warm, comfort food. I had french fries on Saturday, grilled cheese & tomato soup yesterday, and today I'm thinking mashed potatoes. I think this trend, along with the weepiness and this scatterbrained post, can be explained in just three letters.
Posted by Joy at 11:17 AM | Comments(1) |

minivan supply must be getting low 'round here...

In the past week, I've had requests from two co-workers to trade cars for a few days. Considering that this is two more than I had in my previous 6 years of employment here, it's a little weird.

I do wish the 2nd guy had called first, though...I could have played with one of these for the weekend.

Then again, where would I have put my bike in that thing? :)

Sometimes, I wish I had a book titled "What NOT to Do: Home Ec for Idiots"

Chapter 12 would be titled "Garbage Disposals are not Magical".

I love my garbage disposal. I do. It's a lifesaver for making things disappear. Rancid tuna salad, spoiled meat, old fruit, body parts*, leftover grout. However, these things do have their limits, as I have discovered time and again. For instance, uncooked asparagus can jam the blades. And if you're going to dispose of an entire pan of lasagna, for GOD'S SAKE divide it into sections, or you will be there all day. Keep running the water for several minutes after dumping the grout, or it will stick to everything down there. And of course, my most recent discovery--if you pour four cups of oversoaked black beans down your disposal, you're going to CLOG THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

Unfortunately, I always make these discoveries by trial and error. Today's fiasco started off fine...the first clump of beans went down and passed through, but when I stuffed the second clump through the rubber trap, things got ugly. Blades were whirring, black bean pieces were swirling, but water was not draining. I did what any clueless homeowner would do--I shrugged, made sure the blades weren't jammed, ran it some more, then gave up and started the dishwasher. It would drain on its own, and I could plunge it later.

Trouble was, the dishwasher's drainage system routes through the same pipe as the garbage disposal. So, after a few minutes, I passed by again and stared in horror as the water level in the clogged sink began to rise. Since I was in the middle of shining the other side of the sink, there was nowhere for the water to go except onto the freshly-sealed tile floor. Panicked, I grabbed the mop bucket and a piece of tupperware, and started bailing water out of the sink like it was a sinking ship. Two bucketfuls later, I realized that I could just turn off the dishwasher. Crisis averted!

After a quick diagnostic session with the Insinkerator Disposer Doctor, I followed its recommendations by plunging the drain with two different plungers. When this didn't work, I even went one round with professional strength Liquid Plumber. The beans, they are indestructible and immovable, and they are winning. The only thing I really accomplished is the ruination of a perfectly good shirt. I'm now contemplating whether or not I should try to take the pipe apart myself, or just admit defeat and call a plumber. I think I'm going to take door #2.

God, I feel like one of those 50s sitcom husbands. Though I bet their first step was never to google "how to fix a garbage disposal".

*Not really. Well, not human, anyway.

Stay tuned.

Well, the tile is laid. The grout awaits, because our knees need time to recover. I think either tonight or sometime tomorrow, because this living on takeout is getting old. I want my stove back!

The tiling process went pretty well, and we were lucky enough to avoid cutting tiles in a lot of places we thought we would have to. Even in places we did have to cut tiles, we were able to use the scraps from those cuts to fill in other places. We only broke one tile, and since it was supposed to go around the pantry doorframe, we were still able to use it. So, pretty much a success. Pictures will be forthcoming, just as soon as I find our real camera. My camera phone works, but I can't seem to send the pictures anywhere. Since my cell phone is work-supplied, I think it's because they disable that feature. (I wish I had known that before I took the pictures, but what can you do?)

The weather's finally cooling off, I think, which is nice. I rode about 15 miles last night with a girl from my Saturday ride. There was supposed to be a bigger group, but it rained most of the day and I think that discouraged some. It was dry by the time we got out, though, and in the low 70s. Can't wait until it's like that all the time--temp went down 20 degrees, my average speed got nearly 2 mph faster. Imagine what will happen when it's in the 50s in the mornings. :)

I considered going to the WW meeting today, since I went to the Wednesday noon last week, but I just didn't like that leader much. I think I'm going to go tomorrow at noon, to the facility that's a little closer to work. Chances are good that the leader will be different, and since I have unlimited meetings w/monthly pass, I can always try the Friday noon meeting as well. I figure if I go to enough meetings, I'll find a good leader eventually, right? Besides which, I'm only down a pound today, so I'm hoping to make the loss a little bigger by giving it an extra day. That, and I wore a sweater today, so that's going to throw off my weigh-in. Gotta take every advantage, you know.

I never did make it to posting music last week, though I had good intentions (you know what they say about those). Friday before a holiday weekend, million projects needing to be tied up, and all that jazz. I think I'm going to scrape some songs together this afternoon. I don't have any O artists (I thought for sure I'd have some Otis Redding, but no), so I'm just going to post some random stuff that's been catching my fancy lately. Because my CD burner at work is still half-broken (will play, burns coasters), I'll need to wait until I get home. Right now, I think I'm going to try to get a ride in over what's left of my lunch hour, since I've still got my bike & stuff in the car.

tile-r-iffic

Well, I didn't lay tile this weekend after all. I scraped glue. Tile will hopefully be going down next weekend, provided that I can commit to a damned color. I'm torn between charcoal/slate grey and a sort of neutral bone-beige color. And since I have no intention of ever replacing the floor again, it's a very permanent decision.

I also won't have much in the way of before and after pictures, because I forgot to take the befores until most of the original floor was already torn up. So I've got one camera-phone picture of a big pile of hardwood in an extremely dusty, messy kitchen, but that's about it. :) I'll post that tomorrow, along with an "after" of our new dining room (last weekend's project). I'd post them now, but I left my stupid phone at the house.

In other news, my club ride has been growing these past couple weeks. I'm not sure if it's because word finally got out to beginners, or because the weather has gotten cooler, but I've had nearly a dozen people on the last couple rides. I love the bigger group, but it is harder in some ways. For one thing, we're having to stop more in order to keep us all together, since I have yet to make a map (another thing I need to do this week). If it continues at this size, I may need to recruit a co-leader so that one of us can sweep the stragglers.

I also have trouble figuring out when it's better to slow down and wait for slower riders and when it's better to keep pace with the faster ones. I'm afraid that if I slow it down too much, the faster people will get bored and not come back. Then again, if I go too fast, I run the risk of losing the people that this ride is supposed to cater to--the beginners. In fact, it was this dilemma that caused me to lose my middle group this week for about 5 miles. They missed a turn, but were far enough back from the front group that I didn't see it. I pulled the front group over to regroup at about the 8-mile marker, but only the slow group arrived. I started to freak out a little, because the missing group included a couple who had just moved here a month ago. Even after determining which turn they missed, I had no idea where to go looking for them--it was at least a couple miles back, and we had been waiting at the regroup point for at least 5 minutes. Our only course was to keep going and hope that we met up with them later...they knew where the next rest stop was, and they did have one long-time resident with them. When we did meet up with them again, it was only by sheer luck...they happened to approach an intersection on the route at the exact moment we were passing by. They were good sports about the whole thing, but I'll be surprised if they come back anytime soon.

Anyway, the next club meeting is coming up next week, so I may have to go and ask for volunteers then. Or one of the new guys this week did say that he'd be willing to help, so maybe that's an option. We'll see, I guess.

Another problem I have, which is getting pretty serious, is hydration. I can't seem to get enough water. Even with two big (24 to 32-oz) bottles in the cages, I'm running out of water and still getting overheated and dehydrated on a 20-mile ride. It used to be, even last summer, that I could get by easily on 2 bottles for 20 miles, and sometimes I'd only need one. It's frustrating as hell, not to mention unpleasant--nausea, chills...no fun. This week was better than last, but only because I slowed way down toward the end and then downed a liter of water immediately after the ride. I think I'm going to have to dig out a camelbak in addition to the water bottles next week...I know we have one around the house somewhere. I hate the rubbery taste of the bite valve, but it beats throwing up or passing out.

I'm also getting back on track today with the eating...sort of. I had a packet of oatmeal for breakfast, sliced an apple and portioned peanut butter for a snack later in the day (then left it on the counter :P). I did make my coffee stop, though, which puts me at 7 points for the day so far. I'm planning to have a salad with salmon for lunch, and chicken for dinner, so hopefully I'll end up somewhere around target points for the day. I also plan to work out this afternoon, so it should be a pretty good day, so long as I don't get stupid when the afternoon munchies kick in. If I can start off the week on a good note, maybe I can keep it up through the whole week.

I decided to check again for WW meetings, this time near my work zip code. There is a WW center about 2 miles from my office, and they have noon meetings a couple times per week. I'm considering checking out the Friday one next week and signing up for Monthly Pass, provided that there are no mitigating factors. I figure I'll know by then.

Update

Well, WW is going okay. I didn't count points on the weekend, but a combination of drinking enough water, eating less calories, and impending TOM caused me to drop 5 lbs in 4 days. Of course, less than perfect hydration tactics on my long ride on Saturday made me gain 3 of them back by this morning, but we take the good with the bad. I'm confident that they'll be gone again by Friday, and that's all that really matters.

Thursday, as I mentioned, was a 33 point day, and Friday was 31. Since I biked to work, though, my activity points offset the food enough to only use one flexpoint. Saturday, I don't know how it came out...I know I had around 14 activity points (APs), but also that I probably used them all at breakfast. Considering that I only ate one other meal that day (even if it WAS a cheeseburger...but with a salad!), I think I came out okay for the day overall. Sunday, well...I grazed. The second cheese sandwich was a bad idea, and so was slamming a liter of water at 2 pm when I was totally dying of thirst, instead of drinking steadily all day long. Still, I'm betting that I stayed pretty well on track for the weekend too, all things considered.

Today, on the other hand...started off well. The 5:30 spin class earned me 8 APs before breakfast, which was 6 points including the mid-morning latte*. Then I went and shot it all to hell with fajitas for lunch. I think I'm going to be fine, though...I still have 6 APs to swap before I start digging into my weekly flex. It's early yet, but I'm beginning to think that it might be possible to end this week with flexpoints left over. That would rule.

I don't know why, but I'm surprised that it's been this easy to get back to counting points. It was a constant struggle to eat less when I was trying to count calories, but something about the points thing keeps me under control. Maybe it's just that I had reached that critical point where I was ready to really DO something instead of just pretending and half-assing. Or maybe it is worth the $17/month for me. I haven't had much luck doing it any other way, that's for sure. You still won't see me in a meeting anytime soon, though.

Anyway, moving on to other subjects, I did try to do a longer ride on Saturday. Well, I guess I didn't TRY to...I ended up going just under 44 miles. However, it was ALL I COULD DO to go those last two. I don't know what's wrong with me. Granted, it was hot, and I was still recovering from a really bad sunburn (a souvenir from last weekend's road trip to Schlitterbahn), but it's beginning to irritate me that I can't go long distances worth a damn anymore. I'm signed up for the 60-mile Tour de Pink again this year, and I'd really like to finish with a better time than last year. At the rate I'm going, they're going to have to SAG me in from mile 45. I know that I have trouble with drinking enough fluids, but I went through 4 24-oz bottles on Saturday in 3 1/2 hours. I would have thought that would be enough to keep the chills and lightheadedness at bay for 44 damn miles--apparently not. Sigh. I guess I can blame my yankee blood. :) Can't take that TX heat. The good news is, the weather should be (better be) cooler by mid-September.

*1 c. hot oat bran cereal w/brown sugar and a little milk: 2.5
1 c. strawberries: 0.5
grande nonfat latte: 3

*innocent whistling*

Disappear? Who, me? But I've been here all along! :)

Believe it or not, I'm still recovering from my business trip. I haven't felt like myself for two weeks, and it's starting to get to me. I've worked out a little, but haven't made much of an effort otherwise. I've gained a pound, and consider myself lucky. Same ol' song and dance, basically.

I'm struggling to get back on track this week, trying to decide how I'm going to approach this, since what I was/am doing is obviously not working. If I don't take charge pretty soon, I'm going to break the 200 barrier again...I'm only 2 lbs away, actually. Once again, it's time to get serious. I'm just not really sure how yet.

On the other hand, Rob's lost nearly 40 lbs, after some initial scary drama with the Rice Diet. Go Rob!

my weekend, among other things

First off, totally spaced on Free Music Friday last week. I had a doctor appt in the afternoon, and was rushing in the morning to get everything finished up before I left work. So, I've put my FMF links from last week at the end of this post--call it Music Monday, if you want. :)

UPDATE: Links gone.

Also in the extended entry:

-How I Spent $800 in less than 4 hours, and have nothing to show for it
-Milestones
-Century Recap

Spending More for Less

As I mentioned before, I reached such a level of frustration with our clutter problem that I called a junk service to come pick up our stuff. Despite having eight days and the best of intentions, I only really started sorting the junk somewhere around...oh, Friday night. We did a little bit of book sorting on Wednesday, but didn't really move anything heavy until the last possible minute. I'm a born procrastinator. I don't know why I thought this would be any different than any other major project I've undertaken...hope springs eternal, I guess.

There was some drama on Saturday morning, when the guys called and said they would be arriving early. I was still at my club ride (I had 2 riders this week! Yay!), so I hopped in the van and drove home as fast as I could. I made it in plenty of time, as the truck didn't come until close to the scheduled time (11:00-2:00).

By the shocked looks on their faces (and the muttered, "think happy thoughts" one of them thought I didn't hear), I don't think they were expecting the sheer volume of crap they were faced with. I wasn't expecting the smallness of their truck, so we were all a little concerned. After getting over the initial shock, they assured me that they could fit most of our junk in the truck. They proceeded to quote me a price so high that I nearly passed out, but not so high that I would send them away empty. They were there, and I wanted it gone. Spare no expense.

I agreed to the price, and they loaded our crap on their truck very efficiently. In about 30 minutes, a few years' worth of accumulated clutter was swept away. I felt 100% better. It may have cost all of my discretionary income for the next 4 months, but it was worth it. (Well, NEARLY worth it. It still pains me a little.)

Giddy from all the garage space and their early arrival, I set off to pick up my ride packet at the bike shop across town. About 2 miles from my destination, I looked down at the clock in the car, then at my cell phone. The display said "1:00 Eye Appt" OH MY GOD. It was 12:49, and I was halfway across town.

How could I have forgotten?! I was looking forward to the appointment, because I've been meaning to get prescription sunglasses for cycling. They called to remind me about it Friday, I had filled out medical history forms online for it, I had even set a fucking reminder on my cell phone for 12:30 (I was in Starbucks when it went off). I am the world's biggest flake.

I called the office, explained my situation, and they said to come over anyway. I made it about 30 minutes late, apologizing profusely. They were very nice about it, and I was in to see the doctor in no time. My prescription changed a little (I thought so--I've been cleaning my glasses more lately, which is usually a sign that things are starting to get fuzzy), so I ended up buying glasses AND sunglasses. After ordering everything, I walked out empty-handed and a few hundred dollars poorer.

So between the junk pickup and the eyewear, I spent about $800, and won't have anything to show for it until Friday, at least. Sigh.

Some July Milestones

Wednesday, my youngest brother will celebrate his first birthday. Happy birthday, Ben...wish I could be there!

On Thursday, Amelia will have her first birthday. I'm hoping that she'll have somewhere around 2200 miles on the odometer by then. I'm just two commutes away...

Today--almost exactly now, in fact--it will be 22 years since the first time my life fell apart (I really need to do something with that site--at least get the pictures working again). My mom passed away on July 17, 1984...12 days before her 35th birthday. I'm only 2 years younger than she was then, and my son's just about the age my oldest brother was at the time. I look at Noah, at how much he still needs me, and I can't imagine how agonizing it must have been for her to leave the four of us behind. I think of her less as time goes on, but I miss her as much as ever.

Ain't Too Proud to SAG

As you may have guessed from the title (which I shamelessly stole from a TE forum post a while back), I didn't finish the century.

I started out pretty well. Since they had started the ride in waves of 100-200 riders, I didn't get past the start line until 7:30 or so. I was following my plan, fighting the urge to keep up with the faster riders. I was averaging about 16-17 mph, heart rate staying comfortably in the 130s. To make up for the late start, I skipped the first rest stop at 13 miles, and stayed at a comfortable pace until the second stop (23 mi). I was having some issues with my water bottle...I bought a new kind the day before the race, and hadn't really gotten the hang of the bite valve. Before I parked at the rest stop, I had only made it through about 1/4 of the 24 oz. bottle. I drank the rest of it at the rest stop, refilled it with ice and water, and switched its position to the back cage, moving the standard bottle to the front. I also ate some fruit and trail mix, and sat in the shade to call Rob. At this point, all was well...my legs felt fine, my HR was staying in the high 130s-low 140s, the roads were hot but smooth. I hit the portajohn and got back on the bike after about 5 minutes. When I reached the decision point turn-off between the 60 and 100-mile routes, I confidently chose the 100.

About 10 minutes later, I hit some of the worst pavement in the history of the universe. It was one of those roads--I'm not sure what the technical term is, I think possibly "chip-seal". You know, where "pavement" = "a bunch of pebbles held together with tar and maybe smoothed with a paint roller". As if that weren't bad enough, this was also an old road in a rural area. There were some places where it was more patch than pavement. Sometimes, it was actually nice, because the patch material was generally smoother than the road. Finding the best line was a chore, though, and it was shaking poor Amelia to pieces. Navigating the rough pavement took its toll on me, too--by the time I hit the 3rd rest stop, it was all I could do to my HR out of the 160s. Conversely, my average speed had gone from 14.9 mph for the 1st hour, to 14.7 for the 2nd hour, down to 14.4 at the rest stop. I was working harder to go slower, basically.

The rough pavement continued, off and on, through mile 45 or so. At the 44-mile rest stop (which I was praying to see from about mile 38 onward), I was down to 14.2 mph and fighting to stay out of the 170s. The time was 10:48, and the temperature was well above 90 degrees. The route had very little shade, and the road was starting to get those wavy heat lines coming up from it. Somewhere around mile 45, a buzzard came out of the woods to look at me. Since I was alone on the road, I yelled at him, "You're too early! I'm good for at least another 10 miles!"

By mile 48, I had given up on staying out of the 170s, concentrating instead on trying not to get eaten by the HUGE DOG that was running alongside me. As it turned out, he just wanted to race...he didn't even bark, just kept pace for a little while and then cut in front, circling back to his yard. (Yes, he won.)

By mile 50, I knew I was in trouble. I couldn't get over 13.5 mph or under 170 bpm to save my life, and I was starting to get chills. When I got to the I-10 overpass, I nearly wept at the thought of that little incline. (I think I know now how Noah felt in Austin.) I'm pretty sure I hit my max HR there, but I was too intent on staying upright on the coast down the other side to check to see what it was. :)

What seemed like hours later(actual time: about 10 minutes), I finally arrived at the 54-mile rest stop. It was almost noon, over 95 degrees, my heart rate would not come down out of the high 170s, and my average speed for the ride was down to 14.1 mph. As I coasted into the parking lot, I assessed my situation:

1. I had been on the road over 4 hours.
2. I was losing speed at an average of .1-.2 mph.
3. My HR was climbing at a rate of about 10 bpm/hr.
4. The temperature would not peak for another 2 hours, at least.
5. I had covered just over half of the total distance, with 13 miles between me and the 2 pm shutdown at mile 67.

Factoring all these things together, my addled (and now achy) brain figured that I could probably make it to the 67-mile stop before 2 pm, but I'd be going barely 13 mph, my HR would be redlining up in the 190s, and the road would feel hotter than the 7th pit of hell. The rest stop volunteer greeted me as I rode in, "So, how are you doing?"

"Not so good...I think I'm gonna SAG it from here."
"You've made it 54 miles!"
"Yeah, but I'm starting to get chills. I'm pretty sure that's not healthy."
"No, that's not healthy."

I walked over to the nearest shaded bench, dismounted, and finished off a water bottle before calling Rob. I gave him the condensed version, and he was nice about it. On his direction, I filled my water bottle again, ate some fruit and pretzels, and tried not to move. The greeter volunteer came over and told me that a SAG truck was on the way, so he would flag him down for me.

While I waited, I watched my HR monitor. My seated HR was now down to around 115-120 bpm, which was okay. However, I noticed that shortly after I moved my arm to check my watch, it jumped to 135. I stood up--145. I sat down--138. Arm out to the right--147. Walk to the food table and back--163! Yep, definitely time to throw in the towel.

The truck arrived, and the SAG volunteer was very nice. He loaded my bike on top and gave me some bottled water and ice. While he was doing that, we were joined by a girl on a mountain bike with a knee problem. He loaded her bike, and we all piled into the truck to pick up someone waiting at rest stop #6. After loading 4 more road bikes and a tandem, we were full--4 women in the air-conditioned cab with the driver, 2 men in the back with the bikes. (The tandem riders rode in a different truck.) I was starting to feel better, both mentally and physically. The riders we picked up at #6 were all in the same situation I was--overheated and maybe dehydrated. The heat got the best of all of us, and I didn't feel nearly as wussified now that I was not the only one quitting. We chatted, passed the time, compared stats, and a short and pleasant ride later, we were back at the start. Because my bike was in the middle on the roof rack, it was the last one off. The driver commented, "First one in, last one off...sorry to keep you waiting."

"Well, considering that it would have taken me another 4 hours to finish the course, I don't mind waiting. I'm just glad you were there."

He laughed, "Yeah, I guess that's true. What's another minute, right?"

"Yep, I'm actually ahead of schedule--take your time!"

He handed me my bike, I thanked him again, then rode (sloooooowly) over to my van. I loaded the bike, changed clothes, called home, then drove back to the house.

I stopped for a burger on the way home. Even though I didn't finish the ride, I totally earned it.

Music!

If you made it this far, I salute you! (Even if you just scrolled--that thar's a long way down.) Today's music is brought to you by the letters H & I.

Texas Women - Hank Williams, Jr.

Oh, Goddamnit - Hot Hot Heat

Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls

Each Coming Night - Iron & Wine

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Iz

Right-click, save-as, enjoy!

home!

I'm home! As lovely as Boston was, it's good to be back. It'll be even better once I'm unpacked and the laundry's done. :)

I took some pictures on the trip, but they're currently trapped in one of those disposable cameras. If the digital pictures that my co-worker took are any indication, I'm going to look totally hideous in the ones I was in. Thankfully, since I was the photographer for most of the roll, that's not many. I'll post the ones I like...eventually.

Oh, and when I stepped on the scale this morning, I had lost half a pound. I guess all that walking counteracted all the eating. Woo-hoo! Guiltless cannoli (and pizza, and beer, and bagels, and pasta, and chowder, and....)!

walking, reading, eating...and now sleeping

So...after being in the city for two days, I'm mostly in love with Boston. I'm not putting too much stock in this infatuation, though, because I felt the same way about New Orleans when I was there for a conference (also on a company's dime). When I went back there for a vacation a year later, it lost its magic. I'd definitely like to come back here again, though.

I love business trips, especially by myself. I don't usually see anything noteworthy, but I love the feeling of being dropped into a strange city where I don't know a soul and having to fend for myself for 5 days (with an expense account and a kickass hotel room). It appeals to my solitary nature and sense of adventure, I think, without the bother and personal expense normally associated with traveling alone. I feel bolder, too...I think I've started up more conversations and introduced myself to more people in the past two days than I have in the past two years. It's like I can pretend to be a different person...one who can make small talk, and isn't a timid spaz who mumbles incoherently and gets off the elevator on the wrong floor just because the doors opened. (Though I still do those things.) It also helps that this is an IT conference...I may still be a geek, but I'm hardly ever the biggest geek in the room. It's a nice confidence-booster.

Anyway...Boston. I have been walking my ass off over here, and loving (almost) every minute of it. It's been perfect walking weather, and the conference center is only a 20-30 minute walk from my hotel. I only take the conference shuttles if the bus happens to be sitting right outside the door when I walk out of the hotel, which has been twice. It takes about the same amount of time to ride the bus as it does to walk, and I like the flexibility of being able to stop for stuff on the way. Once I'm at the conference, I walk from one session to another. Then I walk to the expo hall. Then back to sessions, lunch, sessions, back to the hotel, out to dinner...etc. Add that to my walk to breakfast and around the Common and public garden in the morning, and it's a lot of hoofing for this girl. I wish I had brought a pedometer...I bet I've racked up 10-15 miles since Sunday. My calves tell me all about it when I wake up in the morning, too.

In the times I'm not walking or conferencing, I'm reading The Portion Teller. I'm not sure how to feel about it yet. I think sometimes the author is a bit too eager to sensationalize how portions have grown since the 80s, even though some of the statistics there are pretty amazing. The tone has a bit of a "shame on us!" vibe to it that is sort of off-putting. There are some good points made, though--people are terrible at estimating calories, tend to eat in units, and will serve/eat a bigger portion from a bigger container. The visuals to estimate serving/portion sizes are really useful, and the diet plan based on the food pyramid seems sound. I'm holding off on a decision until after I've finished the book, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to try to base my next eating plan on it. Seems like something I could live with, so far.

Well, I'd write more, but I'm fried. I've got an easy day tomorrow, though, so maybe I'll have more to say then.

I flew all the way to Boston...

...and boy, are my arms tired! *rimshot*

The flights were both smooth, and the view coming into Boston over the ocean was pretty cool. The landing was a little rough, but nothing too serious. Catching a cab from the airport was not as bad as I feared it would be. I was in town for all of 5 minutes before I started thanking my lucky stars that I didn't rent a car. I would have been in a constant state of mortal terror as soon as I got out of the tunnel. Not that the driver's are bad here, really...it's more that the roads are so narrow and there are no right angles on anything. I get lost looking out the window.

That said, I can see the common from my hotel room, so I was able to find my way over there this afternoon without much trouble. I spent about half an hour wandering around, trying to decide if it was worth eating before heading over to the conference. (It was.) I was lucky enough to catch the shuttle to the convention center as I was walking back to the hotel, and got registered and everything. Made it through about half of the keynote speech before my 4:30 wake-up call this morning started to catch up with me, so I ducked out and started to walk back to the hotel. I wasn't sure which way it was, really, so I was just planning to wing it after crossing the water (the one part of the route I did know). It's only a mile--how lost could I get, right?

Well, I didn't get to find out. About the time I got to the corner, I got a call from some coworkers who were also at the conference, so I walked back to meet them and took the shuttle. I did look it up on the map once I was back at the hotel, though, and I'm totally walking it tomorrow. I only have to make two turns between here and there...I think I can do that faster than waiting for the shuttle, and get back without anyone having to send out a search-and-rescue party for me. :)

Anyway, I'm pretty wiped out now, ready to do a faceplant on the keyboard any second. I just logged on to look up the places that y'all suggested as places to go, now that I've seen the place and have some context to go by. G'night!

dappled and drowsy and ready for sleep

This was one of those days when I so did not want to get out of bed in the morning. I think part of it was that I got up really early yesterday to do the 5:30 spin class, and then didn't go to bed until 10:30 last night(despite being a total crabass from about 8:00 on). I set my alarm for 6:15 this morning so that I could bike to work, but knew the second I opened my eyes that it just was not going to happen. I drove my car to work....as it turns out, for the last time!

No, I didn't get fired. I'm getting a new car. :) I had a message waiting for me at work today that said it was ready for pickup. Rob is taking over my car, and we're selling his car to his mom.

I never thought I would be this excited about a minivan, but I totally am. I've owned nothing but small cars my whole life, and I'm really looking forward to the cargo space. Noah's looking forward to the DVD player. Both will be very nice to have when we drive to Austin in 2 weeks--I'm so glad that we'll be able to store the bikes in the car overnight, rather than having to haul them into the hotel room.

In other news, my life's looking pretty busy the next few weeks. There's Boston next week, Austin the last weekend in June (and despite buying markers and stickers and whatnot, I still am no closer to a suitable assault race route than I was a few weeks ago--time to get crackin' on that), Wisconsin the week after that, the Katy century two weeks later, and another business trip the week after that. Add in a new work project starting up sometime in the next month, the training/commuting needed to make sure I survive the century, keeping up the club ride (which no one showed up for last week, alas...though I try to tell myself that it was more coincidence than a direct result of getting lost last time), doctor appointments, and all the other crap that always needs to be done, posting may be lighter than usual. Fridays may be just about it for a while, until life dies down.

On the weight front, I'm the same as last week--194.5. I'm starting to get a little concerned about that...I'm not dieting, per se, but I'm not eating myself out of house and home, either. You'd think that with upwards of 6 hours of exercise per week, I could do better than a maintain. Sigh.

the best laid plans of mice and men...

Well, it doesn't look like I'm going to be doing the 60-mile charity ride next weekend after all. Instead of being on a bike Sunday morning, I'll be on a plane.

NOTE: Updated.

One of my coworkers was scheduled and paid to go to a conference in Boston, but then he had some health issues and decided not to go. So, we're in the process of switching the registration to my name. It's short notice and everything, but I'm kind of excited about it. I've never been to Boston, and going for a conference is almost like being a tourist. I just need to go to some seminars (some of which even look like they'll be good for my job), and souvenirs will be 90% corporate swag. And everything's free! Well, to me, anyway. :)

So, since my plane leaves at 7:00 am, the metric in Hempstead is off. The charity still gets my registration fee, which is fine, and I think I'm going to try to do a longer ride after/around my club ride Saturday morning to make up the lost miles. Anything over 45 miles still wipes me out, so I seriously need to work on my distances if I intend to do the "real" century in July.

UPDATE: Oh, and does anyone have any suggestions for things to check out while I'm in Boston? I have a full day of sessions planned for Thursday, but the rest of the week has big chunks of free time between/after sessions. Some of that time will be spent hoarding swag, but you can only fill so many hours (and bags) with that stuff.

My hotel is half a mile from Boston Common, so I thought I might walk the Freedom Trail one day if it's not raining and reasonably safe for a woman traveling alone. The conference has a thing at Fenway Park on Thursday night, but I'm not sure I'll go. Anywhere else within safe walking distance, or a short/cheap ride away? Dinner restaurant ideas are also appreciated. :)

blood test results

Two months and 13 days after I gave up on our poor, doomed elephant, my beta hcg levels are back down to normal. I should be happy, I guess, but honestly? I'm disappointed. I guess I didn't realize how much I was hoping the nurse would tell me I'm pregnant again, until she didn't. Instead, I'm normal. Fat, irregular, and maybe a bit depressed, but normal.

"Fine either way", "we've got time"...it's all bullshit, really. More than anything, I want to be pregnant again as soon as possible. And ideally before October, because then I can tell myself that at least one good effing thing came out of all that pain. I'll still miss the baby that wasn't, but at least I could tell myself that it was lost to make way for the baby that is, you know? It's a weak sort of logic, and one that's bound to have me sobbing into my cheerios by November, but it's what I've got.

In the meantime, I throw myself into other things. Cycling. Reading. Buying things. Working. Summer vacation planning. Nothing involving children under the age of four. Most of the time, I can convince myself I'm over it. That I've moved on to the better and brighter, that I'm happy with my life just the way it is. And then a nurse calls to cheerily announce that my hcg is back down to zero, and I want to reach through the phone and punch her in the face.

Such is life, I guess.

call me crabass

This seems to be an ongoing theme around here, but I am in the mother of all bad moods today. I couldn't sleep very well last night, woke up with an earache, had one pair of clean pants, wanted to call in sick but didn't because we're already shortstaffed. In other words, waaaaaaaah.

The club ride on Saturday went fine. I got to the start area, and it looked like the whole damned race team was there. As it turns out, they were--for their team training ride, which starts at the same place, same time. So I felt like an idiot, standing around with a bunch of cyclists in full gear who probably shave their legs more often than I do. :) They took off a little before 8:00, and then my people started to straggle in. There ended up being five of us, only one a true beginner. The route was mostly fine, but I have to revamp it again. Some of the left turns are too dangerous in a group. I've got a new route planned that I think is going to work better, but I'm not relishing the thought of recreating the printed maps. I'm not exactly the queen of photoshop, so it took me 3 hours Friday night to get the first one the way I wanted it. I can't even use the same file, because it's a scan of the map with the old route already marked. Sigh. I suspect the task will seem less daunting on a day when I don't hate everything and everybody, so I'll just save it for later in the week.

Nothing else really noteworthy. Took Noah to the pool Saturday afternoon, finished Lucky. It was okay, as memoirs go. I tried to start Jarhead, but the guy's attitude turned me off in the first few pages, so I decided to return it without reading. On Sunday, I slept in, then we went and saw Over the Hedge (better than Ice Age 2, but not great). After we got home, I loaded Amelia onto the car and took her in for a tuneup, a new chain, and a handlebar rewrap. I was tempted to ask about having 40cm handlebars put on while they were going to be wrapping anyway, but I decided I'm not ready to spend the money right now. I think having narrower handlebars might help with the shoulder/neck pain I've been having on the longer rides, but I'm not sure the difference will be significant enough to warrant the cost. I'm also considering upgrading to a different bike when I hit 5000 miles (1760ish right now), so I hate to invest too much into this one. At any rate, I'm down to just the commuter bike till Friday, which is fine.

Weight-wise, I have been stepping on the scale, but not recording anything. Let's just say that these numbers could be contributing to my bad mood, and leave it at that. :)

quick, but not necessarily brief, update

I haven't really felt like posting lately, but it's not for lack of things to say. I'm just going through one of those phases where I think I'm really boring, and don't want to subject others to my boring dorkiness. It's not that I feel bad about having a boring life, necessarily...it just doesn't seem worth writing about. You know?

So anyway, here are the highlights:

-Hit a wasp on my commute home last Thursday, and boy was he PISSED. Bounced off the handlebars and onto my right thigh, where he exacted his revenge before dying. I nearly did an endo over the curb trying to brush him off, and had an angry red welt on my leg for nearly 3 days. Stupid wasp.

-Finally started A Million Little Pieces and HATED it. I got two pages in, then put it back in the return envelope. It's a darn shame, too, because I really wanted to read it, just to see what all the hoopla was about. However, his writing style annoyed the crap out of me. The present tense was bad enough, but the thing that really pushed me over the edge was the Pointless capitalization of ordinary Words. Ugh.

-Mother's Day was good. We went to lunch with Rob's mom, then she took Noah to the pool, so I had some time to take the commuter to the bike shop to install a rear rack and a different computer. The installation was going to take a couple hours, so I walked over to Barnes & Noble to spend my mother's day present. Picked up a journal (I'm a forgetful shopper, so I'm using that one just for keeping track of things I want/need to buy), an LED book light, Case Histories, 102 Minutes, Queen Bees & Wannabes, and two books for Noah--Hardy Boys #1 and Wayside School is Falling Down. He isn't a big reader, so we're hoping to get him interested in a series of books this summer.

-My club ride starts this Saturday. I'm still pretty nervous about leading it...what if I make an ass of myself? This past Saturday, I rode the route I'm going to use, and it's mostly fine. There are a couple of left turns I'm not crazy about, but it was still the best 20-mile loop I could find around town. I also decided to ride to the starting place, which added another 18 miles to my total distance. With the times that I took a wrong turn/tried out an alternate road and then doubled back, my total ride was just over 44 miles. I'm going to try very hard to make the club ride a recovery for me. I've been really neglecting the long, easy workouts lately...I like to get out there and hammer away every time I'm on the bike, and it's not doing much to improve my endurance. It is making my thighs stronger, which would be good if I was also losing fat, but I'm not so much. So it's just making my pants tighter. Aargh.

-I tried a little running on the track Monday. It went fine...ran a total of about 7 minutes (two songs, with two walking songs between). My legs felt really heavy on the second interval, and I'm still paying for it today with some hip soreness. My knees feel fine, though, so that's good. I wasn't wearing the HR monitor, but I'm sure my heart rate was ridiculously high. That's going to need more work, but I think I'm going to wait until the fall before I run again.

-I signed up for the Katy Flatland century in July, and also a metric out of Hempstead the second Sunday in June. I figured that'd be a good way to gauge how far out of century shape I am, with a month's training left to go. Last year's Tour de Pink was out of the same location, and the course is not too bad. I'm hoping to have a faster time on this ride in June than I did last September.

-My (hopefully) last blood draw for hcg testing is going to be this afternoon. The last one had me at 21, so the doctor wanted to wait a few weeks before testing again, since those last 25 seem to take the longest to go down. I've waited about a month, so I think it's time. I'm torn between hoping it's down to zero, and fantasizing that they'll tell me I'm pregnant again. I haven't had a period since the miscarriage, so anything's possible. I'll be fine either way. We've got time.

links and such

Here's some of what I've been up to lately...

I signed up for this, the family race (Noah is my teammate). Then I booked a hotel room and bought a laminated map of Austin, stickers, and some dry erase markers. I am too excited. :)

I saw this. It fell short of the Bring It On quality I was hoping for, but it was cute. And, it may just be because I'm a raging ball of hormones this week, but I cried through the last 15 minutes or so.

I finished this and bought this. I also reread this and decided not to finish this. Finally got this from booksfree, haven't started it yet. This and this are on their way, so I'd better hurry up. Booksfree isn't the best service ever, but one of the nice things about it is that I can feel free to send a book back without finishing if it doesn't live up to my expectations. I can also take some chances that I wouldn't normally, because I'm not really spending any money. Like, for instance, I never would have bought the Sheila Levine book if I had seen it in the bookstore, but I did enjoy reading it when it was delivered to my mailbox. Light on Snow and Crow Lake were the same way.

Speaking of seeing things at bookstores, I almost bought this the other day. Ultimately, I decided that I wasn't in the mood to spend $24 on a diet book that I was sure I could get on amazon for cheaper, so I may still pick it up online. I liked Eat, Drink and Be Healthy, and a diet plan based on that sounds like something I could get into.

Let's see...what else? Oh, the shoes worked out fine, though they're a little too big and slip a bit on my heel when I walk. I can walk in them, though, which is an improvement over my road shoes. The jerseys are now some of my favorites...the cut of the short-sleeved one is very similar to my Zoic Wildcats (that link goes to Performance Bike, a vendor I don't recommend unless you enjoy waiting 2 weeks for shipping), and the sleeveless fits well, also (the purple is very pretty...though darker than I'd like for my commute). The fabric feels odd...heavy and smooth, texture kind of reminds me of neoprene foam, but not as thick. I was afraid it wouldn't breathe very well, but it's as good as any of my more airy-feeling jersey fabrics. I liked them so much, I ordered two more.

I haven't done much in the way of exercise since last week's commute. My right knee has been giving me trouble lately, I think because of cleat position on my spinning shoes, or maybe that the Frogs have too much float. Whatever the reason, it got to the point last week where I had to put a cold pack on it at night so I could sleep. I decided to take some time off the bike, let it rest and heal a bit. I did walk today for 30 minutes, and I plan to commute tomorrow.

And speaking of commutes, I'm toying with the idea of buying a bike just for commuting. Amelia isn't equipped to attach a rear rack, and I think I'd like the capability to carry stuff on the bike even if I don't always do it. My hybrid's just too heavy (35-40 lbs) to commute, since I'm driving partway and hefting the bike onto the trunk rack twice a day. I guess that's one way to gain upper body strength, but I'd rather just use a lighter bike. So I started looking for a good used bike for the commute, and have a couple I'm going to go look at...one tonight, in fact. It's a Marin Fairfax, which gets pretty good reviews, and it comes with a ton of accessories (odometer, light, and much, much more!). The only thing I'm a little worried about is that it's the 13" frame, which may be a bit small for me. The other one I'm looking at tomorrow is a Specialized Sirrus. This guy doesn't know what size frame it is, but said he's 5'11" with a 30" inseam. I'm 5'4" with a 29-30" inseam, so it could be okay. Or the reach could be ridiculously long, hard to say at this point. Neither of them has ever been ridden, and both of them are selling for the same price. The components are comparable, so it's going to come down to fit. I'd rather have the Marin because it comes with more stuff I want, but there's a chance it might just be too teeny. We'll see.

fear not!

Free Music Friday is on its way later today--I have an all-afternoon meeting, and I haven't had time this morning to convert the songs I want to post. I suppose I could find something else that I already have in mp3, but nothing's really jumping out at me.

So, early evening.

Other than that, not a whole lot going on. Despite a sort of crazy work schedule this week, I did manage to make it to two 24Cycle classes. Neither of them were with the good instructor...the universe has conspired against me every time I've tried to make it to hers. First time, I was sitting in the ER (everything's fine) past the class time, and the next one I had worked till 9:00 the night before, and 5:30 just came way too early. But I'll get 'er next week.

On the bike commute situation, I've driven the bike routes to and from work during rush hour a couple times now, and I think the 11-mile one is going to be just about perfect both ways. There are two busy roads to negotiate, but all the turning intersections have lights, and one of the roads has a sidewalk that I can ride instead of the road for the entire time I'm on it (a block or two). So the only place I'm going to be riding in lines-of-cars traffic is a little block-long dogleg between two lights...turn left at one, then right at the other. I may get yelled at, but dude...it's 30 seconds. Deal. I'm planning to ride it for the first time on Tuesday. The weather looks like it's going to cooperate, too. Now, if I can just remember to bring clothes to the office on Monday...:)

better, and 0vcon is the debbil

Posting is probably still going to be sporadic for a while, but I'm back. I'm not exactly all sunshine and kittens, but I'm not bursting into tears three times a day and avoiding pregnant women either, so it's progressing. Part of the improvement is that I finally clued into the fact that the high-dose BC pill (0vCon-50)that I was taking to stop the bleeding was making me a) bloated, b) nauseated, and c)depressed. Not only that, but it gave me a rash and didn't actually stop the bleeding...in fact, I'm pretty sure it made it worse. So, I stopped taking it a couple days ago, and have felt 100% better. I'm still bleeding, but it's getting lighter now, at least. I'm telling you--fertility issues aside, if I never have a period again, it will be too soon. Three weeks of this is about 2 1/2 weeks too many.

So anyway...on to other things. I did manage to drop a pound this week, which is encouraging. I unofficially dropped another one this morning, too. At this rate, I'll be down another 7 lbs by my next weigh-in!

Well no, I don't really think that, but it'd be a nice change. I'd really like to be able to envision a future where my waistband doesn't cut off the circulation to my feet. I mean, one which doesn't also include buying new pants.

okay, maybe once

As always happens when I say that I'm not going to post for a while, I decided to go ahead and post a little bit.

First, thanks for the comments on the last post. I'm going to be closing comments there today...not because they aren't appreciated, but because it's just too hard. Sympathy's a funny thing...it's comforting to know that people care about you, but there comes a point where each look or comment or email or phone call is just ripping the scab off the wound. For that same reason, I'm pulling all the elephant posts back to draft status. I don't regret writing them, but I can't stand to look at them.

I'm a little scared about the D&C, honestly. The procedure itself I'm totally okay with--it's time to move on, and this is the quickest and cleanest way to do it. The general anesthesia is what makes me nervous. I've only been put completely under one time, when I had a tonsilectomy in the 8th grade. I don't like that feeling of just losing a chunk of time. And then there are my control/trust issues. What if something goes wrong and I don't wake up? I know it's unlikely, but I still feel like I'm completely at the mercy of someone else's competence for a couple hours. I've never been good in that sort of situation. One of the reasons for my love/hate relationship with flying, also.

Anyway, this concludes the pregnancy portion of this website. At least until the next one, which hopefully will have a happier ending.

In other news, I've got a busy weekend ahead. Unless the recovery is worse than I think it will be, I still plan to do the Continental Classic Saturday morning. I'm not going to break any land speed records, but I love that route and it'll be nice to get out there on the bike. Time to think, take in the scenery, etc. Then we're going to Cirque du Soleil that night, and leaving for San Antonio Sunday morning after church (provided the travel company sends me a &#%^! confirmation on our reservation). Noah's spring break is next week, so we're taking a few days vacation--Sea World, Six Flags, Riverwalk, Alamo. We were planning it before all the drama, but this makes me all the more glad to be getting away for a few days.

I'm also reconsidering my ride schedule for this year. Depending on how the next couple rides go, I'm thinking of putting Shiner BASH back on the schedule for May, and the Subaru Urban Assault Race is definitely back on for June. I'm tentatively shooting for a century at the Katy Flatland in July, and will probably close out the year with a handful of 40 to 60-milers. That's really my favorite distance...I just want to do one century, so that I can cross that off my list.

As for my weight-loss plans going forward, I'm sticking to calorie counting and exercise right now. I really don't feel like doing WW meetings, and I don't want to pay $15/month to count points online, either. I've already got Fitday, so I'm going to start making it work for me again. Currently, I'm trying to stay around 1500-1800 calories a day, not really worrying about nutrition much. One thing at a time. I set an intermediate goal in Fitday of 170 by July 4th, but I have a feeling that my reach may exceed my grasp on that one. I haven't lost over a pound a week since 2003. My slacking lately should give me a little bit of an advantage at first, but it won't carry through for months unless I really stay focused. I'm going to give it my best shot, though...

the weekend

This weekend was pretty good, fitness-wise. I only biked 36 miles, because it rained Sunday and we had planned to go to church anyway. The first part of Saturday's ride had a wretched headwind and I sort of lost momentum on the way back, so I only averaged around 13 mph. I suspect it's going to be like that for a while.

Life-wise, this was one of the best weekends in recent memory. But for various reasons, I can't talk about that yet. :)

getting my mojo back

First of all, thanks for the birthday wishes!

Today is my last day off before going back to work. I'm a little sad because I didn't do ANYTHING productive yesterday, which means that all the unpacking and laundry and stuff needs to be done today. I also want to get some exercise in today, and I promised Noah that I would eat lunch with him at school. So, in other words, I really don't have time for this post.

I'm really trying to "get my mojo back", as Jarrod said. In fact, I'm sitting here in full cycling gear, with every intention of heading out to the bike right after this post is done. Right now, I think I'm going to put her on the back of the car and drive to the Exxon to start, avoiding the Road With No Shoulder. It's fine on weekends, but at 9:00 on a weekday there still may be some straggling commuters. I'm not planning on a very long ride...maybe 16-20 miles, just to ease back into the swing of things. I had planned to do the club ride on Sunday, but decided on Saturday night, when I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my face out of my dinner, that maybe getting up at 7:30 and biking 30 miles wasn't such a great plan. Best to start slow and fully rested, I think.

As for food...I've eaten a lot of chips, and not really a whole lot else. I'm afraid that the rumor that I sat on the couch for an hour and plowed through half a bag of Ruffles and a tub of french onion dip yesterday, until I felt sick to my stomach and thoroughly disgusted with myself? Sad but true. Today is better, though there were still chips involved. It was only a few, and they were counterbalanced by a banana.

Bottom line is, I'm still sort of wingin' it over here, but I'm slowly nudging myself back to the path of healthy eating and regular exercise. Rob and I even have a little challenge going to see who can lose 10 lbs first. Eventually, I'm going to come up with a more formal plan, and I'll probably be going back to WW meetings (after all, I'm still prepaid for 5 more of them) in the near future.

UPDATE: Okay, so I only went 10 1/2 miles. I decided to stay in the neighborhood, and all the stopping, starting, and turning around makes a long ride less fun. I gotta tell you, though, it felt really good to be back on the bike again. :)

P.S. Rob--I stumbled onto Noah & Tommy's route to the convenience store. It's a real road, low traffic, very safe. It's only about 5 miles, round-trip.

back and off again...

Well, we made it back from Wisconsin, and I'm off to NY/NJ (working in NY, staying in NJ) in the morning. I'm hoping to maybe, possibly have some time to post from the hotel or something, but there's no guarantee. If not, I'll be back with a vengeance on Sunday...which just so happens to be my *cough*32nd*cough* birthday and the 3rd anniversary of this site. (It is the 3rd anniversary, right? If I started in 2003? I've counted 3 times and I still can't quite work it out. I'm very, very tired.)

Have I stepped anywhere near a scale in the past 2 weeks? No, I have not. But I'm almost positive that my net loss for 2005 is actually a gain. Ergo, I'm not exactly raring to step on the bathroom beastie anytime soon.

Since now is really the time to do the new year's resolutions, I suppose I'll do those (since I'm waiting for the jeans to come out of the laundry so I can pack them before I go to bed). So, in order of importance:

1. Get pregnant.
2. Do a triathlon.
3. Bike a real century.
4. Get to my goal weight.

Some of these, depending on the timing, are mutually exclusive. I suppose if I really buckled down, I could get pregnant AND hit goal in the same year, but really, what are the odds? And if I'm extremely pregnant by the time century season rolls around, that's probably not going to happen either. So, now that I think about it, I guess it's only #1 that's exclusive. If I achieve #1, the rest of them probably won't happen. If I don't make #1 this year, I think 2-4 are totally doable. I'd be okay either way.

I'll have more stuff about the vacation, mini goals, new plans, probably some pictures, and whatever else later on in the week, provided that my business trip goes as well as I hope it will.

See you Sunday!

vacation, all I ever wanted

Just a forewarning...it's going to be quiet around here for the rest of the month. The rest of my life has swallowed me whole.

Without getting into too many work-related details, there is a major thing coming up the first week of January that's going to require a lot of prep work and some travel. To make things even more stressful, my flight for that leaves the day after our return flight from the Wisconsin trip, so all the prep work needs to be done before I leave for vacation next week. Add Christmas shopping, hosting an 8-guest Christmas dinner this Sunday (and now with no table, since the one I ordered 4 MONTHS AGO just now arrived with a huge gouge in the tabletop and they can't replace it till next week at the earliest...more on that once I know whether there will be a satisfactory resolution), some sort of allergy-related ailment that makes it impossible to take a deep breath without contortions and extreme concentration, and the usual day-to-day crap, and the stress level? It is high.

Weight loss and its associated tasks are very low on my list of priorities right now. That said, I'm holding steady at 180ish, after ballooning up to 184 last week during December Puffiness Season (recurring monthly). I'm also trying to keep up at least 60 miles/week on the bike, even when it was freezing-ass cold last weekend. I also plan to hit the 5:30 am cycling class at the gym tomorrow morning, provided I can make myself get up that early.

So, in summary...I've got a lot of stuff going on, so posting will be light through the end of the year. I plan to return with a renewed passion somewhere around this site's 3rd anniversary (1/8/06). In the meantime, that picture I mentioned a few posts ago:

I still like it better than the official pose, but it looked better on the little LCD screen on the back of the camera. There's a bit more cleavage than I remember, and I totally was as drunk as I look. You can credit that dazed expression to the magical refilling wine glass in the lower left corner of the shot. :)

Merry Christmas!

10 degrees and getting colder...

well, no....not really. It's more like 34 and getting warmer, but that's not the point.

The point is that it's in the 30s with a 10-20 mph wind, in Houston, where I have lived for 8 years and therefore lost all ability to tolerate temperatures below 30 degrees without incessant whining. Even though I have been inside for roughly 5 hours straight, I am still freezing. FREEZING, I say. Almost makes me wish I had my 30+ extra lbs of insulation back.

I seriously can't imagine how I survived 24 entire Wisconsin winters.

notes

So, here's what I've been up to the last few days, in no particular order:

-2 30-minute cycling classes at ass-thirty in the morning, which I've actually been enjoying quite a bit, even though it requires that I get up 2 hours earlier than normal.

-watching Noah sing a solo in his 5th grade Christmas er, Winter program, which was AWESOME.

-Taking a sick day yesterday to stay home with Noah, who had a sore throat that looked serious in the morning, but made a marked improvement once I suggested that we might have to see a doctor.

-Finally cleaning the kitchen and living room, which had nearly reached 3rd degree squalor. It's always amazing to me how much calmer and at home I feel once the public areas of our house are presentable, and how little time it takes to get them there. I let it build up a little at a time until it looks like an enormous job, then I put it off for weeks. But when I finally break down and do the cleaning, I'm done in less than an hour. Sigh. Someday I'll learn. 30 minutes a day, that's what my grandma says. She's generally right about such things.

-Christmas shopping, though precious little of it. I've got part of Noah's stuff bought, and I sent off the gift for my dad, girlfriend, and baby Ben. Hopefully it will get there...I'm always paranoid that things won't be shipped, and doubly so when I'm not sending them to my own house. This box would have been too big to carry on the plane, though, so it had to be done this way. I'll call them in a week, make sure they got it.

-Gaining weight. Not a lot, but not an insignificant amount. My pants are getting tighter, I'm feeling softer. I think there's been an increase in back fat, though that may just be my imagination/guilty conscience.

-Getting goaded into a conditional commitment to do a triathlon in April (see comments). I am the weakest link.

-Trying to come up with a plan to stop gaining weight...still a work in progress.

coming soon

it's been a long time, eh?

I've started to post a few times (though the food logs were embarrassingly short-lived...my heart was not in it) about various things, but got sidetracked by work, or errands, or other things. I've actually got a long post with office holiday party pictures that I intend to post this afternoon. Since this year's party is tomorrow night, the post sort of loses relevance after that. So that's coming.

In other news, I've been reading a lot lately. Well, a lot for me. I have a booksfree subscription (I would highly recommend them, except that their shipping is agonizingly slow. Still, beats my past book-buying and/or library late fees) that I haven't been using to its full potential, so I've been making up for lost time.

In the past month, I've sent back The Giver, A Separate Peace, Odd Thomas, and From a Buick 8. My reviews, in order: pretty good, eh, engaging characters but an unsatisfying climax, and so bad I didn't even finish it. I also read Slow Burn and Bleachers, which didn't come from booksfree. Slow Burn had some good info, but I didn't buy into his muscle-organ relationship hoo-hah. Bleachers was alright...I'm not a huge John Grisham fan, and his non-legal books sort of fall flat for me. I HATED Skipping Christmas, for instance. If I wasn't reading it for a book club, I would have chucked it immediately. I just finished Hey Nostradamus (good), and I'm currently slogging through Summer Sisters. I don't know if I'm going to finish it or not. I don't like Judy Blume's adult fiction much, but this one was recommended on some blog I read a while back, so I decided to check it out. Cut the number of pages devoted to puberty and sexual references in half, I might find it easier to get through. I mean, it's not pr0n or anything, but she still seems inordinately obsessed with breasts, periods and m@sturbation. And I've only made it through 10 chapters.

Next is The Deep End of the Ocean, hopefully followed by A Million Little Pieces. I put it at the top of my queue before the last shipment, but they skipped right over it. The hell? The listing said it was available. Whatever. After that are Zombies of the Gene Pool and Bimbos of the Death Sun, which will complete my Sharyn McCrumb reading list. I really liked her Ballad novels (except for Ghost Riders, which put me to sleep..I sent it back after 2 chapters), but the Elizabeth MacPherson series was a disappointment. The girl got on my nerves by the 4th book. I'm hoping this little Elizabeth-free series will be a fun read. But who knows? Worst case, I send them both back after the first few pages and get Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and A Short History of Nearly Everything.

Anyway. Back to weight loss. I've actually lost a little this week, though nothing jaw-dropping. I'm expecting around 180-181 at the WW meeting tonight, but I never really know what that scale is going to do. I'd be fine with a maintain, or even a tiny gain. The only thing I really, REALLY don't want is to be over 182.6, which would give me a negative weight loss for my 7 weeks of meetings. I'm pretty sure that's not going to be an issue.

After the meeting I need to go buy some shoes and a low-back halter bra, in preparation for the party tomorrow night. I had excellent luck finding formalwear this year, and it's actually my most flattering ensemble yet. Of course, as you'll see (again) in the next post, these party photographers don't ever capture my good side.

battle plan

So...this week starts the holiday season around here. From the way I've been eating, you'd think that it started about 3 weeks ago.

I've been giving my plan some thought, trying to decide if I want to lose in the next 4-5 weeks, or just to hold steady. In past years, I've sort of taken a vacation from weight loss for the last month of the year, and gained anywhere from 5 to 8 lbs. I thought about continuing with this plan for another year, and then ran into the problem: At my current weight, I've only lost 5 lbs. this year. If I gain over 5 lbs, I'll have a negative loss stat for 2005. Not acceptable.

So, I've decided to try to lose. I'm not going to be ridiculous and say that I want to lose 10 lbs by the end of the year or anything, because we're ending the year with a 10-day vacation and I'm not stupid. However, I am setting a loss goal--I want to end 2005 with a bigger loss than I had in 2004. This means that from right this minute, I would need to lose over 1 lb through the holiday season.

I think I can do that, recent weeks' experience aside. If I'm honest with myself, I haven't really been trying lately. WW Flex is not working for me. Actually, I shouldn't say that...it would work if I followed it. I guess a better way to put it is that it doesn't suit me. Core is a challenge, but it's better suited to my lifestyle and activity level. I need to get back to concentrating on what I'm eating and paying attention to what my body needs v. what sounds good right this minute and whether it will take me over points. Because honestly? I don't give a shit if I go over points right now, and I think that's the biggest problem between me and Flex. If there's no rule saying I shouldn't eat the cookie, I'm going to eat the damned cookie, and then I'm going to eat another one, and the fact that these things have got a little number attached to them really doesn't enter into the decision. It's only afterward that I add it up and think "damn...maybe having 3 cookies was unwise."

So, Core. I could go with non-WW plans also, of course, but I'd likely end up with a low-GI carb, whole food type thing anyway, and Core is close enough to that. May as well stick with the WW, since I'm prepaid for 5-6 more meetings anyway.

I'd also like to get back to riding my bike 3-5 times/week, rather than the 1-2 I'm doing now. Walking and/or running would be a good thing also. The time I felt and looked best this year was when I was doing the century training and walking 3 times/week. I wasn't losing much weight, but I felt better and looked better than I do now. It's time to get back to that.

At least 1 more pound gone by the end of this year. That is my holiday goal.

insert TX weather cliche here

two days ago at 10 am, it was 82 degrees and humid. Today, 50 and crisp. I love November.

Looking ahead to the weekend, there's lows in the 30s and highs in the 60s both days. Since we postponed Ren Fest until this Saturday (Rob was sick last week) and I plan to do the club ride again on Sunday, I'm very excited. I had to break down and buy some long cycling pants, though. Shorts in 40-degree weather? I'm not that hardcore.

I haven't had much to say these last two days. Eating like a healthy person has been a struggle, as I haven't felt like cooking or going out. You know what this leaves? Prepackaged processed crap, that's what. I'm also pretty sure I dehydrated myself on the weekend, and am only just now recovering from that. I've dropped 4 lbs in 3 days, which would be cool if they weren't the 4 lbs of water that I'd hung stubbornly onto since Saturday. Now, I'm pretty much back to my last official weigh-in weight, with a meeting looming tonight. Considering that my daily points average has been somewhere around 35 and I've exercised exactly once since last Friday, outlook is not good.

Speaking of the lack of exercise, it's not for lack of desire...at least, not totally. It's poor planning. I decide to go out to lunch, thinking I'll go to the gym after work. Then by the time I get to the house I'm hungry, and by the time we eat I'm tired, and all the will to gym has gone out of me. I know it's a weak excuse, but it's the only one I've got. Oh, wait--I also can't find my gym card. I have two weak excuses.

Anyway. I do intend to get a walk in today...maybe even a run, if for no other reason than to keep warm. I'm pretty sure I forgot to bring a workout jacket, and that wind looks both gusty and chilly out there. Yet, I must go, because I desperately need the fitness points. I think I have one this month, and I need at least 7 more to stay on track. With only 8 workdays left in November, that's precious little room for procrastination. It also can't hurt my weigh-in prospects...tonight, I'll need all the help I can get.

better

I'm feeling a little better today. Still not back to the obnoxious Pollyanna cheeriness to which you've grown accustomed, but I no longer feel like wallowing in my own groundless misery. I do still feel like sleeping, but I'm pretty sure that's the weather. It's gray out there.

I did skip the WW meeting last night, but I think I am going to try to hit the 7:15 am meeting tomorrow. I'll probably still have a gaining weigh-in, but I'm afraid that if I skip this week entirely, it'll be my first step down the path to quitting altogether.

Speaking of meetings...for those of you who also go to them. Do you ever sometimes sit in those meetings and say to yourself, "Man, I should make lifetime and go work for Weight Watchers. I could totally do a better meeting than this." Then you spend the drive home conducting your own WW meeting, which is in all ways cooler than the one you just endured?

Maybe it's just me.

I mean, I doubt that I'd ever be able to run a WW meeting long-term. I'm just not all that fond of public speaking, and the women would start to bug me after a while. I also have never, ever followed the program to the letter, which makes me unable to fully embrace it as the One True Diet. But I have no doubt that for maybe a couple months, I could totally be the rockin'est leader on the block. :) Or if they had special travelling guest leaders that only did a meeting once a month? I could do that. Of course, there would be more pressure in that case...I'd have to be at the top of my game every time.

Anyway, as I said a few weeks ago, I've still got 30-40 lbs before I even come within a stone's throw of lifetime membership, so all this crap about being a leader is just idle speculation.

So, on to weekend plans. It's going to be a full one, and I'm a little bummed that my riding routine is going to be disrupted. There's a company event tomorrow that's going to eat up most of the day. It starts at 9:30, all the way on the west side of town, so we'll have to leave the house right after my WW meeting in order to get good seating. We'll get back home by 4:00, I think, so I'm hoping that we'll have time for a short neighborhood ride afterward. On Sunday, we've got free tickets to Ren Fest, so we're going to do that. I haven't been to one of those in years...not since I lived in WI and went to the Minnesota one. It's one of those things...I like festivals and fairs, and there are all kinds of them around here, but I hardly ever go to them. I always MEAN to go, but never end up actually making the trip. Shakespeare, crawfish, renaissance...all within an 30 minutes' drive at various times of year, and I haven't been to any of them for at least 3 years. Anyway, the weather should be good, so I'm looking forward to it. However, it also eliminates the possibility of a long Sunday ride, though I'm considering crashing checking out the Sunday club ride that I was talking about last week sometime. It's only 20-25 miles, and starts at 8:00 am. I could be back to the house by 10:00-10:30, and we could still get to ren fest by noon, easily. Traffic is going to suck regardless of when we go, so may as well give it a shot.

As for other workouts, well, they have been sadly lacking. I may try to hit the track this afternoon after lunch, maybe even run a little. I could definitely use the workout points...I only have 11, and the quarter's almost halfway gone. It's also nice weather for it--it always takes me hours to finish a post, since I write in fits and spurts throughout the day, so what used to be gray in the first paragraph is now partly cloudy and low 70s. I haven't been outside since 9:00, but it looks very pleasant. Maybe after my 1:00 meeting. It's about a particularly dull and frustrating project..I'll probably need some fresh air after that one. :)

stuff and things

Well, hello there! I have a presentation to give at 11:00, so I'm mostly just stalling until then.

Halloween went fine...it did rain until about 7:30, but we went out trick or treating anyway. Didn't do the hayride this year, though, which is really just as well. Noah inevitably gets tired and bored by the middle of the ride, and we end up walking all the way across the neighborhood to get back to our car. Not that I mind walking, but if I'm going to end up walking the neighborhood, I'd just as soon start out on foot in the first place.

I ran every other song for my workout yesterday, for about 40 minutes. My HR was off the charts, but it was otherwise fine. The weather was pleasant, in the low 70s, little bit windy. My form doesn't feel right...unless I really concentrate my knees complain at me after 5-6 minutes. There's another P0se clinic in Houston on 11/19 that I'm considering as a refresher course to the one I took last summer. While paying $125 for 5 hours of running drills with 20 strangers 10x more fit than me doesn't exactly thrill me, it'd be nice to pinpoint what I'm doing differently/wrong. I'm also seriously considering just signing up for the 5k on 12/3, readiness be damned. I always work better with a deadline, anyway.

In cycling news, my Frog pedals have STILL not arrived. According to Nashbar, they shipped them last Wednesday by USPS. Since USPS mail is insanely fast around here, I thought for sure they would arrive by the weekend. Yet, here we are a week later, and still no pedals. I think Nashbar's shipping department decided to dress up as Performance Bike for Halloween. (My first order from PB took 2 WEEKS to ship. Charged me $8 for shipping, then sent my < 1-lb package parcel post. The next time, I paid for 2-day shipping and got it in four.)

Also, I have yet to get out for a morning ride since the time change. Oh, I have the best of intentions--set my alarm for 6:00 every day, only to snooze it and sleep till 7:00. It's things like this that are going to be responsible for my underwhelming weight loss this week. That, and some pizza and Halloween candy.

The local cycling club's Sunday beginner/intermediate ride was featured in Bicycling magazine this month. It starts in the shopping center where I always stop for breakfast on my Saturday rides, so I'm considering checking it out next Sunday morning. I've never done a club ride before, and this one runs pretty slow. From what I could gather from their website, the intermediate group is 14-16 mph and the beginner is slower, both with regroups and no drops. The thing that makes me nervous about it is that I don't know the etiquette of joining up with a group ride. The info page says that it's open to "members and guests", but I don't know if that means members and THEIR guests, or just any schmo that shows up at start time. Also, I can't seem to find any info on joining either (that part of their site seems to be down), so until I know the etiquette I know I'm going to feel like a party crasher. But I figure now's a good a time as any, since they've gotten this bit of national publicity and may be more inviting to clueless newbies this month. Or maybe they always are, I don't know. Like I say...never had much to do with clubs, aside from riding in charity events they sponsor. I just know that I'd like to get a little variety into my cycling routine and meet some new people, and a weekly club ride seems like a good way to do that.

Regarding WW, as I alluded to earlier, the weigh-in prospect does not look good. Right now, my morning weigh-ins are holding steady at 176-177, which would likely give me a gain at the evening meeting this week. I'm going to do my best to eat light for the next day and a half, but I think it's a case of too little, too late at this point. Better just set my sights on next week.

new shuffle

Mr. Peanut's replacement arrived yesterday from Apple, so I am now back with the workout shuffle. Yay! After some consideration, I have christened the new one Linus. Welcome, Linus...may you live longer than your predecessor!

Mr. Peanut has been sent off to Apple, where he will no doubt enjoy his next life as...what? Desk ornament? Shredded plastic? Dumpster diver? Where do broken iPods go? (Can they find their way home, back to the open arms, of a love that's waiting theeeeere...)

Whatever...he served me well while he lasted. Godspeed, Peanut.

Hallowhine

I'm sort of tired, hormonally challenged, and very grumpy. I don't want to do the 6th? Annual Drunken Trick-or-Treating Hayride tonight, especially since it's probably going to rain. Yet I must, because Noah is 11 years old, and he's only got one or two years left of this shit. Or at least, the part where he wants me anywhere near him while trick-or-treating. (Or egging cars, or watching horror movies, or begging someone's older sister to buy them beer, or whatever it is that teenage boys do on Halloween these days.)

Yesterday afternoon was a small preview of my future...I took him to get a haircut. We've been getting the same haircut since about 2nd grade, and he's never had an objection to it like some kids do. I take him to the place where the kids can play video games while the stylist is doing her thing, cut it short, and all is well. Usually.

Yesterday, all was NOT well.

Oh, we were fine until the last part of the haircut. She got done with the clippers and was moving on to the bangs, and I made the comment that it looked a little too long on top. I had her take a smaller clipper guard and go over the top again, eliminating the bangs. After that, it looked fine to me, I paid, we left.

In the car, it looked like something was bothering the boy, so I asked him if he liked his haircut. He proceeded to BURST INTO TEARS.

"It's just so short. It doesn't look good to me."
"Why didn't you say something when I told her to cut it shorter?! It's your hair, you can speak up."

Tears. I was at a loss here.

"Honey, I'm sorry. It never even occurred to me that you wouldn't like it. It's the same haircut we always get."
"I liked it the first time she stopped!"
"I didn't know! It looked bushy to me."

More silence from the back seat. Well, except for the sobs.

"Look, I'm sorry, man. It's going to grow back...your hair grows really fast."
"It's just that...well, having your hair really short is cool until the middle of 4th grade, but it's...not..." He dissolved again.

Oh, LORD. Here we go. It's a "cool" thing, then. All aboard for puberty...let the shopping nightmares, snarky attitude, and moping over unrequited middle-school crushes begin!

I tried to cheer him up with the story of my worst haircut ever--a truly tragic mullet my sophomore year of college. Let's just say I knew exactly how he felt, only mine really did look hideous. (His isn't bad! Really!) The story involved driving to another town afterward to a stylist I knew, bawling my eyes out, 20 minutes before a final in some media comm class I had when I was a journalism major (one of many majors), begging her to save me. She refused, because I was on the edge of insane, and all she could do is make it shorter. The last thing I wanted was SHORTER. What I wanted was for her to turn back time, but even as good as she was, that was not within her skill set. I had to go to my final with the horror hair, and I swear the professor smirked at me. I wanted to DIE. I barely held it together that day, but once I washed the hair, I found that I could do something with it that make me look neither like a lumberjack nor Bea Arthur. So anyway, the point was that I totally knew how he felt, and I really was sorry.

In the end, I vowed to let him make all his future haircut decisions, several times. The tears finally subsided when I agreed to go buy a hat later, but then he started to warm up to the hair after a couple hours and we were able to do without it. Crisis averted.

I'm telling you....soo not ready for his tweens.

Aaaanyway. The ride this weekend was good, if a bit cold in the beginning. Fifty degrees is colder than I thought, when there's wind blowing past you at 13-15 mph. My arms and hands were downright chilly for the first 15 miles or so. My pedals have not arrived yet, so no verdict yet on whether the Frogs are going to work for me. I did wear the skort for the first time, though, and it was fine. I was a little self-conscious when I was actually riding, because I could feel the skirt blowing out behind me. The shorts aren't as comfortable as my PIs, so now I sort of wish I had waited for the wrapper version to be in stock somewhere in black and bought that instead. I probably will buy one eventually. In the meantime, this'll do for the Saturday breakfast rides.

Rob's going to be buying a mountain bike before too long. He rode with me for the first few miles, on my hybrid. He found out that the upright riding position is much more comfortable for him right now than his road bikes, and he can actually generate more power and go faster with the hybrid than he ever could on his bike. So now he's thinking that he's either going to ride the hybrid for the Doughnut ride, or he's going to buy a mountain bike next weekend and ride it. I vote for the second option, because it means buying stuff. I like buying stuff. That, and my hybrid has the low-bar women's frame. While he's pretty secure in his manhood, he'd probably be happier on a men's bike at a group ride. :)

I'm hoping that my pedals are in the mail when I get home today, so that I can finally test them out. Now that it's light at 6 am again, I may start riding in the morning like I did during the century training. I've missed riding more than once a week. Of course, this would mean getting up early, which is historically not an easy thing for me. It is a good thing, though, so I'm going to give it a shot. As sporadic as my workouts have been lately, it may be the only way to get back to 6 workouts/week again.

Speaking of workouts, I did finally do that Cardio Coach workout last week. It's really designed for gym machines, so doing it on the outdoor track left something to be desired. The guy wasn't annoying, which is hard for me to find in workout tapes/videos/whatever. I'm not crazy about the music, but having that built-in pace increase was nice...like Walk Away the Pounds, but without the desire to put the instructor through the nearest wall after the first 10 chirpy minutes. I'm going to try it again the next time I go to the gym, which hopefully will be tonight after the trick-or-treating thing.

On the food front, I didn't do very well sticking to flexpoints on the weekend. I'm pretty sure I ate my activity points plus at least 20 flex, though I don't really have any documentation to prove it. As a slave to routine, the combination of TOM, boredom, and the time change completely undid me. Oh well, I have till Thursday to redeem myself. (Let's not talk about today, though, m'kay?)

I guess that's about it. You know, this isn't nearly as whiny as I thought it was going to be. Happy Halloween, everybody!

one day down, 6 to go

Since I'm really, really hoping to break the 5-lb loss at next week's weigh-in, I'm going to try something that I don't think I've ever done before--an entire week following the Flex Points plan, exactly as written. 24 points per day, plus activity. I'll probably dip into my flex points, but I'm going to try to save them until the second half of the week, at least.

I KNOW!! It's like a new world order or something. :)

So far, it's going pretty well...I've eaten 18.5 points so far today, which leaves me 7.5 for dinner if I work out this afternoon. Surely I can find something to eat tonight that won't be more than 7.5 points.

Four of the points I ate today were 2/3 of a McDonald's fruit and walnut salad. Despite being from That Place, it wasn't too bad. The apples were crisp, and the walnuts were actually quite tasty. Of course, they're the most pointeriffic part of the salad, but since I didn't eat the yogurt dip it all worked out. Of the grapes we will not speak. (Okay, we will...of the dozen or so in the package, only 4 were edible. The rest were mushy overripe crap.) It wasn't a bad snack, all around.

In non-food related news, I ordered a pair of Speedplay Frogs earlier this week, and I'm hoping that they arrive today so I can use them for tomorrow's ride. I'm curious if free-float pedals will help the clip-out strain on my right knee and ankle. I looked at all the Speedplay models, but ended up choosing the Frogs because they get mostly good reviews, and their cleats will mount on both pairs of my shoes. I'm a little nervous, though, because I know they're going to feel different than my current pedals. I didn't have any trouble getting used to the SPDs, so hopefully this transition will go just as smoothly. If I do hate them after a week or two, there's always eBay.

This day, man. I've got an hour left at work, and it feels like an eternity. One stressful thing after another, and they just keep coming. All I want is for 4:00 to come around, so that I can go to the bike store to pick up Rob's bike, then GO HOME. If I get home by 6:00, I can get a workout in before dark. Maybe I can persuade Noah to go riding with me. After the time change this weekend, evening rides won't be an option, and we're not exactly morning people. If he's going to ride 28 miles next weekend, we're going to have to get some miles in this week.

And since I have no satisfactory way to end this post...here, have some music. Today's selections are brought to you by the letter P, as in "boy am I Pissed that I'm still at work right now" (I started this post at 1:45, it's now 4:30):

Pump It - Black-Eyed Peas

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths (which is to GO HOME, like now)

Right-click, save as, have a great weekend!

performance anxiety

I'm a little anxious about the WW meeting tonight. On the one hand, my weigh in this morning was good--I'm back down to 174. However, my last official WW weigh-in was on a Saturday morning, so I'm a little afraid that I'm going to gain just because of the evening weigh-in. What makes this more frustrating is that I'm only 1.2 lbs away from the 5 lb loss, and I'd really like to make it this week. I want my bookmark, dammit!

It's weird to me that I've lost consistently these last 2 weeks, since I haven't exactly been a pillar of weight watchers virtue. I haven't been eating vats of pudding or anything, but I've had a seriously loose grip on my plan. I felt a little guilty last meeting when the weigh-in lady asked me whether I was doing flex or core, because while I'm meaning to do core, I'm really just kind of winging it over here. I haven't journaled a meal since...well, probably since that first week. I've been drinking a lot of water, and exercise has been okay, but really? That's it. Yet, I've lost nearly 4 lbs.

I guess these things go in cycles...I do everything right for 6 months and lose nothing, let everything go and gain a few pounds, then suddenly all I have to do is think about a plan and the weight drops off. It makes no sense. And because it makes no sense, I'm nervous about what the scale might say tonight.

curiouser and curiouser

Remember when I lost my wallet last month?

A total stranger just called me at work...his friend just found my wallet--with everything still in it--in a trash bin halfway across town. How it got there is a total mystery to me...best I can figure, I lost it at LEAST 20 miles from where the guy's saying he found it. Maybe it did run away from home!

I know that none of the credit cards have been used (and all my accounts were canceled a week after the wallet went missing anyway), but I think that since it also contained 2-3 forms of ID, it may be time to order some copies of my credit reports.

UPDATE: While it may be too early for anything to be reported, my credit reports don't show any unauthorized activity.

I was going to go pick up the wallet tonight, but once Rob realized that we were driving to a Denny's in Greenspoint to meet two strange men whose names we do not know at 8:00 at night, he persuaded me to rethink that plan. As much as I'd like to get my ID cards back, it probably wasn't the best way to do it. Since I didn't get a callback number either, I just need to wait for the guy to call again so I can arrange to meet him in daylight or something.

The update on the skort

The skort arrived on Saturday, and it fits! Well, kind of.

The waist of the skirt part was a bit roomy, and the front overlap doesn't line up straight because my hips are just a skosh too big for the skirt. Once I adjusted the waist strap, though, it looked passable. Since I only need to lose about another inch from my hips to make everything lay right, I'm keeping it.

The update on Mr. Peanut

I tried to put in a service request for Mr. Peanut today. Apple's online service said that I had owned him for over 6 months, so I'd ahve to pay $30 shipping to send him for repair. Since I could buy a new one for $95, it hardly seems worth it when they could easily tell me that they won't fix it anyway if the water damage is at all apparent.

So, I called tech support. After hearing the symptoms (I conveniently omitted the part about being submerged in water for 10 minutes), the tech thought it was my computer that was the problem, not the ipod. Which, of course, is total bullshit, since Audrey and Rob's ipod both charge fine when connected to the USB on both computers that I've tried Peanut on. Also, it's apparently irrelevant when I got the ipod, since the warranty starts from the day that it was purchased...which apparently was in April. Hence the shipping charge.

He did suggest taking it to an Apple store so they could test it with "known good hardware", to prove that it's actually the ipod that's the problem and not my shitty Windows computers. (I'm paraphrasing.)

In all fairness, he didn't have all the information, so I can't blame him for drawing the wrong conclusions. I can blame him for being kind of snippy and condescending, but part of that could be that it's, like, 8 am in California. Maybe he hadn't had his coffee yet.

Most of me is leaning toward just sucking it up and buying another one, anyway. I guess it can't hurt to bring it into the store, though...who knows, maybe the Macs can work some Apple magic on my poor, dead Shuffle. Of course, I could petition the Mac geniuses to warranty-replace it in the store, but I'd have to perform my sin of omission in person then, and I'm a really, really bad liar. Worst case, I can just bust out the credit card and buy a replacement.

Though it would be cheaper to just get one at Amazon, now that I think about it.

whaddya mean it's not Thursday?

I worked all weekend, so my internal routine manager is totally freaking out. I've woken up thinking it's Thursday for the past three days. Today seems particularly Thursday, and I have to keep mumbling "Wednesday, today is Wednesday" under my breath to keep the Thursdayness at bay. On the bright side...when I wake up tomorrow thinking it's Thursday, I'll be right!

Anyway, today IS Wednesday, which means that I need to get out there and run. I've pretty much abandoned the true C25k schedule in favor of a more casual routine. This week, I started doing 1/4 mile run, 1/4 mile walk, which comes out to be about 3 minutes running, 4 minutes walking at my current pace. I'm going to keep doing that until it's easy, then move on to 1/2-miles. That's the plan, anyway. I don't know that I'll be up to a 5k by December, but whatever.

Also, I unearthed my HR monitor chest strap, and I'm going to start wearing it again. I don't want to start obsessing over those numbers again, but I would like to know what they are compared to what they were 6 months ago. I feel like my heart is beating faster now than I remember, even on walks, which seems like a bad thing. It could be a side effect of cutting my weekly workout schedule in half, which is also something I'd like to fix in the near future. Things should be calming down at work after the end of October, so I plan to get back to 6 workouts/week in November. Hopefully, I'll see the HR numbers go back down with more regular exercise...that is, if they're even higher than before, which I won't really know until today's workout with the HRM.

Speaking of getting back to exercise in November, I signed up yesterday to do the Tour de Doughnut. I also signed Rob up, so we're going to do it together. I'm looking forward to it...I haven't ridden with Rob since the KFC last year, and it'll also be nice to do a shorter relaxed ride. Usually when I do group rides, I'm in sort of a race against myself...either I'm doing a longer distance than I've done before, or it's hillier, or I'm doing it faster...always making some kind of progress. This ride? I'm just in it for the doughnuts and the t-shirt. :) I'll go back to making progress in next year's rides.

I do need to bring Amelia into the shop before that ride, though. I really should have brought her with me this weekend, when Noah got his new mountain bike (for his birthday...he ended up choosing a Specialized Hardrock, black, in the smallest size they had. He was too big for the kid's bikes), but we were in a rush and I forgot. She's not really in bad shape, but that chain problem worries me, and the components could use a good overall cleaning and tune-up. I do what I can with the cleaning, but I'm kind of inept with the tools. I think my first tune-up's free anyway, so may as well get 'er done.

On the food front, I suck...not to put too fine a point on it. I start out every day trying to eat healthy, and then I'm eating Mexican by lunch. I'm pretty sure that I used all my Core points allowance by Sunday afternoon this week, and I've probably got a balance of about -37 points going right now. Maybe I can redeem myself today and tomorrow, so that I can post a small loss at tomorrow's meeting...but I'm not optimistic.

Speaking of meetings--for any WW meetings members out there--how do you switch meeting locations? They have that folder that they keep at the location, which I think I should bring with me on Saturday if I'm planning to switch meetings permanently. However, I don't want to pay for two meetings this week, so I'm tempted to skip the Thursday and only go to the Saturday. If I do that, though, I'd still have to go back to the Thursday the next week to get my enrollment folder, since they're at different locations. Of course, this may all turn out to be for nothing, if the Saturday meeting sucks worse than the Thursday. Anyone done this before? Help a girl out. :)

So anyway, I'm starving, and the temperature outside is creeping into the 80s, so I should really get out there to run, then grab some lunch. I'll let you know later whether my HR is indeed getting as out of control as I suspect.

Small, white, answers to "Mr. Peanut"

My workout ipod has disappeared!

I last saw him on my desk yesterday, but he apparently did not come home with me last night. I searched all through my office and my purse and Gigantor (my enormous tote bag) three times before I had to give up and fall back on Audrey for my walk today. It worked out okay because my workout shorts had pockets, and listening to an audiobook instead of music was kind of a nice change, but using the Mini for a day really makes me miss the Shuffle. Maybe it'll turn up in the car, or I'll find that I took him home and dropped it on the counter and just forgot all about it.

UPDATE: It was on the floor in the back seat of my car. I'm not sure how it ended up there, exactly, but I suspect gnomes.

Or maybe he ran off and joined the circus. I mean, I know I've been talking lately about handing him off to Noah and buying a Nano, but I didn't mean right now! Come back Mr. Peanut, come baaaaaack...!

just as well, it didn't really say anything anyway

I lost an entry somewhere...I remember writing it this morning, and I remember saving it as a draft, but when I came back this afternoon to add to it, it had disappeared. Allow me to summarize:

Everything's going okay, but I'm as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Also, I might not lose any weight this week, and I'm worried that the WW scale jockeys might give me the ol' stink-eye tomorrow night as a result, since this is my first week. You're supposed to lose a ton of weight the first week in a new plan, right? It's like a law or something.

So, that was it. What I was going to add this afternoon was that I haven't done anything that could be called intentional exercise since Saturday, which is also contributing to my lackluster progress this week. I've spent my days so absorbed in one problem/project after another and trying to keep it all on schedule, that by the time I think about going out to the track, the opportunity has passed. It's a shame, too, because the weather has been so nice. I am going to try to get 2 miles in while I work on something tonight after hours, though...gotta get back into that groove.

I'd also like to start riding more than once a week again. I kind of miss the century training, and Amelia may start feeling neglected. Maybe when the clocks change again, I can start doing weekday mornings. Or I could buy a headlight, but I don't really like riding in the dark. And I hate, hate, hate the indoor trainer. But, as I said before, gotta get back into that groove.

Speaking of biking, I'm thinking that my next ride is going to be the Tour de Doughnut on 11/6. Noah, Rob, and I were all going to do the Novemberfest ride on the 12th, but it turns out that I also have a company event on that day. We could still do the 10 miles and make it to the event on time, but I wouldn't be able to relax and let Noah go at his own pace. I don't want his first organized ride to be about me hurrying him along, so we're going to hold off on it, probably till next year. Rob's thinking of doing the Doughnut with me, but he needs to get some time on the bike in order to know if he's able to do 28 miles. I hope so...it'd be nice to have someone to ride with. I like to ride alone, but riding alone in a group gets sort of lonely. Know what I mean?

So yeah, that's all I have. I'll report back after the WW meeting tomorrow, let you know if they threw me out because I didn't lose anything my first week. :)

stuff

hey, I'm still here! Been busy the last few days.

Still on for the metric century on Saturday...I'm going to be picking up my race packet tomorrow after work. I'm pretty sure I'm ready, or as ready as I'll ever be. The weather's still supposed to be perfect (hi 81/lo 53, sunny), so that much is good. I still haven't practiced shifting the front ring...it's not that I don't think I'll be able to do it when I need to, I just don't want my first time ever downshifting to the granny gear to be on a climb where I'm already struggling. I need a dress rehearsal, of sorts.

It's a security thing. When I'm going to do something new by myself, I like to know every variable beforehand--where to park, where to stand, every step of the procedure once I'm there, worst case scenarios, alternate escape routes, etc. If I'm not sure of myself going in, freakout potential is high. It'd be a shame to have a meltdown by the side of the road because I shifted wrong and my chain fell off. It'd be like my first time at a full-service car wash, all over again. (Don't ask.)

Speaking of new things, the running is going solidly okay. It's been hotter this week than the weatherman promised me, and the mosquitoes on the outdoor track have been both big enough and plentiful enough that they could practically carry me away, but I've stuck with it for three workouts now. I'm not having any trouble with my foot or my knees, but my right ankle feels oddly weak. Not painful, just weak. I think I might be sleeping with it at a bad angle, and I don't really notice it until I run. Other than that, though, I'm not having any problems yet. Of course, I'm only doing 60-second run intervals.

I have only the vaguest idea of what my HR is during all this running and biking and whatever, because I've stopped wearing the monitor. I use the watch for timing, but the chest strap is AWOL and I haven't felt particularly motivated to find it. I think I'm kind of burnt out on the whole biofeedback thing. After months of tracking and documenting and obsessing over my every heartbeat, I'm kind of over it for a while. I may still be pushing 170 on every run, but I don't want to know about it. (For what it's worth, I don't think I am. 165, tops.)

Regarding food...I've been eating a lot of it, and I haven't been very discriminating in my choices. This leaves me feeling sort of icky, and I've put on a pound or two, so the steady junk food buffet is going to stop soon, but I haven't yet decided which plan to adopt. I've contemplated a South Beach-ish approach, a whole foods thing, a no-sugar thing, a just-journal-everything thing...I'm even considering going back to Weight Watchers for a little while. The bottom line is, I need something more structured than what I'm doing. Since what I'm doing is eating whatever sounds good whenever I'm hungry or bored or need something to keep my hands busy, I have nowhere to go but up in the structure department.

All this is part of a bigger plan to finally get my shit together. I read this book over Hurricane weekend about getting organized, and I've been trying to follow their suggestions. I have this card file that has cards for all the stuff that needs to get done, and I have different cards for every day. For the first week or so, it was working great. And then I started to get behind, and feel bad about getting behind, and I still haven't done anything about the closets. The whole thing's stressing me out, and the only things I even still have going right now is that there are no dishes in the sink and I only go to the grocery store once a week. Oh, and I have a meal plan for the week. But all that other crap--making the bed, sorting laundry every day, sweeping the floor daily, decluttering...well, everything, letting each day have its own purpose, etc.--it's pretty much fallen by the wayside.

It's really the starting that's the problem. If all my closets and cupboards and 3 junkrooms were ALREADY clean, I wouldn't have any trouble keeping up with the weekly schedule. But finding time to excavate a closet AND plan menus AND balance the checkbook AND go to the dry cleaner AND cook dinner AND deal with the dishes and the cats and the laundry, all before 7 am and/or after 6 pm on a weekday? Um, no. And that's just Monday.

I'm beginning to get the impression that this book was really written for stay-at-home moms...at least the initial getting-out-from-under part of the plan, anyway. For instance, who the hell has time to work full time, then spend 4-6 hours on a "full-clean" day one day, AND have a "family work day" on a completely different day? Every week? The only days I have 4-6 hours to do anything outside of work are Saturday and Sunday, and sanity dictates that I don't spend 8-12 hours cleaning EVERY WEEKEND. Not gonna happen. Any cleaning/decluttering that can't be done in 5-30 minute spurts does not get done in my house, which is another of the major reasons we have three jars of thyme but no salt and I can never find my keys.

I haven't given up on the overall organization project, but I'm not nearly as gung-ho about it as I was a week ago. Maybe in a Saturday or two, I'll stop seeing it as so all-or-nothing and be able to reorganize something to my satisfaction. Things will start rolling again. After all, people manage to not live in chaos and squalor all the time. Most people, I imagine. I'll eventually figure out how to do it without making my entire life about picking up socks and vacuuming cat hair.

So anyway. Speaking of projects, I have one that I need to get started in, like, 15 minutes ago. More tomorrow!

The perishable food commandments

I'm extraordinarily wired this morning. I think it's two parts clean kitchen for two days in a row, 3 parts good night's sleep, and one part 20 oz. latte. At any rate, I'm awake.

UPDATE: Upon further reflection, I have added two new commandments since the original draft of this post.

Today is trash day, and I actually remembered to take all the freezer stuff out to the curb. I'm so excited about the empty freezer, I'm practically giddy. No more cramming the frozen pizza um, delicious, low-calorie Lean Cuisines into the side of an already over-full freezer basket! I was a little embarrassed as I threw away over 8 pounds of frozen chicken breasts. They weren't wasted because we don't eat chicken breasts, but because I don't plan very well.

Here's how it happens--one week, I'll decide to plan meals and buy groceries for the entire week. Then, on chicken day, I'll decide that we don't really want chicken and stick the package in the freezer. They never make it out of the freezer because I completely throw out the meal plan by mid-week and go back to deciding dinner on the way home from work. By that time, it's too late to thaw anything, so I go to the store and buy another pound of chicken breasts. Whatever chicken is already in the freezer is therefore condemned to death by freezerburn or extended power outage, whichever comes first. Five pounds of frozen salmon fillets met the same fate, for the same reasons.

So, after dumping the freezer, I hereby issue several new commandments for our household:

I. Thou shalt not buy perishable food in bulk.

VII. Thou shalt thaw meat in accordance with thine weekly food plan (from which thou shalt. not. deviate. Seriously).

VIII. Thou shalt not wait for a natural disaster to winnow the contents of thine refrigerator/freezer.

I suspect that, much like the more famous 10, these six eight commandments will be open to more liberal interpretation as time passes.

we survived!

Hurricane Rita ended up going way east, which sucks for Beaumont and Louisiana but was good for us. We have an impressive collection of twigs in the yard, work has a couple server casualties, and grocery stores and gas stations are pretty depleted. The roads didn't even flood...there wasn't much rain at all, just a lot of wind. I also have no chance of making my work fitness incentive this quarter, since I slacked the first month and there are not enough days left in September for me to get the 7 more points I need.

Our biggest problem was that we lost power for a day and a half. It was pretty miserable sleeping Saturday night, and we're going to have to restock the freezer and most of the fridge. This is actually a blessing in disguise, since some of the stuff in that freezer has been there since Clinton was president. It's a good excuse to throw a bunch of crap away and restock, which I've been meaning to do eventually. The power outage was also a good excuse to eat ice cream for breakfast on Saturday. You know, so that it didn't go to waste or anything.

I did try to go to the grocery store last night, and it was as insane as anticipated. If we weren't completely out of cat food, I probably would have put it off for a few more days. It's funny...in a hoarding/post-hoarding situation like this, you can tell what people buy and what they don't, which brands are popular, etc.. Some of it's skewed, because foods that can be prepared without electricity are in higher demand than usual, and the run on bleach and paper products is sort of expected. And the store is in an upper middle-class suburb, so stock might be different in other demographic areas. One thing that did strike me, though, is that the store had an abundance of white bread and tortillas galore, but no wheat bread, English muffins, or bagels. Whole and 2% milk were out, but 1% and below were pretty well stocked (we drink 1%, so Noah's world did not end). All the middle-range brands of dry dog food were gone, but all but the mega-big bags of cat food were in stock (a good thing, since that's the reason I braved the crowds). Kit n Kaboodle and Meow Mix were big sellers, Cat Chow less so. Fresh Step is apparently the leading brand of kitty litter, with Tidy Cat running a distant second. They were nearly out of mac & cheese and all but the most nasty varieties of Hamburger helper. The soda and snack aisles were utterly destroyed. Canned soup and vegetables were pretty well stocked, but bagged salads were all gone. They were frantically restocking bananas and ground beef.

So, per my very unscientific observation, we live in an area filled with dog people who eat primarily wheat bread and drink whole or 2% milk. They are also freaks for bananas and bagged salads. They prefer Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke, and diet root beer is as universally shunned as all varieties of the HEB house brand sodas. Everyone hates Aquafina as much as I do. Apparently our neighbors also eat massive amounts of Tater Tots, since I had to resort to "Potato Puffs" for my quickie casserole last night, which are SO not the same thing. :)

As for today, Noah doesn't have school till Wednesday, but Rob and I are back at work today. Evacuees are streaming back into town, so traffic on I-45 kind of sucks...but it always does. Since Rob works in Huntsville, he may have a long commute home today. Other than that, we're fine!

storm's a-coming

The entire first two days of my WI vacation, I wondered constantly whatever possessed me to leave. I mean, sure, money, Robert, job, whatever. Still, the place is so CLEAN. And the weather was so nice. And the people were so nice. And all my family were within a half-hour's drive! By Friday afternoon, I was calling Rob and saying that we needed to get our finances totally in order and start looking for jobs up there, because seriously...God's Country. Then of course, I was sick as a dog by Sunday, and couldn't wait to go home.

Now, Rita is making me revisit the whole Midwestern living plan. It may get freezing-ass cold up there four months of the year, but we could totally cross "devastation by hurricane" off the list of worries.

I'm really more concerned about work than home, since we live in the northwest 'burbs on fairly high ground. During Allison a few years back, Rob's house didn't flood at all. Roads were a problem for a while, but that was about it. We might lose power if/when the hurricane hits, and there could be downed trees and minor flooding, but I think we'll come through it okay overall. My office, on the other hand, is all a-flutter with disaster recovery plans right now. Hopefully, we won't need to use them.

oh, but just one more thing...

When I was shopping for wedding clothes (which was harder than anticipated, by the way...malls suck), I realized that I have officially moved out of 16/XL territory in all things. I am a solid 14, and even fit into some 12s. Woo!

This is a bittersweet realization, though, since it means that I cannot find jeans that fit anymore. Apparently in fashionland, your thighs magically shrink 30% between misses and plus sizes. Mine, alas, did not. So, know any regular size, boot-cut jeans that are roomy through the thighs but don't gap horribly in the waist?

typhoid Joy returns

I'm back from my vacation! The wedding was beautiful, my little brother is adorable, and people did comment on my weight loss even if it wasn't the 20 lb difference I was shooting for. I did ride the entire Red Cedar Trail on Friday afternoon. It seemed much shorter than I remember it...when I got to the Dunnville end, I was kind of wishing I had time to continue on to Eau Claire. I didn't though, so my distance was only 30 miles round-trip. It was still awesome...did I mention the weather was perfect all weekend?

The vacation would have been better if I wasn't still sick. I swear, this is the longest I've been sick in ages. I've got it knocked down to a nasty cough now, but still, with the change in climate and staying with smokers, I was Miserable Raw-Throat Girl for the last day of my vacation. I also felt sort of guilty, because everyone I came into contact with was coughing by the time I left. It could have been coincidence, since everyone I voiced my "Typhoid Mary" concerns to insisted that I couldn't still be contagious after a week, and I was always very careful not to cough at people, or to touch Ben without washing my hands thoroughly. Still, he was coughing by the time I left too, so I'm probably going to hell for spreading my disease to the 2-month old. Ah well, just add that to the list, I guess. :)

Anyway, back at the grindstone today. I'm the lone member of my department currently in the office, so this is going to have to do it for the posting today until I get home. I've only got two pictures from the trip and I look like a big fat troll in both of them, so I don't think I'll be posting them anytime soon.

I think I shall call him...SuperBanker

If you'll recall, yesterday I went to the bank and did a lost/stolen transfer of my checking account to a new account number. It went beautifully, everything was supposed to be seamless, and I commented that it was the easiest part of the whole "losing the wallet" ordeal. Well, maybe I spoke too soon about that whole "smoothest and fastest transaction" thing.

This morning, I went to online banking to check my balance, and discovered that I had no eligible accounts. Well, that was okay, no big deal...they just hadn't gotten my new account online yet. I didn't have the account number with me in my office, so I decided to wait and call after lunch to fix it.

Then, since my bank doesn't have branches in WI and I have no debit card for a week, I went to the bank during my lunch hour to get a few hundred dollars cash for the trip. I waited in line with my 17 forms of ID and confirmation numbers from yesterday, then finally got to the teller. I filled out a withdrawal slip, signed it, handed it to her. She looked at her computer.

"This account doesn't have enough money in it."

You know that feeling of being kicked in the stomach? That's what I felt at that moment.

"That's impossible. I did a lost/stolen transfer yesterday and my direct deposit was already available in the old account...everything should be there. How much does it have?"

"[A number about 80% smaller than expected]"

My hands started to shake.

"Can you check the other account?"

"That one's closed."

This one time when I was 11 or 12, I was sledding with my brother and I landed wrong out of a jump. I landed on my tailbone and got the wind knocked out of me. Except for the tailbone pain, this felt a lot like that. Overnight, my paycheck had disappeared. Poof...gone!

"But what happened to my direct deposit? It was there yesterday. I have to get on a plane in 5 hours! This cannot be happening."

"They probably sent it back, since the account was closed."

If they sent my direct deposit back, I was totally screwed. It would take at least until next week to get everything re-processed. My knees went weak and I started sputtering nonsense.

"But they can't send it back! Preauthorized! Credit! He said! I have no money! 5 hours! Plane! Wisconsin! I have a wedding...gift and a dress and a rental ca--"

"Do you have time to talk to a personal banker about this?"

Panic to huffiness in 2.4 seconds.

"Well, I guess I do."

I headed toward the desks where the personal bankers live. The only one there was the same guy who did my lost/stolen transfer yesterday. The one that went so smoothly. I stalked over to him, wild-eyed and angry. I think I may have been able to pull off my Ludacris-inspired badass impression right then, if not for the tears and the shaking hands.

"Hi. I talked to you yesterday. Lost/stolen transfer? Now my paycheck is gone. Not in either account. Gone! I have to get on a plane in 5 hours and I have no money." I was about six seconds from total meltdown. Banker Guy, meanwhile, was the picture of calm. He smiled reassuringly and said, "I remember. Let's see what we can do."

He motioned to the chair and got on his phone. I collapsed into it and waited for him to save me. Within 10 minutes, everything was worked out. Since my direct deposit was pending at the time of the transfer, the posting was delayed one day. It was going to post to the new account tonight, but he was able to do some sort of banking magic to get me enough cash for the trip today. He also fixed my online banking problem, and confirmed all the preauthorized transactions from the other account. This guy's my favorite banker in the world, I'm telling you. I may just write a letter telling Wells Fargo how much he saved my day. Two days in a row, even. :)

feeling better

well, I'm not at death's door anymore. I'm coughing up occasionally-alarming wads of phlegm, but that's generally a sign that things are improving. Better out than in, after all.

Yeah, probably TMI. Sorry.

I haven't worked out since the ride on Sunday, and I'm almost totally unrepentant about it. Working out while sick is a level of masochism that I do not aspire to. I did read fitness magazines when I was home sick yesterday...that counts, right? :)

In other news, I get on the plane to Wisconsin tomorrow, probably straight from work. This means that a workout tonight is unlikely, since I'll need to pack and possibly buy a dress and a gift. Though I'm probably going to wait on that till I get there, since I don't want to check any baggage. If I had a dress, I'd need a garment bag so it wouldn't get wrinkled, and I'd have to check it. So I'll just buy one when I get there and cram it into the carry-on for the flight home. I can iron more easily at home. (Not that I actually do or anything.)

Speaking of clothes...does anyone know where everyone in my office is buying the super-cute skirts lately? Because those knee-length A-linish skirts would look fabulous on me, but I can't find them anywhere but on other people. I mean, it's not like I've been to the mall lately, but you'd think I'd see them online somewhere. Since the people who are wearing the cute skirts are not people I particularly like (or even know by name), I hate to just walk up and ask, "I know you have no idea who I am, but where did you get your skirt?"

Anyway. My Hometown 20 looks like it's going to be a Hometown 9 or 10, which I guess is better than a Hometown Zero. My lowest weigh-in this week was 174, on Saturday. I've since put on 3 lbs, but I blame that on water retention after the long ride, being sick ("feed a cold", right?), and also on TOM, who made a very belated appearance this morning. I'm going to weigh in officially tomorrow morning, because I won't have access to my scale on Friday, what with it being 1000 miles away. I suppose I could pack it, but then I'd probably need to check a bag.

I'm looking forward to seeing my baby brother, who is...God, nearly two months old now. It'll also be nice to see my dad & Erin, and the grandparents. I hope the weather's going to be nice and autumnal...it'll be a nice break from the 90-degree afternoons around here. I'm also looking forward to the wedding, of course...I like weddings, and I don't go to many of them. This one's a good one, too...they've been together 10 years, so it's a long time coming. :) I'm glad I'll be there in person to wish them well.

In non-trip related news, I've all but decided to forgo the century in October. I'm still going to ride, but I think I'm going to commit to just the 87-mile course. Which, you know...87 miles. Nothing to sneeze at. It's still double the mileage of anything I did in previous years.

I'm also going to take it MUCH EASIER than I did on the metric century this past weekend. On this one, I gave into the temptation to try to keep up from the outset, and the course was so flat that I didn't realize how hard I was riding until it was too late. That last hour of riding was the longest of my life. If I had started out more slowly, say 14-15 mph, the story may have turned out differently. If I need to use a club to beat my ego into submission, I will do so. My goal is going to be to finish, and to not sleep the rest of the day away afterward. Speed is irrelevant...though my obsessive monitoring of it is still a given.

Anyhoo...I don't have much else to say today. I need to go open a new bank account this afternoon, so I'd better get on that. Since I lost both my checkbook and my debit card, the bank guy advised me to close this account and open a new one. God, what a pain in the ass this all is. I think my next wallet will be fitted with a GPS...and maybe an alarm if I wander more than 5 yards away from it at any point. Of course, this still wouldn't prevent me from leaving it on the trunk of the car. But at least I'd know where it eventually flew off. :)

UPDATE: I have to say, getting my bank account transferred and my name changed was, by far, the fastest and smoothest process of this whole ordeal. I was in and out of the bank in 5 minutes, with new account numbers in hand. I heart Wells Fargo.

aftermath

well, I held out until about 6:00-6:30 last night before I crashed mightily. I woke up at around 6:30 this morning, not as refreshed as you would think. Part of this is the virulent strain of swine flu the common cold that I picked up last week, which has progressed to the "hack up a lung" phase(I'm sure that my adventures in lunch preparation the other day had something to do with it, but I actually felt it coming on before that, too). So, together with the aftereffects of the metric century yesterday, I feel like death.

Adding to my misery is the 2 hours I spent at the DPS office replacing my lost driver's license. I was hoping that they might be able to print one same day. Alas, no...TX does not print licenses at the DPS offices, so the wait on my picture ID is 3-6 weeks. It boggles my mind. When I got my WI driver's license in 1991, they printed it while I waited. Same with every other ID I've ever needed for anything--college, Sam's Club, work...And yet, TX can't produce a frickin' driver's license for 3-6 weeks. Sigh.

This wouldn't be a big deal, except that I picked the worst possible time to lose my wallet. I have to get on a plane in 3 days. Not only that, but the reservation? In my maiden name. Why? Because my driver's license was in my maiden name. But now that I had to get a new license anyway, I used my married name...two birds, one stone, etc. When I called the airline to change the reservation, I was informed that the name on a reservation can't be changed. Ever. I did not know this. That's where the call got fun.

"So what do I need to bring then?"
"Well, you could bring your new driver's license and your marriage license."
"I won't have my new license for 3-6 weeks. I have a temporary permit."
"Do you have a credit card in your maiden name?"
"Oh, yeah! No, wait, no I don't. They were all in the wallet with the driver's license. I have one in my married name."
"Social security card?"
"Married name."
"You don't have your old SS card?"
"It was in the wallet--"
"--With the credit cards and the driver's license?"
"Exactly."

So, after some more back and forth, we established that multiple forms of government ID, even without pictures, would be enough to get through security. Just to be safe, I'm going to bring every bit of ID that I still have in my possession. If I lose my luggage on this vacation, I'm totally screwed. :)

I hate losing my wallet...especially since I'm quite sure that I lost it, as in, it was not stolen. I've been checking the balances on the credit cards obsessively since I realized it was missing, and there has not been a single charge to any of them. (Of course, I haven't checked my credit report...I could have 16 brand-new credit cards in my maiden name on their way to a PO box in Houston right now, for all I know.) I held off on canceling them, because I was sure that the wallet would turn up any minute. However, it's been a week since I last used it, and I've looked everywhere. This wallet is aggressively, permanently lost. It has run away from home.

My two favorite theories at the moment are that a) I left it on the trunk of the car when I was loading the groceries into the back seat and it's somewhere in the ditches between the Kroger and my house, or b) I threw it away with the grocery bags, or in a flurry of cleaning. At any rate, it's not in the house, my office, my other office, or my car. It's also not at the Kroger, which I have been peppering with phone calls and visits since last Thursday.

It's time to let go...cancel the cards and get on with my life. The bright side is, I still have one credit card I can get by on, along with my checkbook, gas card, and Starbucks card. So, I may not be able to buy stuff online until my new debit card arrives (probably a good thing--I may have had a Nano by now otherwise), but I can buy food, gas, and coffee, and I can pay the sitter. My world will still keep turning. I just wish I wasn't such a dumbass sometimes.

bring on the ebola...I'm frickin' hungry in here

so...a scruples question for you.

Say, you just got back to the main building after spending your lunch hour walking on the outdoor track, and you're now microwaving your Lean Cuisine in the office cafeteria, alone except for the caterer. It's a large Lean Cuisine, and takes nearly 6 minutes to fully cook. Since you just walked 2 miles and haven't eaten anything since breakfast, you're starving. You also lost your wallet sometime in the last 3 days, and have no cash or credit cards at hand.

Now suppose, just hypothetically, that as you were taking your lunch out of the microwave after the longest 6 minutes of your life, you lost your grip and spilled the entire meal on the cafeteria floor. Since the caterer is around a bend in the wall, there are no witnesses.

Do you just say, "Crap!", throw the meal away, and resign yourself to a hungry afternoon?

Or do you enact the 5-second rule, use napkins to scoop the mess back into the tray, clean up the floor (in other words, "destroy the evidence"), and slink back to your office to eat as much of it as you could salvage?

I think you can guess which one I chose. Hypothetically.

dammit Apple--quit it!

Just about the time I think I'm satisfied with our iPod situation, Apple comes out with a new Coolest. Thing. Ever.

As a 3-person, 3-ipod household, we have absolutely no need for an iPod Nano. Of course, that doesn't keep me from casting long, lustful glances at it and moaning softly. It's beautiful.

Aside from the lack of anything even resembling a need for it, there are other things that keep me from ordering one right this second. For one, the only available lanyard is integrated with those awful Apple earbuds. A cool idea for those big-eared people who like the earbuds, but a dealbreaker for me because I don't. I also don't like the armbands (the one I have for the Mini seems to have based its sizing on stick-thin supermodel arms, which I do not have), so the only way I could carry one is in my hand or my pocket. So, it couldn't be a replacement for Mr. Peanut. It also can't replace Audrey because it's not compatible with my FM adapter for the car.

So, until it either has a lanyard available without integrated headphones, or a compatible FM transmitter available (paging Griffin and/or Belkin, come in Griffin and/or Belkin), I'll just gaze longingly at it from afar.

Sigh.

UPDATE: Hey look--Apple does make a lanyard after all! It says it's for the Mini, but since I think Nano has the same dock connector, it should work there also. I've ordered one to take a look at it...even if we don't buy a Nano, I can use it for Audrey. Nano is still on the wish list, though. Maybe a future weight loss incentive...:)

the post before the hometown 20 report

I've been slacking a little bit. Nothing serious...just a skipped ride here, an order of boneless buffalo wings there. (Actually, it should be "here" and "here", since both these things happened yesterday.)

I'm not terribly concerned about it, though, because I did walk over my lunch hour, and rode over 60 miles on the weekend. My weekend eating wasn't actually that bad, either. The scale does say that I've gained 3 lbs since last week, but I'm confident that it's lying its ass off again. This too shall pass, and hopefully before Friday.

As a quick preview of the belated Hometown 20 report due later today, last week's bike mileage was 106.75. Less than it should have been, but still a new high. There were also 6 walking miles, and should have been a core x-train class also. However, it turned out that the hardest part of the core x-train class was remembering to go--I remembered the class 45 minutes after it had started. Since it would have taken me 15 minutes to drive to the gym, the class would be over by the time I got there. I've got an alarm set in my cell phone to remind me next week. I've also got one for the Piyo class on Thursday, and the changes in the ride schedule to make up for the miles that I didn't ride yesterday(*cough*And Friday*cough*).

Also, Renee's beaker babe challenge ends next Monday, and last week's weigh-in put me at my challenge start weight. In other words, I have lost NOTHING. In the beginning, I was sure that I would contribute a full beaker and then some, but here we are in the last week and I have yet to eke out a single ounce. Not for lack of trying, but it's a bit depressing nonetheless.

So, time to buckle down and finish this thing. Maybe I can still do a lb-sized beaker, and I might even be able to hit 170 by the end of the Hometown 20 challenge on 9/16. I've said this before, but I'm saying it again. Game on.

10 hours, 10 minutes

As of my walk today, which completes my exercise for the week, I have worked out 10 hours, 10 minutes, and 3 seconds this week. In other words, there has been some serious kicking of ass and taking of names going on around here. At least one workout every day but Sunday, two workouts on Monday, Tuesday, and today. All this exercise burned 4612 calories.

Up until this morning, however, the scale was refusing to acknowledge my relentless ass-kickery. It insisted on spitting out 177s and 178s every day this week, until I wanted to pick it up with both hands and smash it against the wall. I even considered asking Rob to hide it again, since the scale obviously did not like me and I was not taking the rejection well. However, this morning it was more cooperative, showing me a 175.5. I have high hopes for tomorrow...and a resolve to only weigh in once next week, on Friday. I really don't need this kind of aggro.

On the food front, sticking to 1500 calories is hard. I do really well until my evening commute, and then all hell breaks loose. If I have to stop at the grocery store, I end up with all kinds of crap in the cart. Monday, I came home with three different kinds of potato chips and ice cream. I only actually ate a couple handfuls of chips, haven't even touched the ice cream yet, but that's not really the point. The point is, I went to the grocery store hungry and Bad Things Happened. Tuesday, even though I bought ingredients for a perfectly healthy meal at the store on Monday, I didn't feel like cooking once I got home. So we went out, and I ate about 600 calories more than I intended. This is how it happens.

The good news is, I did Tuesday's healthy meal last night, and kept the calorie count down to 1520. However, I see a pattern forming this week that I don't particularly like. It seems that the less I tell myself I can eat, the more I want junk food. When I was eating 1800 calories/day, I didn't want to run out and eat a whole bag of chips(...much). Now that I've set my limit at 1500, I crave chips and dips and doughnuts and all those things that I had little trouble avoiding before. It may also be hormonal, since it's possibly That Week. Still, 1500? Hard.

In other good news, I won an ipod shuffle yesterday! It was part of a work promotion, and I almost didn't enter because really...how many different ipods does one household need? We already had a 40GB and a mini. I think the secret of my win, looking back on it, is that I really wanted one of the consolation prizes--a cool orange water bottle. So of course I won the real prize. :)

Anyway, now that I have Mr. Peanut(yes, I must name everything), I'm really enjoying him. He's not as cool as Audrey(6gb mini), of course...no screen, not pink, and a windows explorer window pops up every time I update his playlist when he's attached to the computer. If I do manual updates, I have to close the stupid thing about 85 times. However, working out with him is fabulous...he's so light, hangs around my neck on a lanyard, doesn't get salty about being bumped around. I love having my hands free on walks, and I don't need a jersey with pockets for my short morning rides anymore. To make the most of the autofill option, I'm creating a huge playlist to grab a different mix every day. Ah, new toys.

Speaking of my short morning rides...that phrase reminds me of another thing I was going to post about. Last Saturday morning, I was wandering around the house gathering up stuff to take on my ride, and Rob asked when I would be back.

"By 10:30, easy...I'm only going 30 miles. Should have plenty of time to shower and stuff before my dentist appointment."

He looked at me kind of funny and smiled. "'Only 30 miles'? My, how far we've come."

I stopped and considered for a minute. When did I become the sort of person who considers 30 miles a short ride for a Saturday? It wasn't that long ago that a hilly 40-mile ride took all I had. Less than a year before that, a spinning class was hell, and a flat 28-mile ride was an accomplishment. Shit, just a couple months ago, I commented that if I tried to bike 150 miles in a week, I'd need a wheelchair afterward. This week, I biked over 95 miles and walked around 8-9 miles. I also tested my newly pain-free foot with a bit of running during yesterday's walk (Verdict: foot's fine. Can't do much in my target HR, though). Next week's plan is ~115 miles biking and 11 miles of walking, with nary a wheelchair in sight. :) I have come a long way. In my drive to go further/faster/harder/stronger, it's so easy to forget that.

Siege on Joysmouth ongoing, defensive forces mobilized

Face, MyBody - After taking the entire Right Cheek and East Jawline regions and steadily encroaching on the outskirts of Tongue, the Bottom Wisdom Tooth forces set fire to the entire Right Face area early this afternoon. Our war correspondent, Right Hand, is reporting that the fire is spreading rapidly, moving as far north as Forehead with offshoots reaching west toward the Left Jawline region as well.

Brain forces have (finally) acknowledged the rebellion as a serious threat, and both battalions of the Finger army have been enlisted to procure emergency dental services from allies Insurance and Internet. Rumors are circulating that even though relations are uneasy between Brain and Phone, Phone's services will be requested to rendevous with dental staff once the appropriate contacts have been obtained.

More information will be provided on this situation as it develops.

UPDATE: After several failed attempts to find a dentist that works past 2 pm on Fridays, an appointment was finally secured for 12:30 on Saturday. Special Forces teams (code name: A.N.T.I.B.I.O.T.I.C.S.) are expected to launch a counterattack late tomorrow afternoon. In the interim, firefighters from the Acetaminophen division have been dispatched to control the spread and intensity of the blaze.

it's not about the bike

Eventually, I'm going to get tired of talking about the cycling. Since that day has not yet come, though, you get more bike posts. This one is about MORE than the bike, at least. Maybe even some things completely unrelated to the bike! Maybe.

So, I've decided not to do a Hometown 20 weekly report for last week, now that I've put it off for so long. At this point, I would be posting one today only to post another one tomorrow. It'll be a black mark on my challenge record, but I can live with that.

Speaking of tomorrow, I have no idea what the scale is going to say. All week long it's been saying 176-177, then yesterday it spit out a 175. Today, it's back up to 177, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom. I'm cautiously optimistic about tomorrow, though...maybe I'll drop 6 lbs. overnight or something! At the very least, I should see some happy measurements--my legs are feeling decidedly less squishy these days. And when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, I actually looked normal-sized. Of course, I had skinny days back when I was pushing 220, so that observation may not be worth much.

My overall numbers have been good this week--calories hovering right around 1800 every day, plenty of water, and scads of exercise. After the ride this morning, my total exercise time was about 6 1/2 hours, 3400ish calories burned (I don't have the HRM on hand). Nearly all of those 6 1/2 hours were at an aerobic HR, also, so the fat-burn percentage was also high. In theory, anyway.

My average speeds on the rides have been going down pretty consistently, as I start getting used to spinning in a lower gear and keeping the HR down. I've also been including my warmup in the overall times, which skews the numbers a bit compared to the first two rides. Ten minutes at 9-11 mph makes a difference in a 65-minute ride, but will make less difference as the rides get longer. That said, my speeds aren't terrible now--I went from 14.4 mph on the first ride with an average HR of 142 to 13.1 mph on this morning's ride with an average HR of 132. I rode virtually the same route plus 3 miles, so the terrain was the same. My gears were lower, my average cadence about the same. Slower speeds are to be expected under those conditions, even though it chaps me a little to see the numbers go backwards. Patience, grasshoppa. :)

I've been giving some thought to how I'm going to keep up my training schedule on my mini-vacation in September. I don't really want to bring my bike with me--the packing and checking and worrying doesn't seem worth it for a weekend trip. However, I do want to get at least ONE ride in, probably Friday morning. The weather will likely be fantastic, unless they have an early cold snap or something. The scenery will be equally gorgeous, since IIRC mid-September is leaf-changing season, at least for the maples. The thought of not riding in that makes me very sad.

My hometown has a good rail-to-trail down by the river, which goes 14 miles and hooks up with another trail that continues for another 26 miles. I think my love of biking was born on the Red Cedar trail. We used to ride the first leg of it when we were kids. My mom would pack the three of us up and we'd either drive down to the trail or ride down there (that part I don't remember), and ride from Menomonie to Irvington. It was less than 3 miles, and an all-day affair. :) I guess the oldest we could have been at the time were 11, 9, and 6, and we stopped at every rest area, sometimes packed a picnic. We probably didn't go that often...maybe once or twice a summer once Ryan could ride well enough. Since he was only 7 the summer she passed away, we probably went half a dozen times, tops. Still, it's one of my favorite memories of the things we did with her.

When I bought a decent mountain bike the summer after high school, I used to ride the trail every once in a while. The furthest I ever went was Downsville, where I stopped and had a lemonade with my Grandma before riding back. I think it was 14 miles round-trip, but it felt sooo long at the time.

Anyway...enough reminiscing. My point is, I've decided to ride the trail when I'm there in September. I've been getting info about bike rentals and whether the trail is even open in the fall. I think it's year-round, because they groom it for cross-country skiing in the winter. I only remember the trailhead depot being open in the summer, though, so I don't know. I guess I'll just have to drive over there and see. My plan is to rent a bike Friday morning and ride the entire trail round-trip. That would come out to be around 28-29 miles, which fits my century training exactly. I'll have to skip the 55-miler on Saturday (damn that wedding!), but I can at least get all the "short" rides in for that week. And I can say that I rode the entire Red Cedar Trail, which I've wanted to do since I was a kid.

In a last bit of cycling news, I've signed up for another group ride! It was one that I hadn't heard of before, but happened to be in a newsletter from my local bike shop. It's Tour de Pink on September 11th, a pledge ride for the Pink Ribbons Project. I'm planning to ride the metric century route, which, fortuitously, fits perfectly into my century training schedule also. I'll have a separate post begging you for donations in the near future. I'd do it now, but my personal donations page over there is currently blank except for the donation meter. I'm embarrassed to link it until I've put something clever in there (or, something, at least) to fill up the white space. :)

In non-bike news, my bottom wisdom tooth continues its hostile takeover of the right side of my face. It now controls most of the Right Cheek region, and possibly the village of Lymph Node to the south of Jawline. The good news is, the top right wisdom tooth has stopped trying to send reinforcements, so the pressure that was driving into my top teeth is now gone. The bottom one continues to swell and throb, though it does get better in the middle of the day. I don't know if it's the Advil or the sitting upright. Either way, I think a dentist visit is imminent. I'm going to try to get in tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm trying not to eat anything that requires me to bite through it completely or chew on both sides. Sigh.

A 3-hour p3p rally for public schools, and other things which are painful

I didn't get my ride in last night, because I spent my entire evening at a music/speech rally that Noah's school music group had a small part in. They were the third act of 15 or so (with mind-numbing speeches between them), and since I was under the impression that all the groups would be performing together at the end of the event, we stayed for the whole thing. As it turned out, all the groups just stood together at the end. I stood in the stands, clapping and thinking "I want my 3 hours back."

Don't get me wrong--the music groups did a great job, and that part of it was entertaining. It was just way, WAY too long, and they didn't follow the agenda on the program (which aggravates my more OCD side), so I had no idea how long it would be before it was over. The last act was a really talented HS band, but by that time I was just sitting there thinking "get on with it already so I can go HOME."

Adding to my misery was the fact that, since I thought it was going to be over in an hour, I didn't eat dinner beforehand. Also, my bottom-right wisdom tooth has been pushing its way in for a day or two, which happens every few months. Usually, it hurts for a day or two and then goes back down. This time, I think it's gotten infected or absessed or something. By the time this event was over, my jaw was totally swollen and in serious pain. So, to sum up, I spent all of last night bored, starving, and teething. I was one charming individual by 9:00.

The tooth issue is still ongoing, but I'm better medicated today. If it doesn't go away on its own by Friday, I'm going to see a dentist for some antibiotics and an oral surgery appointment. This happened 5 years ago, too, and I've been putting off the surgery since then. I think it's time.

Hmm...I wonder how much wisdom teeth weigh? :)

I'm not dead! I feel fine...

...I think I'll go for a walk. :)

No, I didn't drop off the face of the earth this weekend. I've been working, working out, going to the bike store, shuttling Noah places...I've actually been writing things, too, like actual posts and stuff. What happens, though, is that after a paragraph or two they all just ramble off into pointlessness. Once they cross the line to tedium, I stop and save them to draft thinking I'll work on them later...and then don't. So even though I've written 3 posts since Friday, none of them have made it past half-finished. I have high hopes for this one, though it isn't shaping up to be terribly interesting so far.

So anyway, there's good and bad news on the fitness front. The good news is, I'm right on schedule for the century training, and things are going well. I put about...(looking it up)...66-68 miles on my bike last week (Sun-Sat), and I plan to put about 86 more on this week. Four 14-mile rides, and one 30-mile. I decided to skip over week 2 and do week 3 this week, and then do weeks 8 & 9 twice. Or, at least, I think that's how it worked out.

I'm getting better at keeping the HR within the aerobic range, or at least lower than I was before. There were still times on the long ride that I saw low 160s before I brought it back down again, but I think that will continue to get better. I rode on the trainer last night, and kept my HR in the 130s-140s the entire time. We'll see how I do with the hill ride tonight, which I'll also be doing on the trainer. I'm tentatively planning 2-minute higher-intensity intervals to simulate hills.

I'd really rather do every ride outside, because even though the temperature's better indoors, trainer rides are booooring. Seriously. It was all I could do to get in an hour last night, even watching TV. They're also frustrating because I can't get a good average speed going. I think I averaged 12-13 mph on the trainer, with a high of 15.4. Disheartening, because having a lower average speed means I have to go longer on the damned stupid boring trainer to get my 14 miles in. I tried adjusting the resistance, thinking that maybe I just had it too high, but it didn't help much. I guess those little rolling inclines on the road make a lot of difference in my overall speed. I may start doing trainer rides by time, outdoor rides by distance.

Some more good news--my shoes came on Friday, so I was able to switch to clipless pedals. Love them (and the shoes--they're very comfy, and well ventilated). I was a little worried about falling while I learned the finer points of clipping in and out, but I didn't have any trouble at all. I rode ~33 miles on Saturday, and only almost fell twice--once at a gas station when I tried to get off the bike with one foot still clipped in, and once at a stop sign where I tried to stay clipped in for a rolling stop, which turned into a complete stop when the cross-traffic moved slower than anticipated. Both times, I was able to clip out before I tipped over, so no harm. I got the bike refitted Saturday afternoon, because my right knee felt funny after the ride. As it turns out, my seat was too far forward and about an inch too low. The guy also adjusted the float (float? I think it's the float) on my pedals so that I can clip out more easily, but I don't think I like them so loose. My left foot wiggles as I pedal, and it's annoying. I'll probably tighten them a little tonight, at least that side.

So that's all good news. The bad news is...my weight is not coming down. I've actually gained another pound and a half since Friday, despite having exactly zero days over 2000 calories, and most under 1700. I'm not really sure what's going on--my wedding ring isn't tight, which is usually how I gauge my water retention. I don't look any bigger, my clothes aren't tighter. The TOM I thought had come early? It came and went without even getting serious--couple days of spotting and that was that.

So, I stand by my statement that my body is doing some weird, weird shit right now. It may just be that it's adjusting to riding 4-5 times per week instead of once, or I may not be drinking enough water...it could be any number of things. Anyway, I'm hoping that the measurements on Friday will tell a better story than the scale has been. And, of course, that the scale will straighten up and fly right, posthaste.

Let's see...other news. Haven't got much, I guess. Things are pretty much the same. I haven't posted a Hometown 20 weekly report, just because the gain is kind of bumming me out. I guess that's not really a good reason to shirk my challenge, but I think I'm going to stew over it a little longer before I lay it all out in a report. The fact that my records from last week are a little spotty adds a level of difficulty, too. I'm not ready to tackle it yet.

I also need to get cracking on the work fitness points, though I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. Adding another workout on my riding days seems like it would be a step on the path to overtraining, which is not a route I want to take. I may just start logging a point on riding days, even though I don't use the work facility. There's no rule that says that it has to be an onsite workout, but I think it's sort of implied. If nothing else, I can start bringing my bike to work and riding over my lunch hour or something to make it count toward the incentive. Whatever it takes to bring on the prizes. :)

awwww

The hometown hospital now has last week's babies online. Behold--my baby brother. I can't wait to meet him. :)

this morning's adventure

It takes special kind of moron to lock her keys in a car whose driver's door will not lock if the keys are in the ignition.

It takes an even more special kind of moron to store her spare set of keys in the glove compartment of her car.

I, oh Internet, am just such a moron.

Last night when I got back from the gym, I took the keys out of the ignition and threw them into Gigantor. After gathering up my ipod and cell phone, I got out and shut the driver's side door, heard the lock click, and realized that my keys weren't in my hand. When I looked in through the window to see my bag sitting on the passenger seat, I'm pretty sure my cries of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

I tore the house apart searching for my spare set of keys. At about midnight, I finally resigned myself to the fact that, yes, they were also IN THE DAMN CAR.

I could have called a locksmith then, I suppose. However, one of the unrequested and expensive options I got with my car was an Extra Mile package that included roadside assistance for 36,000 miles. Why pay $75 for a service I could get for free? Trouble was, the documents explaining the specifics of my Extra Mile service were....IN THE DAMN CAR. (I'm such an idiot. God.) So I decided to wait till the dealership opened in the morning, and went to bed.

This morning, I called the service department about 30 seconds after they opened. I explained my situation, he gave me a number to call. I called this number, which turned out to be the rental car portion of the Extra Mile team, and also happened to be staffed by a customer service rep who had an extra heapin' helping of Bitch Flakes for breakfast. After much exasperated sighing and asking me if I had called the police (why would I call the police? I paid for roadside assistance!), she finally transferred me to another department. Who took my VIN and told me that I needed to call yet ANOTHER number.

The good news is, once I got to roadside assistance, they were actually quite pleasant. A few minutes later, a roadside assistance company was dispatched with a 45 minute ETA. It was 7:45. I shot an email off to my boss, explaining that I was going to be late due to my own dumbassedness (maybe not in those words).

The guy got there right after the Extra Mile automated service called me to see that the work had been completed. If the bot hadn't disconnected me before I could tell it that, no, the service had not been completed, I would have felt kind of bad for reporting the guy late. As it was, it worked out fine.

I was very impressed by the air jack tool he used to open my door. I haven't locked my keys in my car for a couple years, and they've made significant advances in unlocking technology since then. He just stuck this balloon thing in the seal of the door, inflated it, and reached a little tool through the opening to press the unlock button. I asked him if you could just go buy one of those bad boys at a store somewhere...alas, no. In fact, it was pretty much illegal to have one unless you unlocked cars for a living. Damn. But I guess it's just as well...if I had one, I'd probably decide to keep it IN THE DAMN CAR.

After exchanging various stories about getting arrested at traffic stops, stealing condiments from restaurants and the other myriad uses for gigantic tote bags, and also my driver's license and mileage information, we went our separate ways--he to his truck, me to carry the spare keys immediately into the house before driving to work. I mean, he was a nice enough guy, but I'd just as soon never see him again.

alas, still no sisters

My dad called me this morning...stepmom had her baby by c-section at around 7:00 last night. A 7-pound, 3 oz baby boy, both mom and baby are doing fine. I won't deny that with 5 brothers already, I was hoping for a sister. But I'm so excited for them nonetheless!

Welcome, Benjamen Cole. I think you're gonna like it here. :)

36 workouts = a rental car and some cycling shoes

My quarterly fitness incentive gift certificate came yesterday, and I had a devil of a time deciding where to spend it. Amazon.com wasn't an option anymore, sadly--they aren't affiliated with the gift certificate place anymore. In the end, I decided on Budget Rent-a-Car to cover my rental when I go home in September, and the remainder at REI. I think I'm going to buy some cycling shoes.

I know I've said this before, but I can't BELIEVE that I was too lazy to take advantage of this benefit for the first 3 1/2 years I was here. I was just throwing money away!

unfortunately, it's a figurative weight

The house sale funded this afternoon, and it is officially someone else's property now. I think if it hadn't taken so long to sell and then to close, I would have mixed feelings about this--first house I ever owned and all that. Since it's a "finally!" kind of situation, though, all I can feel is relief. Like a 1000-lb. weight has been lifted from my shoulders, baby. I'm FREEEEEEE!

only 5 days till the weekend

If all goes well, I will no longer be a homeowner after noon today. It better go well, because I signed my papers and handed over my keys and garage door openers. Not to mention planned my debt-paying strategy for being credit card-free by 2006, and not having a 2nd house payment factors hugely into that plan. The realtor and the title agent both assured me that this deal will fund today, but after all that we've been through with this house? I'll believe it when I see the escrow refund, kids.

In other news, I rode about 40.5 miles on Saturday. I was a little disappointed that altering my route didn't add more than a mile and a half to the distance...the way back is much shorter than the way there, apparently. If my bike odometer is to be believed, it's about 24 miles to the La Madeleine, but only 16 back. Not exactly half and half, like I was thinking it was...I guess that last 16 miles just seems longer. I briefly considered taking a lap around the neighborhood to bring me up to 45 miles, but decided against it. I finished the ride in just under 3:12, averaging 12.5 mph. I stopped 4 times--once at 11 miles, then for breakfast, then at two gas stations at turning points on the way back. I tend to stop more on the way back because it's considerably hotter, and my bike's frame doesn't allow for more than one water bottle or easy access to the one I do have. Having to stop for water is a pain in the ass, but with my general lack of coordination, it's probably best even if I could reach the bottle from a riding position. At any rate, the stops added about 45 minutes to my overall time, most of which was the breakfast stop. I left the house at 7:19 am, got back just after 11.

Other than the ride on Saturday and a long cardio workout on Friday, I didn't do much of anything fitness-wise this weekend. The scale is still being uncooperative, though it did dip down under 180 on Saturday morning. I'm not sure what's up with my body, but I'm confident that it will sort itself out eventually. I can be patient.

No, really. I CAN.

The house didn't close today. It was really just as well, because it took me all day to clean it. It's amazing to me how dirty a house can get even when no one's living in it. After seeing it for the first time in months, I think it's a small miracle that it sold at all...I didn't realize that it was about 3 half-hearted broom-swipes away from filthy. Good God. Kind of makes me wish that I had checked on it more often--maybe I could have gotten a better price if I had come by to clean it regularly.

Oh well, bygones. It's now as clean as it's ever been, and the sale closes at 2 pm tomorrow. All that's left is a trip to the bank, and I'm out of the real estate business for good. Or until we decide to sell the house we're in now, anyway.

Work continues to be busy, so I'm enjoying this day off even if I did spend 6 hours of it cleaning. I thought about going to the gym today, but I'm pretty well exhausted. I had to return yesterday's U-Haul by 7:00 this morning, so I was up at the crack of dawn. Once I got there, I realized the flaw in yesterday's decision to leave my car at the house instead of the U-Haul parking lot. Thankfully, the U-Haul place is only 2-3 miles away from my old house, but that distance totally seems shorter by car than on foot. I got lost walking through another part of the subdivision, since I didn't normally go through there at all when I lived in Copperfield. I made it to the house in less than an hour, though, so it wasn't so bad. However, add that to a cleaning marathon and I'm all in. I think I'll do an upper body Kathy tonight so I can have a week with 2 strength workouts at least once this month, but I'm going to scrap the 3rd interval workout this week. I's tired.

My calories have been really well under control this week. I'm not completely sure about yesterday, but I think that it came in under 1600. The day before was in the 1800s, 1600s on Monday. I'm doing it without even really trying, too, which is really the only way I ever can do it. Being busy has helped...a lot of my overeating comes from not having anything better to do.

And finally, I stepped on the scale this afternoon, because I forgot this morning and I wanted to get an idea what tomorrow's going to be like. The scale has been stingy the last few days, even with the unintentionally good eating. I was seeing low 180s every day. Today, in the afternoon, with a shirt on, I was at 178.5! I think it might be a good weigh-in after all--provided I don't do anything stupid tonight, of course. Maybe I should just go to bed now.

tidbits

This blog has been pre-empted by life. It will return to its regularly scheduled programming sometime next week. In the meantime, some quick updates:

The Saturday ride didn't happen--front brakes were rubbing, a tantrum was thrown, and a trip to the gym followed.

Weekend eating was solidly okay.

Madagascar (the movie) was a disappointment.

Batman Begins was not.

I walked/ran 3 miles in just over 42 minutes yesterday.

My right hand swelled up and went numb during this run, and I don't know why.

I ate less than 1700 calories yesterday.

I drank 2.5L of water too, though I think it all stayed with me in the form of PMS bloat.

I've been craving sandwiches for 4 days...not sure what that's about.

The South Beach Diet wraps are good.

The work Project From Hell is ongoing. Progress is negligible.

I was at work for 14 hours yesterday, though not continuously.

I almost had to get medieval on an HP phone tech before they would ship all the parts we needed. Or didn't need. I don't know. The parts that fixed the last 3 servers with EXACTLY THE SAME HARDWARE ISSUE AS THE ONE THAT WENT DOWN AT &*%!#! 5:05 LAST NIGHT, anyway. Even after I gave him the case numbers of our other 3 problems. Somehow, the 4 parts arrived anyway. Either he had a change of heart, or the dispatch guy heard the homicide in my voice when he called.

My house sale closes in two days, and I haven't even called to turn off the utilities yet.

Or cleaned.

Or gotten everything out of the house.

Or paid my outstanding balance with the HOA.

Or gotten word from my agent on what I will need to bring to closing.

Aaaiiieeee!

I got nuthin'

the title speaks true.

Yesterday wasn't as saintly as I had hoped it would be, but today is better so far. Man, I need to copy that sentence and throw it into a template, eh?

I'm looking forward to dinner tonight, because if all goes well it will include fresh tomatoes, and also grilled chicken breasts that I didn't cook. Oh, and chips...but it can't all be healthy, right? Even with the chips, my day comes out to less than 1600 calories, and I am totally going to work out tonight. No, REALLY. Not like yesterday afternoon and last night, when I kept telling myself that I was going to go "in a little bit", and then "later" and then "after 9" and then "when the 2nd wind kicks in", all the while continuing to stuff myself with food. But let's not talk about that. Bygones.

Yes, I am definitely going to work out tonight, but I'm not sure what exactly to do. Right now, I'm leaning toward a "why the hell did I eat all that bread" hour-long interval workout on the precor, but I need to do weights twice this week too. So I don't know. All I know is that if I don't work out tonight, I may as well just kiss this week's workout schedule goodbye. Slack begets slack, etc.

My First Flat and other stories

What a weekend. I think I can safely say that I've taken care of all my unhealthy eating for a while. We'll see how I feel about that tomorrow, but right this minute I am so done with bbq, buffalo wings, movie popcorn, pie, ice cream cake, cheese enchiladas, bacon cheeseburgers, french fries, doughnuts, corn chips, and regular soda. All of which I have consumed in the past 3 days, by the way, though not necessarily in that order. There may have been some pizza in there, too, but it's all a blur at this point.

It's weird, because the weekend started out normally. I had some comp time Friday afternoon, so I left work around lunch time and headed home. I stopped for the burger (which kind of set the tone for the weekend eating, looking back on it), then got home and took Noah to the pool for the afternoon. Followed this up with the cheese enchiladas. And the ice cream cake.

Partially as penance for the food indiscretions of the night before, I headed out for a 40-mile ride Saturday morning even though I didn't really feel like it. By about 10 miles in, I was starting to get into my groove...I decided to only stop three times--every 10 miles or so, eating breakfast at the middle stop. I took a longer route this week, so I was fired up about having a 45-ish mile ride under my belt. My longest distance ever!

I was less than two miles from the restaurant that would be the second rest stop when disaster struck. I was rocking along at 15-16 mph on a flat stretch of road, when all of a sudden I felt a little jerk, then heard a ting-ting-ting sound coming from my back tire. The hell?

I pulled over and stopped, my heart sinking as I heard the hissing sound coming from the back tire. At about the same time, I saw the cause of the problem...a 3-inch heavy-duty nail that had entered the top of the tire and exited the side. The tinging sound I had heard was the tip of the nail ticking against my bike's frame as the wheel turned. Since I had no flat-changing supplies or experience, I knew this was the end of the road for me.

Luckily, the flat happened less than a half-mile from a really nice park, on a road that had a bike/hike trail (which I hadn't used because the shoulder is faster...though now I wish I had). I walked my bike across the grass to the trail and called Rob to come pick me up at the park. According to my bike computer, I had ridden just under 22 miles. *grumble*

The rest of the weekend was given over entirely to gluttony and sloth. I didn't even do laundry. I did take the bike to a shop on Sunday night and let them change my tire and tube for me. The tire was borderline, but with the two holes from the nail and a little bit of fraying at the edge in one place, I decided to just replace it all. The process didn't look terribly complicated when he did it, but he had all those special tools and that maintenance rack thing. Though, he did pop the first tube and have to do it all again, so I guess it would have been a bit of an ordeal to do it myself in the field even if I had been prepared for it. Especially since Rob and I took several minutes getting the front tire off to fit the bike in the damn trunk (the brakes are adjusted a bit tight). Mechanics, we are not.

So anyway, my weekend sucked, fitness-wise. I have been a saint today, though, and will hopefully continue to be for the rest of the week. Whether that will counteract my weekend remains to be seen.

Unsolicited Minnie update--bon voyage, li'l pilgrim

Well, I just sent Minnie to Apple. She's out of my hands now.

I'm a little nervous though, because I did this by bringing the box to the mailroom and leaving it on the counter with the bright yellow and red DHL express boxes--which, incidentally, I walked right past to ask the mailroom guy if we had a DHL pickup...d'oh! Nothing makes my afternoon quite like having 3 mailroom guys make fun of my mad observational skills. :)

S'okay, though, because they can go ahead and think I'm stupid...it's sort of true when it comes to shipping things, actually. I can never remember where the interoffice mail goes, or what time UPS comes, or any of that. Of course, you could argue that I don't really need to know, since I can just leave stuff on the mailroom counter and it magically arrives at its destination. But I digress.

In spite of my complete inability to ship anything without making an ass of myself, I'm sort of a control freak about the whole shipping process. The last time I sent something UPS, I insured it for twice what it was worth, checked the tracking number 4 times in 3 days (ground shipping!) and called the recipient twice. You know, just to make sure "delivered" meant what I thought it meant. Only one package of mine has ever been lost, but I can't seem to let down my guard. I think it's part of my overall trust issues.

So anyway, I would have felt better if I had been able to hand the box to the DHL guy myself. I'd look into his eyes, and say "This is my broken ipod being entrusted to you. Please ensure that it is delivered safely to Apple, so that I may get a working ipod back. Lose it, and I'll kill you. What? This isn't your regular route? Okay then, first I will find you, then I will kill you."

These sorts of speeches are the reason I'll be banned from the UPS store someday, I'm sure.

So, hopefully the mailroom counter will work its magic, and Minnie's on her way to Apple. I'll be compulsively checking the tracking number until I'm notified of her safe arrival, of course.

UPDATE: My case status reports that they received the package 6/11. Insert huge sigh of relief [here].

the world has moved on

For the past several weeks (maybe months), I've been using my commute time to listen to audiobooks. Rob has an audible.com subscription that he wasn't really using, and I have about 90 minutes of car time every day, so it seemed like a good way to catch up on my "reading". After finishing with a David Sed@ris and quitting in the middle of a collection of classic short stories that was ruined by one of the worst narrators ever, I decided that I would give S+ephen King's Guns1inger series a go. I had tried to read the first book of the series about 2 years ago, but couldn't get into it. I thought maybe if someone was reading it to me, it could hold my attention more.

The first hour or so was a little rough--long on description, short on action--but after that, the story started to take me. Over the next weeks, I ran through the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th books driving to and from work, and by the 4th book I was going on long walks just to have more time with the story. I was hooked, in large part due to the narrator--he was fantastic. His regional accents sounded true, his characters had distinct voices that stayed the same every time they spoke...he even did women well. Over the 72 hours I spent listening to these books, these voices were as familiar as people I talk to every day.

In the fifth book, they changed narrators, back to the guy who did the first book. I didn't think much of it when I bought the audiobook, but now that I'm about an hour in, it's a jarring experience to hear the characters speak in different voices. His voices for Roland and Jake are passable, but he can't seem to get Eddie or Susannah (or even Oy) worth a damn. A lot of times, I can't make a distinction between the voice of the narrator and Eddie...if he's doing a New York accent, I can't hear it. And Susannah doesn't really sound like a woman. I was so disappointed in the car this morning that I almost cried.

Once I got to work, I looked at the reviews on audible.com and noted the general agreement with me, and one that acknowledged that listeners would miss the voice of Frank Muller for the first hour or so...due to his "sad absence"? This got my curiosity up, and a quick Google came through with this. Disabled by a motorcycle accident in 2001. What a tragedy...he had such talent.

I'm going to go ahead with W0lves of Calla, give George Guid@ll a chance to warm up a little. After all, I've already bought the audiobook, and he had a tough act to follow. Maybe he'll get better as the book goes on. If he still doesn't grab me by the end, though, I'll finish the series in real-book form.

weekend update

This is absolutely the longest Monday.

I had a nice, productive weekend, starting with a weigh-in of 179. Why can't the decent weigh-ins ever happen on the official day?! I followed that up with a just-over-39 mile bike ride. It was actually more like 2 20-mile rides, since I stopped for breakfast for 30 minutes at the halfway point. According to my HRM, the entire ride was 3 hours and almost 17 minutes (not including stops) and burned nearly 2000 calories. Damn. You'll be happy to know that I resisted the urge to eat 4000 calories in response. When I added up my calories eaten at the end of the day, they were right around 2300.

About 30 seconds before I embarked on the ride, I had gotten a call from work saying that a server was down at one of our locations that doesn't work weekends. Since it also is one of our locations that has frequent power issues, I told them to give it a couple hours since there was no one there anyway, and I'd call them in the afternoon. If it was still down, it was probably hardware and I'd go fix it then. So when I got back from the ride and showered, I called. It was still down, and after some back-and-forth about whether I'd even be able to get into the building after hours, I went in and replaced some hardware. What a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon!

Sunday was uneventful, though I did have an uncommonly high energy level. In the morning, I managed to get a bit of a workout being a freak for the amusement of a hundred 5 to 11-year-olds (kid's church--I was co-leader this week). In the evening, I tried to go out for a long walk, but was thwarted by a stalker waspish-looking bug. He started pursuing me about a mile in, and all manner of water bottle-waving and skittering from the ditch to the shoulder would not shake him from his course. At about 1.5 miles, panic set in and I started shooting water at the thing and running. This apparently enraged him, because he followed faster and closer, and managed to sting my leg a little. At this point, all sanity left me, and I did this weird jig in the middle of the outbound lanes of the main subdivision road, frantically trying to brush the evil thing off my leg, shoot it with water, and run away from it at the same time. Only the first part was actually accomplished.

I ran full-out the final 1/4-mile home, crossing the 4-lane boulevard at a panicked diagonal. The 1-2 hour workout I intended was shortened to 28 minutes, and the terror-run didn't do my right knee and hip any favors. I have to say, though, that I am damn lucky that there isn't a whole lot of traffic on that road at 8 pm on Sunday. The state I was in, an 18-wheeler could have been barrelling down on me and all I would have been thinking as it flattened me was "WASP! BEE! OW! STING! EVIL! DROWN!" I don't like bugs. Like, really. Bitey little bastards.

In other news, the meal planning is going well. After the server I fixed Saturday went down again this morning*, my original plan for today got sort of hosed, so I had to eliminate a snack in order to give the new reality the WDSoA. Hopefully, I won't miss it when 3 pm rolls around.

*This was half-expected...it's the same model as this one, and showing the same symptoms. In fact, that's the server I replaced it with, since the latest parts from the vendor seemed to have fixed that one. We had already moved the data to another server by then, though, so it was just a spare. That whole drama's not really the point, though, so whatever.

in which I have much to say, and very little time in which to say it

I've got a very high profile project going today and probably throughout the week, so I wouldn't count on much posting here during the day for a while. I'll try to post at night.

The holiday weekend was good, though I wish I could take back the 10 billion or so calories I consumed. Ah well, bygones. I did burn a whopping 1500 of them with a longish bike ride on Sunday, though. I've discovered a really nice 30-mile route with wide shoulders, some bike paths, and only a couple scary-traffic left turns. Whee! I have the stats from that ride and the rest of the workouts from this weekend, but not here. I'll post those later today, when I get home. Hopefully.

The Giant came and cleaned our garage while we were at church Sunday, hauled some furniture away, and helped organize the inside of the house, thus confirming one of the many reasons we love him so. I resisted on a couple things...a chair that I have no place for but can't seem to let go of, a table that I had to write a strongly worded letter to a now-defunct furniture store in order to finally get delivered. In the end, the table went and the chair stayed. (More about that whole thing might be coming, probably at the journal site because it's more on-topic there.) We spent Monday at the Giant's house, eating steak and playing Halo. Or in my case, watching Halo. Because the playing? There are no words to describe how much I suck at that. My video game skills topped out somewhere around the first Legend of Zelda, I think. If the objective was to run into walls and fall to your death from ledges while pointing your gun directly at the ground, though, I would be grand champion of the world.

So, yeah, if you throw in some laundry and vacuuming, that was essentially my weekend. I'm back in the weight-loss game today, and if I'm going to make a workout today, it has to be now. Back later tonight.

The TOM that ate the world

You'd think that after, oh I don't know, 17 years of full-fledged womanhood, however irregular, I'd know that my body likes to place PMS TWO weeks before TOM, not one. And yet, I fall for it every time. "Hmm...I'm feeling normal again. I guess I'm skipping a month. Hey, maybe I'm pregnant!" 4 days later: "Oh, wait--no, I'm not. Crap."

And this one's bad. Heavy, crampy...which is weird, because it actually came pretty much on schedule. What's with the bloaty, crabby crampiness? Despite all the stuff I have to get done today, all I can think about is how damned uncomfortable I am. Sigh. I'm glad that my body's finally giving me two months in a row, but it almost makes me wish that I would go back to once or twice a year again.

And this concludes the TMI portion of our program. :)

I didn't update with workout stats last night because Noah was on the computer most of the evening. He's discovered some multi-player game that he and his friends play online, so he spends the night on the phone with one friend or another, playing the same game. "Are you in the castle? I don't see you. Oh, okay. Go to the trophy room. No, the trophy room. Okay, I see you. Did you get the [complicated name of weapon]? Here, I'll trade you for the [indecipherable made-up tool]."

And so on. For hours. At first, I was glad he was keeping in touch with his friends from the old neighborhood, but it's getting a little ridiculous. We're about to start enforcing computer time rules so we can get out of the house on time in the mornings, I can use my own machine every once in a while, and he can get re-acquainted with a thing I like to call "actual human contact". (This from the mom who avoids face-to-face conversations as much as possible.)

At any rate, I've still got Friday's and Saturday's stats written down somewhere and yesterday's are still on the HRM, which I left in the car. The next post is stats, I promise...at the very least, the ones I can retrieve from the parking lot.

Entering my food from yesterday into fitday was a little scary. Nearly 2500 calories, people. I don't know what I was thinking...mostly, I wasn't. I was home grazing most of the day, then I went to the gym and brought home takeout. I don't do very well at all without structure and routine, as it turns out. Again.

Today, it's going better. Everything's planned out...food, workouts, down to the last morsel and movement. The long walk's going to depend on the heat in the evening, but I think it'll be fine. If all goes according to plan, I'll have just over 1700 calories for the day. If I can keep that up till Friday, I might actually see a loss this week! A girl can dream...

No, really. With a K.

Workout stats from Friday and Saturday will be coming later today, after I get home. Noah has a choir performance this afternoon that I'm attending, and then I'm hoping I can take him home afterward. Then I can sit at the house and moan for a while before I drag my ass to the gym.

My foot felt better this morning than it has lately, but it's still not ready for running. Not ready for prime-time, as they say. I can probably walk a pretty fair distance, but it will surely be hotter than the blazes by 3:00 or so. It's only slightly cooler than the blazes right now. I guess if we're going to have some early July, it might as well be at a time when I'm not itchin' to get out there and run.

It was a hot weekend, too. Due to the joys of advance scheduling, Noah's soccer game was at noon on Saturday. Noon. It was 92 degrees in the shade, and there is no such thing as shade on those soccer fields. It was freakin' hot, and the kids who are normally clamoring to play 10 periods were ready to quit after 6. I can't say I blame them...I was ready to quit watching after one or two. Despite sunscreen (whose expiry status may have been questionable), the whole family is sporting sunburns varying in intensity from "got a little sun"(Noah) to "OH MY GOD my legs are on FIRE"(Rob). Mine's just on my shoulders and my chest, and should be okay by mid-week. Stupid tank top.

--later--

I'm at home now. Noah's choir performance turned out to be a drum performance, and I missed it anyway because I left work later than I intended and they were the first act in the show. I wish I had known this before I sat through the whole rest of the program. It was an end-of-year talent show at the elementary school. Aaaand let's just leave it at that. :) On the bright side, I took Noah home afterward, and we've been hanging at the house since then.

I got word yesterday that my cousin's wife had a baby boy. I'm very happy for them, and I hear he's a beautiful baby. I almost choked when my brother told me what they named him, though. I was half hoping that he had heard it wrong, maybe my cousin slurred his words in his excitement, whatever. Because surely no one in their right mind would name a child something that outrageous. When I talked to my aunt this afternoon, though, she confirmed it right down to an unusual spelling. I'd type it here, but I'm pretty sure he's the only one by that name in the entire known universe, and I don't want to hurt the parents' feelings if they happen to google it.

Let's just say that his first name is the same as a certain sheriff of Hazzard County, and his middle name is an abbreviation for a piece of demolition equipment, or perhaps what you might call someone who is taking a nap. He's certainly not going to be able to find novelty pencils and toy license plates with his name on them, that's for sure.

My relatives who live up there are saying that now that he's a day old, the initial "seriously?!" effect of the name has worn off, and it's sort of growing on them. Still, I can't imagine living 70-100 years with it. I guess it's a good icebreaker for him at parties, if nothing else, but I suspect the kid will going by R. D. by the time he's old enough to drive. Or maybe, as my aunt pointed out, "Ros".

But, you know, to each his own. He's healthy and they're happy, and that's all that matters in the end. I'm just hoping that by the time I actually go up there and have a chance to see him, I can say his name with a straight face. I've got till September, at least.

chatty

This weekend was solidly not that bad! I didn't eat the healthiest, but I also didn't eat the most, so I think it balanced out. I did work out on Saturday, and I did the kid's church jump-around-like-a-maniac thing for two services Sunday. And I finished all the laundry for the first time in at least a month, probably longer.

I was really, really tired, though. I'm not sure what's going on. I thought it was PMS, but it's been a week and shows no signs of going away. The M has also not arrived yet, so maybe PMS is just lasting longer than usual. Or it's phantom PMS, which I get sometimes since my cycles are so random. The low energy could also be a side effect from the junk food...who knows, really? Whatever the cause, I was nodding off mid-afternoon, and really wanted to go to bed at 8:00 last night. There were still two loads of laundry to be washed and dried at 8, though, so I was up a little while longer. Then I got my second wind, didn't go to bed till eleven, and was jerked from sleep at 4:00 in the dodgam morning by work. I managed to go back to sleep afterward, but it made getting up at 6:40 plenty hard. But hey--I have Downy-fresh gym clothes!

My weekly HRM numbers aren't going to be very accurate or impressive this week...I had a super-short run on Friday, and then forgot to pack the watch when I went to the gym on Saturday. It was a good workout (25 min. precor intervals, 25 min. treadmill intervals, burned around 400 calories?), but the exact stats were not recorded for posterity.

I am determined to see the 170s this week, though. I'm not that far away from them now, and may actually be within a lb once I get the water-drinking back up to 2-3L/day. If I can just keep my food under 1800 calories and my workouts on schedule, I'm confident I can see more than my typical half-lb loss this week. I mean, I'm not terribly concerned with how fast this goes...I'm still more concerned with looking better, feeling better, blah-blah, etc. Still, my personal incentives are tied to 5-lb weight increments, and I'd like to hit at least one of them by summer.

and lo, there was much rejoicing

I picked up my car this morning. I'm driving my car! MY car!

Yay!

whiiiine

My car's ready. It's been ready since Friday afternoon.

Why haven't I picked it up yet? BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN LEAVING MESSAGES AT MY OFFICE, even though I'm almost sure I gave them my cell number.

If I had been checking messages, I could have had my baby back 4 days ago. Now I have to wait till morning, because I left my wallet in Rob's car, and I don't have sufficient cash to buy lunch AND put gas in the rental to take it back without forfeiting my gas deposit.

*sob* I miss my car.

whee!

Aaaaahh. Hello, running track. Hello, office. Hello, messy stack of paper. Hello, bottled water. Hello, routine...I think I missed you most of all.

Last week was very, very slack, though I don't think I went terribly overboard with the food this weekend. On both days, I only ate once, twice at the most...but when I ate, I ate. My biggest problem was the exercise. I had the best of intentions all week long, but the only workouts I ended up doing were the runs. Monday, Wednesday, Friday...do you know how long it's been since I only worked out three days in a week? Long.

Mother's day was good...we went to church, we went to lunch, then I spent the rest of the day doing laundry. (I like laundry, actually, so it wasn't a hardship.) I intended to go to the gym after Cold Case, but I never made it. I started to feel a little sick mid-afternoon...nauseated, with a hot face and cold hands. I think something I ate didn't agree with me. Though my body kicked whatever it was fairly quickly and I feel fine today, I couldn't muster up the will to go to the gym last night.

So anyway, today's a fresh start. I cleared my HRM's weekly numbers (which I never posted the week before last because I'm a spacey idiot. But they were somewhere around 7 hours and 4000 calories for that week, and this week's workouts weren't recorded at all), prepped my workout bag, and made sure I had cash to get a salad from the office caterer. I didn't bring any snacks because we're out of fruit, and I seem to have lost my badge to get into the locker rooms, but other than that I'm ready to get back to business round here. Since the track is sort of muddy today, I think I'll drive to the gym anyway.

Oh, one more thing...since I flaked on last week's stats, I've decided that now would be a good time to move my weigh-in day. I'm going back to Wednesdays again. This gives me another day to get straightened out from the weekend, and also brings me back to the original schedule from way back in 2003. Okay, okay...you Friday weighers have won me over. I'm going to give that a try. Next weigh-in is 5/13. Ooooooh...Friday the 13th. (Cue Jason music.)

So this week will be all extra long, but then everything will be back to normal. Except that the week will run Wed-Tues Fri-Thurs instead of Tues-Mon.

life as I know it

hey.

I'm really, really tired of being in this class. I mean, the free food is nice, and the class is interesting I guess, but the drive is killing me and I miss my desk. The instructor is starting to get on my nerves, also. When she laughs, she looks like those hamsters on that Japanese cartoon show--Hamtero, I think? I also miss the workout facility at my office, which sounds weird to me as I type it...me, miss the workout facility? Yet, I do. I miss the track more than anything. :(

But whatever, I'm learning a lot, blah-blah. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to administer this system when we implement it, and probably not get fired. So yay!

I briefly mentioned the house offer late last week...well, I signed and faxed the contract this morning! I'm not calling it sold yet because I don't want to jinx it, but it is sooo very close to sold. The actual closing of the sale is going to cost us some money, but our bills go way down once we no longer have two mortgages. Which, if all goes well, should be July. So just one more payment, and I'm out of the homeowning business forevah. Rock!

I finally got around to choosing my gift certificates from the company fitness incentive today--amazon and lands end. I need some new clothes, and there's always something we "need" at amazon. It was a tough decision, though...they have maid services on there! Maid services! And spa retreats! I'm pretty sure you can't get a full spa package for less than $200...would make for a nice discount, though. And if a couple of quarters of fitness incentives would mean not cleaning my own toilets for a month or two? Kickass. Maybe that's what I'll choose next time.

I ran yesterday after Noah's soccer practice and before dinner. I didn't wear my HRM because I wanted to see if I could run for the fun of it (I do take all comments to heart, people). It went pretty well...the weather was nice, and I ran for 2 miles straight in about 29 minutes. I jacked up my knee a little bit playing a soccer scrimmage immediately before that (kids against parents--we won...though beating a group of 10-year-olds 1-0 is not exactly a crowning acheivement), so it hurts a little bit today when I do any kind of lateral movement. Beyond that, though, it was a typical road run. I can't say it was "fun" to do it without the HRM, but it was...liberating, I guess. I was only worrying about time and distance, so I'm sure that my HR was up higher than I would have let it get otherwise. I did realize that my endurance when I don't know how fast my heart is going is higher than when I do. What you don't know won't hurt, I guess...or won't make you want to stop every 10 minutes, anyway. I'm still going to use the HRM for the runs, but it's not going to factor into my training adjustments much. I'm going to try to make it to 45-minute straight runs before I start paying attention again.

Anyone who thinks I shouldn't care about my speed, though? You'll get my stopwatch when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers. ;)

!!!

Hey! I'm here! But I'm not weighing today! Because I'm a big humongous bloated cow!

So yeah, tune in tomorrow.

Also, I'm in a training class for the rest of this week that is requiring my full attention. It's also limiting my internet access and stuffing me full of food. Well, I guess it's me that's stuffing me full of food...but there were cookies! And free lunch!

I plan to show more restraint tomorrow, though, I promise.

looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays

I'm tired and achy today, and on the list of all the places I want to be at this exact moment, work doesn't even make the top 10. Especially since there's really only one item on the list anyway--home, in bed.

On the bright side, I did manage to pack everything necessary for today's run--clothes, shoes, socks, HRM (both parts!), water, ipod, headphones, keycard for the locker room. Of course, it took nearly half an hour and 6 trips to the car and back in again (complete with the locking of the front door each time) to finally get everything into Gigantor. But I consider that right on schedule for a Monday.

Speaking of Gigantor, the bag's working out better than expected. I'm getting used to hefting it over my shoulder every day, and it even feels a little less ridiculously-huge every time. Sometimes I find things at the bottom that I forgot I owned, but overall I'm glad I went with the largest size. I can carry a full-size bottle of shampoo, brush, two sets of workout clothes, all my various gadgets, a mid-sized novel, and food for the day in just one bag, so I don't feel like a pack mule hauling everything into the office in the morning. And it does fit in a gym locker, so bonus!

I've decided to continue the 10:1 intervals for my run today, mostly just to see if my 2-mile time is still faster this time around than when I was doing them straight-through. I'm such a stats junkie. I'm also doing it before lunch again, because it's barely 70 degrees right now and I'm not really hungry anyway. May as well get out there and work up my appetite! Hell, maybe it will cheer me up and knock out the brainfog too, but I'm not counting on it. :)

woohoo!

Offer on the house! Offer on the house! Someone made an offer on my house!

Oh, please, God, gimme a contract.

Road rage

The insurance company finally cleared the repair from our accident almost 3 weeks ago, so I took my car to the dealership this morning. According to the preliminary estimate, the repairs are going to take two weeks. At least. The insurance company had set up a rental, so it's not like I'm homebound or anything...it's still sort of a pain, though, to have to learn a new car.

I'm also a bit of a car snob, I'll admit. Not in a luxury car sort of way...I don't care how much the car cost, but I do care what they look like and how they drive. I'm a T0yota girl, all the way. I've bought them exclusively since I was financially stable enough to be choosy, and I don't intend to buy any other brand, ever. Sure, they're not the flashiest cars in the world, but they're cute, and they'll run forever if you treat them right. The interior stuff is generally where I expect it to be, and if something isn't, I can usually intuit where it would be. They're logical, they're practical.

My rental, a Mercury S@ble, is not. I hate it. It took me a minute or two to find the windshield wipers, another 5 to find the effing cupholders. It's ugly and as big as a house. All the controls are opposite of where they would be on my car. It doesn't have running lights, which I'm so used to that I'll probably forget to turn the headlights on at least a dozen times in 2 weeks.

There are other reasons I'm pissed about this car. One, they booked it with my least favorite rental car company. Every car I have ever rented from them has been a super base model, and driven to death by 20,000 miles. This one seems to drive okay, but has the least options possible. No keyless entry is what really chaps me, but the lack of a CD player is disappointing, also.

Besides which, the insurance claim would only cover up to $23/day, and the rental company had no compacts available. I'm paying a $2/day flippin' upgrade charge for this car that I hate, plus the $10/day for comprehensive insurance I opted in for, at least until I get used to driving the bigger vehicle. So we're talking somewhere between $30 and $160 (depending on when I cancel the insurance coverage--which I may not do for reasons in the next paragraph) to drive this loathsome car for two weeks, because some distracted jackass ran a red.

Oh, and did I mention that I almost wrecked the damned thing this morning on the way to work? No? Well, I did.

It was raining, and I was slowing down for a red light. Right before I came to a complete stop, a Camar0 making a right onto my road took the corner too fast and skidded out of control, heading straight for me. I was able to swerve to the shoulder just enough for him to stop the skid before plowing into me, but my main thought was "shit, I guess it's a good thing I went for the insurance". I mean, it would have been his fault, but another accident would really have put the icing on my morning. At least I wouldn't have had to drive the Sable anymore.

I'm going to call the insurance company today and see about the possibility of returning this car and using T0yota Rent-a-Car from the dealership instead. It can't cost all that much more, and if I have to pay an upgrade charge for a car anyway, I'd rather it be one in which I can find the cupholders and climate controls in less than 30 seconds, without a a schematic and a flashlight.

(Did I mention that I really, really hate this rental?)

UPDATE: Aaaaand it's a billing thing. The insurance company has direct billing with the rental company, so that's why they go through them. If I wanted to go through the dealership, I would have to pay for the car and get reimbursed. Sigh. My snobbery only extends so far before it runs headlong into my impatience. I don't want to be out $300, and be at the mercy of the insurance company's timetable...particularly because it took them this long to even clear our claim this far. I'll deal with the Mercury, and see if the rental company can get me into a compact when one comes available.

apparently, memory's not the only thing I have in common with goldfish

I've had several gym bags in the past 3 years. The first year, I started with a standard-issue gym duffel. It was okay, but it was sort of ugly. Then I won a service award at work, and it came with a gym bag. I used that one for a while, and I liked that it had a separate compartment for shoes, but it was long and unwieldy. Then I'm pretty sure a cat peed in it, and that was the end of bag #2.

Bag #3 was a giveaway at a product release party...a mid-sized tote bag which really worked quite nicely. A couple months after I started using it, a large bottle of shampoo lost its cap in there and I couldn't use it anymore. Even after repeated washings, the shampoo still made a gluey mess all over my clothes. Bag #4 was another tote bag, but it was designed to be a reading bag for the beach. In order to fit a pair of shoes in there along with the workout clothes, I had to put things in a specific order, and I'm not one for specific order after I've worked out. It would be fine on the way to the workout, but on the way back the shoes were always perched precariously on the top and poking into my armpit.

So that's why, last week, I went looking for a new gym bag. I had exhausted my bag supply, so I went to Land's End looking for a tote bag with a zipper. Behold!

But...well. There's three sizes. I ruled the small one out right away, but was stymied by the dimensions on the other two. After a few minutes' hunting for a ruler, I shrugged and got the big one (in red). The bigger the better, right?

Well, this thing arrived yesterday, and it's friggin' GIGANTIC. 14 1/2 inches at the base, about a foot and a 1/2 tall, and a good two feet of zipper at the top. It looked like I could fit a body in there, I swear. Two cats slept in it last night. It's huge. I thought about returning it in favor of the middle size, but decided to load it up this morning anyway and see how it did.

You know how goldfish grow larger if you put them in a larger tank? My stuff does, too, apparently. After I put my workout clothes, shoes, snacks, iPod, water bottles, lunch, hair supplies, and workout routine papers in the bag, I was surprised to find not a whole lot of room in there anymore. All the side pockets were full, and I could maybe have fit another set of workout clothes or a bathtowel in there, but not both. The bag didn't look quite so huge anymore.

Well, now I'm off to try to cram it in a gym locker!

weekend update

I didn't have the best weekend, fitness-wise. No workouts, a lot of food, you know how it is. Mostly, it's because we were busy the whole time...Noah had a music festival Saturday morning starting at 9:00 (but I thought it started at 9:30, so there was some drama there. That smashed-up silver Corolla rocketing down I-45 at 8:45 Saturday morning, with the driver mumbling something about reading the effing note instead of taking the kid's word for it, and also about science's dire need to work on teleportation technology? That was me). That was over by noon, but then I had to run to Sam's for snacks for Noah's soccer game and kid's church, and drinks for Rob to bring to work--I had enough junk food in the cart that it probably looked like I was stocking a concession stand that specialized in diet soda, goldfish crackers, and non-chocolate candy.

Noah's game was at 3:00, then dinner, cleaning, bed. Sunday was church, laundry, a trip to Walmart for clothes Noah could wear to a play, because he apparently throws away his halfway-presentable pants after he wears them or something. Three loads of laundry, and not one pair of pants that he could wear to the theater. Then we picked him up from his friend's house on the way downtown, saw the show, and went slightly the wrong way home. You know, I've lived in the metro area for 7 years now, and I still don't know the best way to get to the freeway from downtown--any freeway. I can get into downtown fine from four different directions, but it's like a big ol' Roach Motel once I get there. I never know how long it's going to take me to get home, and I always end up driving through some seedy neighborhood nine miles out of my way before I find the road that will get me out.

Anyway. We got home okay (mostly because Rob was driving), and the weekend was done. I didn't make the time to work out at all, and I ate whatever was handy or sounded good at the time. Hopefully, today will be enough to detox before weigh-in tomorrow. This morning's number was not at all pretty.

some go to the ocean, some go to the mountains...

...we go to the Alamo.

Rob and I got back from San Antonio today, and other than a couple hairy situations, we had a great time. We stayed at a hotel on the river, and 90% of what we wanted to do was within walking distance. All weekend, I'm guessing we walked....800 miles or so?

Okay, more like 6-7. But by the 3rd day, it was beginning to feel like a lot more than that. :)

The first day was a little rough, seeing as neither one of us had been to San Antonio before. We took the hotel's back exit to the Riverwalk, and went in search of tourist traps. Also, a restaurant, since it was 6 pm and we had been driving for 3 hours.

Anyway, we got onto the sidewalk by the river, thinking, "well, this is nice enough", only there was nothing there. Rob started to walk to the left, but we kept running into people going the other direction. When I looked at the other side of the river, everyone was heading our direction. So, with no bridge in sight, I told Rob we should follow the rest of the people on our side of the river.

After walking about a mile, I began to wonder what was the deal with Riverwalk. Trees, blah, blah, bridge, walk-walk-walk, hotel, hey, look--riverboat!, tree, water, tree, etc. Where's the STUFF? We went street level and tried to puzzle it out up there, but only got more confused. As we were driving in, there had been tourists everywhere on Commerce Street, but I couldn't find Commerce Street. Besides which, what the hell did they all come here for? And where did they all GO? I started to look nervously for evidence of a mass alien abduction.

Well, about an hour went by, the only food we'd seen was the Mexican restaurant next to our hotel, and the only places of note that we'd seen were a little Catholic bookstore and a dodgy neighborhood over by the bus station. So, by this time, I'm thinking this is the worst vacation ever. I'm hungry, my feet hurt, we'd been walking for hours in a strange city, and did I mention I'm starving?

Hungry led to cranky, and we finally gave up and found our way back to our hotel. Just as we were about to ask the front desk where the hell we can eat (since, you know, THEIR RESTAURANT WAS CLOSED), Rob spotted the "Ask Jose" machine, which will give you directions to any of the tourist stuff if you insert your room key. It was love at first sight, me and Jose.

So anyway, we saw that Jose knew how to get to a steakhouse, and it was only ONE BLOCK from the hotel. I was skeptical, but following Jose's directions quickly showed us the error of our ways. If we had continued in the direction Rob wanted to go in the first place then taken the first left, we would have found exactly what we were looking for. Restaurants, street vendors, hotels, as far as the eye could see. And footbridges to cross from side to side! And here were all the missing tourists! Of course, we barely saw any of this, because we stopped at the very first restaurant that would have us.

To make a long story a little shorter, San Antonio was a much cooler place after we stopped wandering around like lost and ravenous bears. We browsed the good part of the Riverwalk, went to a cool church, took a riverboat tour, went to some art fair in La Villita (which was totally not worth the $3 admission), walked through the wax/Ripley's museum (these tickets were included with our package deal, or we probably wouldn't. Hokey, but one of the better parts of the trip...), and visited the Alamo. We ate great food, drank good wine, enriched our knowledge of Texas history, walked a lot, and were serenaded by Mariachis. Not a bad way to spend our anniversary weekend.

By this morning, though, we were both missing home and Noah pretty badly, and not the least bit sad that it was the last day. After breakfast and a walk through the Alamo (the one thing we hadn't done yet--it was closed when we were there the night before), we picked up the car and headed home, declaring the anniversary trip a resounding success.

And when a truck ran a red light and barreled into the side of our car, when we were barely 15 minutes from home? It didn't even seem all that bad.

And it wasn't...no one was hurt, and the car's still driveable. The guy braked when he saw us, and Rob had the presence of mind to speed up rather than put on his brakes. If he hadn't, I probably would be writing this from the local hospital using a pen stuck between my teeth. Thanks to my husband's mad driving skillz, the only casualty was my rear quarter panel. It's in critical condition, I'm afraid, and not expected to recover. It is expected to be replaced, though, at someone else's expense. So, yay!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

...especially not from a 10-year-old boy at 7 in the morning. This was the scene in our kitchen this morning:

Noah, flipping through Netflix envelopes, "Are these movies we watched or new ones?"
"They're new ones."
"What are they?"
"I don't know, we haven't opened them yet."
He started examining the envelopes, turning them over in his hands. "How do you open them?"

I never open them, and the way he was interrogating me was just weird, so I started stammering, "Um, I think you break the seal on the side and then open it like a book."
"Oh. Which movies are they?"
"I don't know, Noah. I think one of them is Garden State."
"I thought you said you didn't know."
"I don't know. I'm guessing, because that was in the queue. God."

A few minutes passed, then he noticed some money on the counter, which Rob had left for me to pay a bill.

"Whose four 50s are these?"
"Mine."

A pause. "Are you sure they're not Dad's?"

"Yes. They were Dad's, but he gave them to me."
"Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure you weren't stealing Dad's money."
"...!?"

That's me, shooting him a look but not dignifying that with a response (though let me just state for the record that I DON'T STEAL MONEY FROM MY HUSBAND). "Let's go, dude, you're late for orchestra. Oh, and give me my money."

Yeesh, even the boy knows who carries the cash around here. :)

free day

Both Noah and I have the day off tomorrow, but Rob has to work. I had assumed that Noah was going to hang out with me all day, but when we asked him last night, he said he wanted to go to daycare. They're having some kind of party, and he doesn't even want me to pick him up early. I suppose I should be questioning my son's love for me right now, but I choose to look on the bright side instead--a whole day to myself! I'm a little giddy over it, actually.

It has been beautiful outside the last few days, and the weather guys say that tomorrow is really the last day before the rain comes rolling in. I know I want to spend some time outside, but there are so many things I could do, I'm having trouble deciding.

Let's see...

* I might clean the garage. This would give us room to put the old living room furniture out there, so that I'm no longer vaulting the old coffee table to get to the computer. I could also move those two broken TVs out there until we decide to get them fixed.

* I might take a long bike ride. That sounds nice...if I put the carrier on the car, I could drive up to the place where the walk/bike trails start, and go all over the city. Or I could drive as far as the gas station and do a road ride up 2978 and 1488 instead. It's been a long while since I've ridden over 10 miles...my riding lately has been spinning classes only.

* I might shop. I can't really buy anything, since we may be going on a mini-vacation over our anniversary and I want to save my frivolous shopping budget for that. But I could go to the open air part of the mall and hit Ann T@ylor L0ft and the big bookstore. I also haven't found the perfect anniversary gift for Rob, so that would be a good time to find it.

* I might putter around the house with the TVs off and the windows open, and maybe read a book in the back yard in the afternoon.

* I might go to Home Depot and figure out how much it would cost to retile the master bath in the other house, and shop for a paint color for the living room. The new furniture blends into the walls a little more than I'd like, so I'm toying with the idea of painting. I think they had a similar problem on the Flintstones once...Wilma got new furniture, then she decided they just HAD to replace the carpet and get new wallpaper. Wait--I think that was Carol Brady. Whatever.

I don't know yet which I'll do, and I might just do all those things. Or none of them. Maybe I'll visit old friends, or plant flowers, or drive to Mexico. Who knows? Like I say...giddy with possibilities. :)

the new furniture

Well, I bought furniture tonight--just a living room set. It took me forever at three different stores to decide what we wanted (and they were the first ones we looked at, of course). Next week, beefy deliverymen will arrive with this sofa, love seat, and lamps:

And these tables:

The tables that came with the sofa grouping were sort of cheap-looking in person, and the wood was less dark and more red than the picture looks. The ones from the other set looked sturdier, and they were more of the walnut stain that I love. We didn't really need the cocktail table, since that's the one piece of our current living room furniture that I actually like (oak apothecary table...I like the drawers for hiding storing stuff). However, our end tables are garage sale specials, so I wanted new ones. They were running a sale where we got a better deal the more pieces we bought, so I just went with it all. This sort of breaks my Grandma's advice/words of wisdom, which I try to follow but usually fail--"You never save money by buying more than you need." She's far more thrifty than I am, obviously, which is probably why she's still living comfortably on her savings at 82. :)

Anyway...since I expect that it'll be about another 20 or 30 minutes before the buyer's remorse really sets in, I'm going to go to bed before it hits. Otherwise, I'll be awake all night worrying about whether I made the right choice and whether I could have gotten him to throw in the fabric protection for free if I had just asked (uh-oh...starting already). Hopefully I'll look at the pictures again in the morning and be okay with everything. We really did need new furniture, after all.

kibbles & bits

Highlight of my day so far: I used the correct discrete in an email just now. On looking up discrete & discreet(after sending the email, because I'm the sort of person that likes to do her crossword puzzles in ink), the definition was exactly the right word for what I was trying to say. Woohoo! I mean, I don't think the recipient of the email will even notice, but using an out-of-the-way word gives me a little thrill anyway.

God, I'm such a geek.

I did an easy workout yesterday, because I've been kicking my ass for the past 2 weeks and thought I could use a recovery workout. That, and it was a nice day, the track was dry, and I desperately wanted an outdoor workout. However, my shins were feeling a little splinty from running 2 days in a row, so I decided to walk. 3 miles in 49 minutes, heart rate never got above 140. It hardly felt like I was doing anything at all, making me remember why I started to move away from walking in the first place. I mean, my HRM said I burned 350 calories, which is great, but there's no challenge in it. I barely even broke a sweat. If not for Audrey on shuffle, I would have been bored out of my skull.

Still, it was a good change of pace. I may start doing recovery walks on my strength days, to start HR training. I've been reading (or skimming, really--I'm more of a fiction reader, and fitness books make me sleepy) this book that says that having longer recovery workouts at a lower heart rate between your more intense workouts helps bring your resting heart rate down over time. Mine isn't terribly high (mid 70s), but I'd like to get it down to the 60s, and also get rid of that nasty tendency to shoot into the 180s when I jog. If I tried to run a 5k right now, I think my heart would hammer its way right out of my chest.

It's another beautiful day outside, but I'm not going to get a chance to run the track today. When I was packing my bag this morning, I forgot my shoes. We have a company event starting at noon, anyway, so I'd have to come back here afterward to squeeze in a workout if I was going to do it. The event is open bar besides, so it's probably best that I don't run afterward. Or drive too far, now that I think about it. :)

After the company thing, I'm going to buy some furniture. I'm ridiculously excited about this. All of our furniture except for the master bedroom set is the same stuff we've had in our houses for 5 years. With 5 cats, it has been utterly decimated. Just an example--the cats have built themselves a lair inside the couch. Seriously--the entrance is a destroyed seam in the arm. You sit on the couch, you can usually feel a cat or two rolling around in there. You can also feel springs, pretty much all the time. It's definitely time for a new couch, so we're going to get a whole living room set. If there's enough money left from my budgeted amount, I'm going to pick up a dining table also. We have 2, but they're both cast-off college apartment crap. 6 chairs, no four of them matching. Hell, maybe we can finally get the house to a state where I don't feel like apologizing to people when we invite them over. :)

Reviewing that paragraph about walking just now, it hits me again how far I've come. I used to hate to sweat. Now, I'm complaining if I don't. That's awesome. I think it's also one of the reasons I'm not all that worried about ever being over 200 lbs again, even if my weight-loss has slowed considerably in the past year. I'm just not the same person I was 3 years ago.

Well, I'd better do some work now. Before I go, though, some mood music for today:

You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile (Yes, I do own the 1982 Annie soundtrack)

Every Heart Won't Let You Down - Greg Trooper

Dream Vacation - Gear Daddies (just for you, Nikki!)

Rock Ya Body - Stagga Lee

Right-click, save-as, keep arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, no parking between signs, objects in this mirror may be closer than they appear, etc.

odds & ends

I didn't end up finding time to re-write that big post I lost earlier, so here are some thoughts that I jotted down throughout the day...

According to my HRM, I exercised 3 hours, 23 minutes, and 53 seconds since Wednesday of last week, burning 1942 calories. Go me! I reset the cumulative numbers today, so I can keep track of weekly totals. So far this week, I'm at 52-odd minutes and 495 calories.

Speaking of gadgets--Rob bought me one of the new ipod minis! It was supposed to be an anniversary present, but it shipped earlier than he expected so he gave it to me early. She's pink, 6 GB, and her battery can go all night (heh). I've named her Audrey, for no real reason other than that's what came to me first. While I still hold a special place in my heart for Minnie, she has become the Dawn Weiner to Audrey's Missy. I may give her to Noah, but I haven't quite decided.

I had a nice conversation with my team lead today about weight loss. He's lost over 100 lbs in the past year, and it was nice to talk with someone who understands what it's like to lose a significant amount of weight. While I wouldn't call either of us obsessed really, it's not really a subject that a lot of people want to spend an afternoon discussing. We talked about workouts and food, advised on supplements, swapped gym stories, etc. for about an hour. It was like this site, only live. ;)

I'm hoping for a good weigh-in tomorrow...today's was pretty depressing, though expected. Weekends are rough with the spinning and the junk-eating and the no-water-drinking. I have found a routine the last couple Saturdays that I really enjoy, though. I go to the spinning class in the morning, then go to the La Madeleine in the shopping complex across the street for an omelet. I sit there and eat, reading and drinking coffee for about an hour. It's a nice little bit of alone time before I start the weekend. I wouldn't mind bringing Rob or Noah along every now and then, though.

I've decided to go to the 7:00 am Saturday spin class, now that the beginner class is over. They have one at 9:30, but I cannot stand the instructor. She subbed for the last beginner class, and I hated every minute of it. She's one of those "head cheerleader" personalities...all loud and bossy, pathologically perky. And she had absolutely no concept of what "beginner" meant. Didn't really go over any kind of form...just get on the bike and go. She had us doing 3-minute climbing intervals, fer chrissakes. It's not that I couldn't do it...I just found myself thinking "this is different from your regular class, how?" So while I do like my beauty sleep on Saturdays, I'd rather sacrifice 2 hours of sleep than go through another hour with Ms. Chirpy Cheerleader.

The 7:00 instructor is more my style...friendly without being obnoxious. I like her interval pacing better too. She was the same instructor that does the Thursday morning class that I took the week of our vacation. I'll just need to be sure to get to the gym in plenty of time for the class...when I got there at 6:55 this week, it was nearly full. I'm going to have to drag my ass out the door at 6:15 if I want to be sure I get a bike. But no big deal...I still enjoy the class, even at that ungodly hour.

And speaking of ungodly hours...I'm super tired, and barely coherent. I was going to write about a couple other things, but they can wait till morning. I'm not likely to make a lot of sense anyway, even to myself.

AAAARGH!

Note to self: Write post, copy to Word, THEN save. Just in case, you know, MT stops responding in the middle of the save. And then, when you go back to your post that took you nearly all day to write in fits and spurts, it no longer exists. Because the copying to Word? That would keep you from wanting to throw your laptop on the floor and stomp on it. Just sayin'.

Well, back to the drawing board...

gah!

I had this big long entry half-written, and then the help desk called with a problem. My inner idiot kicked in, and before I even realized what I was doing I had logged out of my machine to run a test without saving the post as a draft. Gone! That's what I get for trying to post from work.

Here's the abbreviated version:

183--Woohoo! I've lost 8 lbs in 4 days, for the first time ever, just by cutting back on refined carbs. I know I'll never see this kind of results again, but it makes it hella easier to stick with the plan.

I also ran my numbers for the past 3 days, if I was doing flex:

Monday - 40.5 points, 4 AP
Tuesday - 30.5, 4 AP
Wednesday - 33.5, 5 AP

These numbers aren't all that different from last week. So, essentially, changing one variable in my diet (less sugar and starch) made my results do an extreme 180. That's awesome. And I don't even really miss the white stuff. Here's hoping I can stick with the plan even after it gets boring.

harrumph

Oh, curse my early-adopting ways!

The new mini has twice the battery life, more space for the $$, and brighter colors. Minnie is now a dowdy has-been.

Minnie and I are also going to have a come-to-Jesus talk about her unwillingness to play for more than 2 hours straight, and her tendency to drop dead in the middle of a 45-minute run/walk. If she's going to be only half as cool an iPod as the new mini, the least she could do is live up to her model's potential. Little blue slacker.

Transitions? Conclusions? They are but trifles!

You know it's rodeo time in Houston when you're 30 minutes late for work because you were stuck behind a WAGON TRAIN. Really guys, if you are going to be all authentic with the horseback and the spurs and the covered wagons, could you NOT do it during rush hour? Please? Thanks.

See, this is another example of why customer service is so important--you never know who you're talking to, or how far one rude comment can travel. Be a dick to one customer, and all of a sudden a hundred people you've never met are calling or drafting letters to your manager. I suspect Barry didn't have a very good Wednesday.

That said, I'm a 24-hour fitness member. I chose them primarily because they had the most locations in my area, and with the exception of a membership consultant at one location (which I haven't set foot in since), they've been nothing but nice to me. But if I were looking for a gym and read that post? 24-hour fitness would have been crossed off the list. I mean, I can catch a spinning class or elliptical machine anywhere--I'll drive the extra 10 miles for staff that treats me with respect, whether I look athletic or not.

I ordered this heart rate monitor yesterday, and I'm feeling a little bit guilty for spending the money on it. It has some cool features, but having never used a HRM before, I'm not sure I will really need some of them. I might have been just as happy with the Reebok one at Target. Oh well...we'll see.

At least it will definitely be better than those flaky grip things on the cardio machines. I was on the precor for 35 minutes yesterday, and the grips just could not get a read on me for about 15-20 of them. It had me at 56 bpm one second, 202 the next. Which makes the average HR useless, since it takes into account all the numbers, even the blatantly, ridiculously wrong ones.

Tomorrow is the last session of the beginner cycling class I've been taking. Since I was going to be gone last Saturday, I tried a regular spinning class on Thursday morning, just to see how I'd do. It was hard, but I made it through the whole class. I didn't do all the out of the saddle stuff, but I did most of it. And I managed to get my shoes clipped into the pedals, even. (Of course, in true Joy form, I almost broke my ankle trying to get myself unclipped. I'm hoping that'll get better with practice.) So anyway, I'm kind of sad that the beginner class is over, but I'm confident that I can make the transition to the "real" classes. The Saturday morning one is 1 1/2 hours later than the beginner class, too, so I can sleep longer. woohoo!

I tried the SELF challenge strength workout on Wednesday, and I have mixed feelings about it. I don't think I like the stability ball...it may be because I bought one that was too small, or maybe didn't inflate it enough. I didn't really feel like the downward dog calf raises were doing anything, and I couldn't do the lie-on-your-stomach-and-lift-your-legs thing at all. I wasn't strong enough to do the floor dips effectively either, so I had to revert back to dumbell exercises for triceps. I did like the ab exercises and the plies, but other than that I could take or leave the workout. I like the fat-burning workout better, though I haven't done it in ages. I'll have to go back to it for the strength stuff.

My bold "eat more" plan has been going all right, though I'm pretty sure it's not working. I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. Since Tuesday, I've averaged about 38 points per day, which puts me right at 1900 calories per day. I have 9 activity points for the week, and it will be 13 after today. I haven't added up my food points today because we had a company event with sandwiches and cake. Sure, I could have avoided the cake, but it was there, and I was there, and well...it was cake.

Said company event is also going to prevent me from working out until later in the day, because there are cars on the lawn and part of the track is being blocked by a waiting area. I could work out inside, but it's sunny and barely 60 degrees out there, and I'm absolutely dying to take advantage of it while it lasts. Plus, my knees are very anti-treadmill these days.

I've never...

...done much of anything, really. Meme found in several places, most recently here. The ones I really have never done are bold.

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
I’ve Never Crashed A Friend’s Car
I’ve Never Been To Japan
I’ve Never Been In A Taxi
I’ve Never Been In Love
I’ve Never Had Sex In a Public Place
I’ve Never Been Dumped
I’’ve Never Done Cocaine
I’ve Never Shoplifted
I’ve Never Been Fired (well, not really. I was asked to resign, once.)
I’ve Never Been In A Fist Fight
I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse
I’ve Never Snuck Out Of My Parent’s House
I’’ve Never Been Tied Up
I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone
I’ve Never Been Arrested
I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger
I’ve Never Stolen Something From My Job
I’ve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square
I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date
I’ve Never Lied To A Friend
I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher or Professor
I’ve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans
I’ve Never Been To Europe
I’ve Never Skipped School
I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker
I’ve Never Cut Myself On Purpose
I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office
I’ve Never Been Married
I’ve Never Been Divorced
I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week (...only once, and got pregnant, too. Oh, the drama!)
I’ve Never Posed Nude (...but not for pictures)
I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them
I’ve Never Killed Anyone
I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner
I’ve Never Thrown Up In A Bar
I've Never Taken a Hallucinogenic Drug
I’’ve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire
I’ve Never Eaten Sushi
I’ve Never Been Snowboarding
I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’’s House While They Were Throwing A Party
I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room
I’ve Never Flashed Anyone
I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online (...heh, riiiight. Just most the people I know.)

quicknote

we're back, had a great trip, saw nearly everyone we wanted to see, it even snowed a few inches just for Rob. And despite eating non-stop for 4 days, I lost half a pound. The hell?*

*Actually, I suspect that I was holding a lot of water with all the working out I was doing, and my body was preparing for this massive whoosh. Then I went on vacation, ate the world, and the whoosh turned into a measly 1/2 lb. loss. But hey, at least now I can say that I didn't put on those 5 lbs or whatever. I just didn't lose them.

in case it comes up later

Just so everyone knows, I didn't choose the hotel without the fitness center on purpose. I only noticed it after I had made the reservation.

But in hindsight, I think it's a stroke of genius. ;)

oh, you had to know there would be a followup

As much as it pains me to say it...

(warning: AI spoilers below)

...Ross and Jennifer deserved to go home this week. Both of them made unfortunate song choices, and couldn't quite pull them off. I was deliriously happy to see Chipmunk girl in a "no" room, since she should have been gone long ago. Ditto queen bee blondie from the Ph@ group ("I learned fortitude this week"--barf), showgirl, dancing Dezmond, the girl with alarming eye makeup who got on the wrong bus that time, and what was up with that Larry guy? I thought his performance sucked, but then they showed that one girl gushing over how it was "flawless". Did I miss something? Is missing/cracking on the high notes a good thing now?

So, anyway, I was disappointed with some of the cuts, but I understood all of them. I don't understand some of the successes, though. For instance, I don't get how Twin made it through--I still can't stand him. I guess he sounds okay...maybe I just don't like his performing style, with all the big movements. And Mikalah--God, I loathe her. Though I'll admit that her enthusiasm is infectious, in a "Yeah, it's great you're excited but I'm going to wring your neck if you don't calm the fuck down" sort of way.

It still pisses me off that Scott can sing...but yet he can, so he deserves to be in the next round. Oh, and Jaclyn's performance on last night's show won me over. Her face does wrong things when she sings, her teeth are weird, and I'm unthrilled by her personality, but I do like her voice after all.

That said, almost all of my favorites made it through, and I'm happy with the decisions.

what am I, like, 3 years old?

In the visitors waiting room in our office building, there is currently a scale model of a car dealership set up on a table. Little building, little parking lot, little sign, little stylized cars. And a three big fat cardboard signs with bold letters that say "Please do not touch."

Oh internet friends and neighbors, I want to touch this mini dealership SO BAD. Even just to run a finger over one of the shiny little car shapes.

This is worse than the wheel-of-fortune incentive wheel they had in the lobby for a while--there were no rules against spinning it...it just made a really loud clicking noise as it spun. People would stare if I, say, decided to pretend I was a Price is Right contestant vying for the Showcase Showdown. (Hypothetically.) I could give in to its charms after hours, at least. The dealership is off-limits 24/7.

Sigh.

Valentine's day, scale disappointment, and getting ready for the trip

Valentine's day went just about as expected. I made dinner, we ate, watched TV for a bit, I took a bath, then was asleep by 10:30. Behold, I am the most romantic newlywed on the face of the earth. :)

Further proof of this--part of my Valentine's day present for Rob involved a page where I wrote in the details about our wedding day...you know, time, date, maid of honor, best man, attendants, officiant, place, blah-de-blah. I copied it all very painstakingly...AND GOT OUR WEDDING DATE WRONG. We were married on April 3, 2004. Not April 4, 2004, which is what my brain doggedly insists.

You see, it's the 4s that get me. For some reason, I want to remember that we got married on 4/4/04. Which would be cool, numbers-wise, except that it's not true. So anyway, Rob has a long life of missed anniversaries to look forward to, unless I can drill 4/3/04 into the place in my brain that 4/4/04 currently occupies. :)

Now, let's talk about that scale for a minute, shall we? It has been very uncooperative lately. Granted, I didn't have the best food weekend, or the best food Monday either. However, there is simply no excuse for its assertion that I weighed 187 this morning. No excuse at all. I mean, come on, I worked so hard last week! If I leave for vacation weighing 187, that's about 4 lbs heavier than the last time everyone up there saw me. This is unacceptable. I hate you, scale.

It is one of those times that my tape measure would be good, though, if I could only find it. As I was taking a bath last night, I was noticing that there's less fat on my inner thighs than there used to be, and also on my upper calves. My arms are looking a bit leaner, too, but that may just be wishful thinking. I'm really curious to see how many inches are actually gone since...holy crap--last JUNE was the last time I measured? Yeah, it's long since past time. Though if I recall correctly, I weighed in the high 170s in June, so I may have gained inches since then. Sob. Maybe it's best that I don't know after all.

Speaking of the trip, we are nowhere near ready to go. Nothing's packed, the house is sort of wrecked, we won't have a rental car booked until tomorrow, and I'm not even sure where we'll be staying while we're there. I am taking all of Thursday off, though, so I should be able to get the house in order and everything packed before we have to leave for our 7 pm flight. Rob's mom is coming to house/cat-sit for us over the weekend, so at least that part of it's taken care of.

I've been thinking a lot about how I'm going to work out during the trip. Now that I've made workouts sort of a habit, I hate to wreck it because I went on vacation. Not to mention that I fully intend to eat the world while I'm up there, so I'd better have some kind of plan to burn it off. If we stay in a hotel, they'll probably have a little workout center, and they'll definitely have a pool. I think the local gym has some kind of partnership agreement with 24-hour fitness where I can get in with my card, so maybe I'll give that a try. And if it stays unseasonably warm like it has been the past few weeks (much to Rob's dismay, since he was looking forward to piles and piles of snow), I could walk/run outside. I don't know...we'll see. I'll pack workout clothes, anyway. Whether or not I actually use them remains to be seen.

nothing to do with weight loss whatsoever

Okay, I just watched our tape of Lost and American Idol from Wednesday. I love both shows dearly, but I need to get some things off my chest.

Obligatory spoiler warning: There may be some below.

First, Lost. Must Kate be in EVERY FREAKING EPISODE? I mean, the other characters seem to cease to exist at the writers' convenience--can't we get a little less Kate? Less Jack would be nice, too. Less swami-Locke. More Hurley, more Claire & Charlie, and I'd like to see that Sayid-Shannon action heat up a little, please. A little more shirtless Sawyer wouldn't draw any complaints from me either. If you can't do any of those things for me, writers, at least give me LESS KATE. Oh, and thanks for finally making it apparent why you were doing the whole Scott-Steve schtick.

Now, American Idol. I used to be ashamed to admit that I like this show, but it won me over middle of the 3rd season. I was really looking forward to the auditions this year, and was heartily disappointed when they turned it into this whole freak parade. I mean, I like watching crazy people as much as the next guy, but it all seemed so staged. The bad auditions are fun to watch when they're genuinely deluded about their singing ability, but this year was all about the attention whores. Everyone wanted to be the next stupid William Hung. After 2 episodes chock-full of trainwrecks, it was just boring. Even I was starving to see someone good.

Which may have been the whole point, though, because it made me really look forward to the Hollywood auditions--ah, TALENT! Except that they never show all of my favorites, or really explain which 96 or 75 or 49 or whatever made it to the next round. We see a handful of auditions, a montage, and then they give us a number. And, much like Lost, sometimes the characters I'm invested in (I'm looking at you, Ross and Jennifer) just disappear from the show entirely, except in little audience or practice shots. They're like extras until the next episode, where they're, like stars again. And who was that Asian guy who couldn't sing? How in hell did he make it to the group audition?

And, while we're on the subject of no-talent hacks, why is Aa'isha whatsher/hisname still there? S/he was marginally sucky in the first audition, Mom was totally obnoxious, and we've only seen her in audience shots after that. If they "surprise" us with her in the finals, I'm going to be seriously pissed. They kept her and cut Elizabeth Ph@? I mean, I didn't like Elizabeth either, but at least she could sing. They are equally annoying, and they should both be gone. If I were king of the forest...

Anyway, I'm glad they're finally getting down to the final 24, because maybe we'll see the same set of faces every week. My favorites? I couldn't remember 12 in each gender, but if there is any justice in this competition, these people will make it through.

Men: Anwar (music teacher), Ross (redhead crooner guy--on his first audition alone), David (they went to his church in the audition episode), Anthony (childhood tracheotomy), Constantine(the guy with the pissed-off band), and Mario (mmmm...Mario--though he's, like, half my age or something). I also think Scott will make it through, on his singing talent alone because nothing else about him is even remotely appealing. "I'm gonna BLAZE this thing..." Shut up, Scott. It pisses me off that you can actually sing.

Women: Carrie Underwood (Oklahoma farmgirl...she had me at the audition, but her response to "have you seen any stars" in Hollywood made her my all-time favorite. It was probably staged, but she played it well), Jennifer (the big girl), Lindsay (I think--I don't remember a thing about her, except that I loved her voice), Janay (the other girl in the group with the way-overinvolved dad--she's just cute).

Now, for the people who I think might make it through even though I hate them: the aforementioned Aa'isha, Jaclyn (annoying teenager #1--OMG! The OC!), Dezmond (the crap choreographer), Mikalah (annoying teenager #2--"You're goin' to my prom, Simon"...oh, shut it), and those two girls who were in Elizabeth Ph@'s group, because they were bitchery personified. Everything I hate about women was wrapped up in these two. Yeah, Elizabeth couldn't remember lyrics to save her life, and she was annoying, but did you have to be so MEAN? God. Girls like them are the reason I hated high school. And the blond one sang like crap besides.

Oh, also hated the twins. Jamar and Lamar? I think that one made it through the group auditions only because he was with Anwar and...Mario? Or was it David? Anyway, their amazingness totally overwhelmed his relative suckitude, so he rode their coattails to the next round. I want to see him fail, fail, fail.

God, I sound like such a groupie. This is why I don't watch a lot of TV. If I watched too many shows, it would consume me.

latent Catholicism, revisited

Even though I am not really so much Catholic anymore as non-denominational-but-leaning-toward-Baptist, I've decided to give up Starbucks for Lent.

My last latte was yesterday morning, which was Ash Wednesday, which is technically part of Lent, so I'm probably going to hell anyway*.

*If I were still Catholic. Which I'm not so much, really.

yet another pointless update

Well, I did work out twice yesterday. I did the outdoor track around 1 pm...it's been raining for days and days, so I was afraid that it would be muddy (it's a gravel/cinder track). It was a little soggy, but not too bad. There were some low spots where there was standing water, but the grass around them was elevated enough that I could just go around. Only one of them was in my jogging part of the lap (1/2 mile track, I walk 1/4-mile, jog 1/4-mile each lap. I arrange it so that the jogging part happens as far away from the office building as possible,where the view is kind of obscured by trees. I have to work with these people--I'd rather they not see me run until I can do it without looking like an asshat). I did 2 miles total, walked 1, jogged 1. Done in about 30 minutes, plus stretching time.

The second workout was after the meeting--and a good thing, too, because there were chocolate croissants there. I was hungry and powerless to resist. I atoned by spending nearly an hour on the Precor, and if the display is accurate, burned a croissant + 100 calories.

Speaking of that, it sort of bugs me that not all EFX's are created equal. I went to the 24-hour fitness on 249 (which means nothing to those of you outside the metro area, but whatever), and they have the older 546s without the HR monitor panels. My other primary locations (Copperfield & Woodlands) are newer locations, and therefore have the newer 546s with the number pad and the HR panels. For whatever reason, the older ones seem to be set looser, or something. 150-170 strides per minute on resistance 5 on these machines is equivalent to 130-140 spm at about resistance 3 on the newer machines. Naturally, I love the calorie counts on the older machines, but I can't help but think that the Woodlands/Copperfield machines are closer to the truth. I definitely feel like I get a harder workout on those, anyway.

And while I'm droning on about working out...Is it just me, or are track suits/gym/yoga clothes more in fashion this year? I don't know if it's because it's the start of a new year, or if it's a trendy thing, but when I walked into Target looking for a zip-front hoodie yesterday (it was too cold to walk sleeveless, at least for the first lap), I had dozens of styles and colors to choose from. And not just in the athletic-wear department. It sort of rocked. While there was a black and pink one that I was lusting after, I bought an orange one instead, because it matched the stitching on the side of the capris I packed yesterday. What can I say--all I really need to know about fashion, I learned in kindergarten. :P

happenings

I saved a dog's life this morning. Well, mostly I just managed to avoid killing it.

She looked like a stray, no collar, and her body suggested that she had nursing puppies around somewhere. She was standing on the median when the light turned green, and I was pretty sure she was going to stay there. After the first car made it through, she decided to make a break for it, then pretty much froze in front of my car. I locked up the brakes, and was able to stop barely inches before the bumper made contact. Whew--crisis averted! She trotted off to the shoulder like nothing had happened. Not even a courtesy wave. "Hey, thanks for not killing me!"

I've only hit a domesticated animal once before in my life, and it wrecked me for hours afterward. This one would have been worse, because of the whole nursing mother thing. I'm not sure I could have dealt with the guilt of orphaning a litter of puppies.

My morning actually was going pretty well before that...I got up on time, ate breakfast, drank coffee, packed everything I needed to pack for work, got Noah to school on time. Oh, and when I stepped on the scale and was 2.5 lbs. lighter than yesterday!

I think the loss was mostly due to all the water I drank yesterday, and my 70-minute workout last night. I walked, I jogged, I Precor-ed. There was no stopping me, baby. It's been a long time since I worked out for more than an hour straight, and I was surprised how good I felt at the end of it. I could have leapt tall buildings, etc. Go me!

I like it when she goes buh-buh-bu-bu-buh-buh

I've been dealing with technicians and home repair people all day long, and I'm in this total brainfog. I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of speaking coherently about anything related to any piece of networked hardware, implementation plans, air conditioners, furnaces, mildew, tree pruning, or water heaters. Roofs are probably out of the question, too. What is this "flashing" of which you speak?

I could actually hear the vendor tech roll her eyes just now, when I couldn't think of the word "drive". As in, "tape drive". As in, "what I can't seem to schedule a replacement of, since the fates conspired against us having it done today, and no one can agree when we want/can have it done according to our service contract, least of all me." I feel like I've done nothing but stammer into phones at various technicians for the past 5 hours.

Is it too late to pursue an exciting career in food service? Basket-weaving, perhaps? Maybe there's a village somewhere in need of an idiot.

I am so excited, I'm about to pee my pants!

Rob and I decided, on the spur of the moment, that we both missed Wisconsin terribly, so I booked a flight this morning! We're going home over President's day weekend! Snow! Family! Hometown!

And if we come to acceptable terms on both sides of the negotiations going on with the C0pperfield house right now, I'll be an ex-homeowner by then too!

This post is just chock-full of exclamation points!! Can I use any more? I think I can!!!

Whee!

Seriously, have you ever seen someone so excited about a trip to Wisconsin? I totally am, though. I've been so homesick lately it was making me crazy.

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Coffee Meltdown (Or, The Case of Too Much Information)

That's the little known installment of the series in which Encyclopedia takes the case of a woman with barely provoked violent mood swings, culminating in a near-breakdown involving her ability to prepare, purchase, and successfully drink a damn cup of coffee.

Not to spoil the ending for you, but Encyclopedia solves the mystery by discovering that his arch-nemesis, Bugs "TOM" Meany is behind the whole thing.

Okay, so maybe Donald Sobol never wrote that one. :)

See, that's the thing about having irregular cycles--I never see them coming, even when I totally should. All last week, I was bloated, moody, and clumsy (er, more than usual). And yet it did not occur to me ONCE that PMS could be a factor. But when I woke up this morning, it all became crystal clear.

The good news is, I didn't have to take anything to induce it this time, even though I haven't had one for about...6 months? Maybe this is a sign that my body's going to start behaving normally again...though I really should wait for a repeat performance before I make that assessment.

At any rate, I'm happy to report that I'm feeling positively stable today. It's a nice change.

God does not want me to have coffee today

Until about 7:45, this day was going pretty well. I woke up with the alarm, the 3 mystery lbs were gone, there were clothes to wear, I remembered to rotate the clothes in my gym bag, Noah was up and nearly dressed...so far, so good.

Then I tried to make coffee. This too went well (yay, Keurig!), but then came cream-and-sugar time. Splenda, good, good. Where's the half-and-half? Out. Where's the milk? Last of it was in Noah's cereal. Aha! Heavy cream. Expiration date February 3...looked a little chunky, though. Shook it, poured it in anyway. Taste test...very creamy, so far so good--oh, wait. Sour aftertaste. DAMMIT! Poured it down the sink, ran Noah to school.

Then I had to run over to the other house because one of the realtors had said some not-nice things about it this weekend. After cleaning up some minor problems (dirty intake filter, some cobwebs, sweeping the pantry) and stabbing my finger on a carpet nail trying to patch the carpet gap in the stairs, I left and headed to Starbucks. After narrowly avoiding a throwdown with the barista and the girl who had ordered just before me (Me: "I'd like a grande sugar-free vanilla non-fat latte." Barista: [blank stare] Girl in front of me, laughing: "You wanna write that down or something?" Me, thinking: You wanna shut the fuck up, Miss venti caramel frappuccino that you most definitely don't need? It isn't that hard, I don't talk that fast, like it's any of your business how or what I order and SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP BEFORE I'VE HAD MY COFFEE), I almost hit some jackass in the parking lot who stopped to let me out of my space, but then tried to speed around me as soon as I started moving. *deep breath*

I managed to get to work without incident, but wasn't at my desk for FIVE MINUTES before I mouse-checked my apparently-hard-to-understand latte, spilling it all over the desk. And I mean, ALL over the desk. This was, by far, my most spectacular spill ever. The laptop, the phone, the docking station, every cable (of which there are many), and over half of the surface area of the desk was covered in about 12 ounces of coffee. Half a roll of paper towels and a complete desk reorganization later, I had a clean desk and a few sips of lukewarm coffee. And it was a GOOD latte, too...what little was left of it.

Sob.

When windows attack

"Dude! Window!"

That's a direct (and horrified) quote from about 5 minutes ago, as I turned to see a robin fling itself headlong into the mirrored office window. After he shook it off and seemed fine, I turned back around and returned to the vending machine snack selection process.

Just as I was grabbing my snack, I heard another thud behind me. Aw hell. This time, the old boy didn't make it.

Go with God, Mr. Redbreast. As for me, I'm taking your suicide as a sign that I should go home early.

(Oh, and I really did feel bad for the robin, though the tone of this post isn't very serious. If I had actually seen him throw himself at the window that last time, I'd probably still be crying.)

blah, blah, soreness, blah, hungry, blah, job angst, blah, blah, blah

Well, I'm happy to report that other than some twinginess (twinge-y-ness? Spazzyness?) in my upper calves, I'm soreness-free today. Woohoo! I think the soreness in my calves is only partly due to the running...I wore 3-inch heels all day yesterday, too. Since my usual heel limit is about 1.5 - 2 inches, my calves were not used to it. Damn girl shoes*!

However, I am extreeemely hungry right now, and have been most of the morning. I didn't eat breakfast because I overslept, and then my leaky tire was almost flat so I had to go fill it up at the gas station, and THEN I decided to go with a powerbar instead of a donut. I'm really proud of that, actually, but the bar wasn't really as filling as I had hoped. So long about 9:30 or so, I was starting to feel a bit peckish. I'm going to wait until 11:20 or so to go make my lean cuisine (chicken in peanut sauce), so that I can buy a salad if they have them.

It's sort of a penance, also, since I went out to eat for both lunch AND dinner yesterday--barbecue and mexican. I'm pretty sure I'm out of flexpoints for this week. On the bright side, 4 days is the longest I've kept a positive flex balance for MONTHS, so things are definitely improving.

And lastly...I'm toying with the idea of changing jobs.

[four agonizing paragraphs deleted]

I was going to talk about it, but it turns out that I'm still too anxious about walking out on that limb, and I can't be absolutely sure who reads this site. If I decide not to apply for the job I'm thinking about, I don't want anyone to know I even considered it.

I'm such a wuss.

*but they are very cute. And they make me feel all Gigantor and stuff...in a good way, of course.

speaking of Starbucks...

You know you've spent too much time at Starbucks when...

1. Your (very generous) mother-in-law gives you a $50 gift card for Christmas, and it only lasts till the middle of January.

2. All the baristas recognize your face, and half of them know you by name. In three different locations.

3. And at least one of them thinks that you work there.

somewhere, a host of angels burst into song

The Keurig has arrived, been unpacked, primed, and tested.

Though I've only tested one coffee variety, so far it's everything I dreamed it would be. My only complaint is that the "big cup" setting is, well, not. I'm going to need to brew 2 K-cups for every mug of coffee I make. At $1 and a minute and a half per mug, though, it's still cheaper and faster than a Starbucks run.

Wheee!

UPDATE: A second complaint--all of our travel mugs are too tall for the little cup alcove (cuppyhole?). So there's going to have to be some brewing and pouring going on.

I am, and it is

Did I mention that I'll be 31 tomorrow? And it's the 2-year anniversary of this site?

things and stuff

When I ordered my customary sugar-free vanilla non-fat latte at Starbucks this morning, the guy commented that they had made a ton of those that morning.

Well, duh. A run on your lower-calorie drinks the first week in January? Ever heard of new year's resolutions? :)

Anyway, I've been counting points for this entire week, and it's been enlightening. I'm proud (and ashamed, depending on how you look at it) to say that yesterday was the first day in months that I've had a sub-30 point day.

Let's pause and digest that bit of info for a moment, shall we? It was an accomplishment for me to eat 29 points yesterday (my target is 24). I haven't eaten less than 30 points per day in MONTHS. Most days, it's way over that...even this week, two out of three of the other days were over 40 points. I have a negative flex balance, but it's an improvement. It's honestly a wonder I haven't put on more weight than I have.

But, as Fish used to say, bygones. Even though I've had some over-40 days this week, the numbers have steadily gone down. And yesterday, if I count the activity points, I was exactly on target! Now if I can just get there (or near there) every day, my body will start to show it.

And while we're talking about food, I made some really good salmon last night, a recipe I got from the HEB chef. Our local HEB grocery has a mini-kitchen in the meat section, and they cook a meal there each day and set out samples and recipe cards. I'm a day(or two)-at-a-time shopper, so I love this--we tend to eat the same things week in and week out, so it's nice to bring in something new every once in a while. Sure, I can pick up recipes online or from books, but I can't really know for sure whether I like them until I actually make them. These I can taste test first. It's one of the main reasons I go to HEB for my groceries instead of the Kroger across the street. It's also the main reason I go at around 6-6:15 pm.

Anyway, the salmon. It was seasoned with garlic and asian wasabi plum sauce, served with stir-fried asparagus. I've never stir-fried anything before, so I was a little hesitant, but it turned out really well. It's definitely one that I'll set aside to make again. HEB didn't have the recipe available online (though they do have quite a few others--I think I'll make this tonight), but I'll post the recipe once I get home and find the card, if you're interested.

On the exercise front, I haven't done anything yet today. I should probably get over to the work gym now, in fact, because there won't really be anyone there right now. I hate the thought of it, though, because unless I want to get on the treadmill or I have a specific weights workout in mind, there's nothing to DO over there. It's in the 40s outside, so walking the track in the shorts I brought would be chilly. Maybe I'll run to the 24-hour fitness instead. Oh, the decisions.

updates

It's in Dallas now. I have no idea where the cup is...probably still in a warehouse somewhere in Minnesota. I can't wait until they* get here...After waiting for 15 minutes (and they weren't even especially busy!) for the baristas to fill my Starbucks order this morning, brewing my coffee at home is sounding more attractive all the time.

In other news, I was thinking on the way home last night about the goals in the previous post, and realized that I didn't set any food/diet goals at all. I'm not sure if it was a conscious decision, but I think it's one that I'm going to let stand for at least a little while. Last night's burgers aside, I actually haven't been eating too badly. I've also found that the more I'm working out, the less junk I eat anyway. Hopefully, this will continue and the food fitness will sort of take care of itself. If it doesn't, I can always refocus on that later.

Speaking of goals, I'm 0 for 2 on the "exercise daily" goal. I'm very good at meaning to go to the gym, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't count (and probably counts against my "stop procrastinating" goal a bit too). I even intended to drive straight to the gym right after picking up Noah last night...but then the commute sucked, I was 20 minutes late picking him up, and lost all will to drive any further. Any further than to the burger place for dinner, that is. *sigh*

Today, though? Today I'm going to exercise. I'm debating whether I should work out over lunch or go to the sculpting class after work. I know that I should go to the sculpting class, because it's been a long time since I did any strength training. But if I did that, I'd have to make arrangements for Rob to pick up Noah, and hey--it's been a long time since I did any strength training. That class will suck.

I'm also considering digging out my Fat-Burning Workout book again, and easing back into that a couple days a week. It'd be more convenient than trying to hit the sculpting class, and less intimidating than just going to the gym and making up a routine as I go along.

I'll probably just end up with some sort of cardio today, but we'll see. All I know is, there's gotta be something.

UPDATE: Cardio.

*the brewer more than the cup...we have several not-pink travel mugs that will do nicely until the new one gets here.

the depths of my coffee pathology, and also some goals

So, the Keurig shipped yesterday, and I've been obsessively tracking the package ever since. It started in Chattanooga yesterday, and now it's in Memphis. It's supposed to be at the house on Friday (and heaven help UPS if it isn't). In the meantime, I've been scouring the Internet for a suitable travel mug to carry coffee to work. A pink one. Pink brushed aluminum would be ideal, but maybe some sort of translucent plastic would be okay. And if it could keep the coffee hot, that would be great too...but mostly I'd just like it to be pink.

(I'm telling you, these are the sorts of thoughts and missions that consume hours of my day...I must have a pretty good life. Either that, or I'm the most boring person in the universe.)

So, well, that hiatus/vacation/not posting thing really didn't pan out, did it? It's always amazing to me how much I suddenly have to say once I tell people I don't have anything more to say. I think it's the same phenomenon that causes me to leave the house roughly 87 times every morning. I get to the car...forgot the keys! Back in, get the keys...forgot the cell phone! Am I wearing my badge? No? Back in then. Halfway down the street, I can't remember if I locked the door...back I go. It's a miracle I get anywhere on time (mostly I don't).

I'm not sure what's going to come of this journal in this year. I've been reading around some of the new weight loss blogs that cropped up with the new year, and it was good for me to remember what it was like in my own beginning. The excitement, the hope, the optimism, the new recognition of my own habits...even the "d'oh!" moments. It's inspiring to watch someone else traveling the same bit of road I did 2 years ago, and overcoming the same obstacles with the same wonder that I did. And it's hard to realize that I lost that enthusiasm somewhere along the way.

But enough of that...here we are in year three of my own journey. My goals are different this year than they have been in the previous two. I don't really care whether I reach a goal weight. I'm not interested in being a size 8, having six-pack abs, going to the beach without a coverup, bouncing quarters off my ass, making ex-boyfriends rue the day, standing on rooftops and yelling "see? SEE?! I dare you to moo at me now, Home Depot stockboy. I fucking DARE you."*

I'd like to say that I'm a bigger person than that now, but I'm really not. I'd still like to get there eventually, just to show everyone (including myself) that I can, dammit. But I'm really more concerned with getting my body back to a normal cycle again so we can have some hope of conceiving, and losing weight is part of that. Basically, I want to lose enough weight so that I can get pregnant and gain it all back. :)

So, while pregnancy is my ultimate goal this year, here are some other things I would like to accomplish in 2005:

- Qualify for my company fitness incentive at least ONE quarter.

- Bike a century (100 miles). (I stole this goal from Mo, but it's a good one.)

- Bike more with Noah, so that we can do 10-20 mile rides as a family eventually, and so that he's more fit in general.

- Run a 5k.

- Exercise daily.

- Stop procrastinating so much.

- Oh yeah, lose some weight. I'm hoping for around 20 lbs, but if I accomplish every other thing on this list, then I'll be happy with whatever number it turns out to be.

So there it is. A lot more focus on health/self improvement, less on the scale. I'm hopeful that this will be a better approach than the number-centric 2004.

Here's to a healthier 2005!

*yes, someone really did moo at me at Home Depot a few years ago. I didn't shop at Home Depot for over a year after that, and I still don't if there's another option available. It was a small thing, and I know I should just get over it, but, well, you know.

progress, babies, and hiatus

I'm back! Christmas was, of course, merry, and I hope yours was too.

I did almost all of my shopping in one frenzied Christmas eve, but no one was missed. We had Rob's mom and my brother over for dinner, exchanged gifts, all that stuff. We made cookies, roasted another turkey, drank a gallon of hot cider. It was all very cozy. And Santa visited Noah, who still believes in him wholeheartedly at 10 years old. I think he willfully ignores evidence to the contrary, though...like the time that he found all the Santa presents in the trunk of the car two years ago, and I explained to him that Santa asked me to pick those things up for OTHER kids. (The things he asked for were in high demand that year, you see. Elves aren't very tech-savvy, and Santa's shopping time is limited.) I wasn't sure he'd buy it, but he swallowed it with barely a hint of skepticism. I think that's a good thing, too. Let him keep that innocence as long as possible.

(Warning - some of the following is probably TMI on health issues.)

In other news, it seems that everything's coming up baby in my family this year. Two of my cousins got married this summer, and their wives were both pregnant by November. My dad just announced that he and Erin are expecting a baby in July. It wasn't exactly planned, I guess, but Dad sounded happy about it. He says with everyone out of the house now, it'll be nice to have a little one around again. I figure that maybe this is just the push he needs to finally marry Erin, too, which would make me breathe a huge sigh of relief. She's the best thing that's happened to him in years, and I'm always afraid that one of them is going to have a change of heart at any moment. While marriage is no guarantee that they'll be together forever, it would make me feel safer about loving her.

I feel silly saying that, since I'm not a kid anymore and what do I care who my dad dates for how long? Except I was a kid when my mom died, and I always held a secret wish that he'd find someone to be a replacement mom. So every time he dated someone new, I'd hope, I'd get attached right away, and then the relationship would sour and she'd leave. Sometimes there was a brother that went with her, sometimes there wasn't. Sometimes we stayed in touch, sometimes we didn't.

So by the time Erin came along, I had pretty much given up on the whole mom thing. I was also doing the mom thing by then...Noah was a toddler when they started dating. I didn't know much about her really, except that she was a lot younger than Dad, and what could she possibly see in him? But she saw something good, I guess, and moved in with him after a year or so. I've never seen him as happy as he is with her, and she's completely transformed our family. Still, every time I call up there, I'm afraid that he's going to tell me she's gone. And at this point, that would absolutely break my heart.

So anyway, I'm really happy for them, and hoping for a sister this time. Though I'll be old enough to be her mother and I live 1000 miles away from them besides, six brothers is enough for me. Time to get some more estrogen into that household. :)

So, (probably) needless to say, all these pregnancies have put our own baby quest front and center. Besides just wanting to expand our family on its own merit, I'm insanely competitive too. It's really burning me up that my yahoo cousins who got married after us are pregnant before us. And Dad and Erin--ARE YOU F---ING KIDDING ME?! We're being outconceived by a 52-year-old man who wasn't even trying?! :) (Just jokes, family...just jokes. Love ya. Mean it.)

Like I say...insane.

While there is a chance I could be pregnant right this minute, the PCOS and OvCon fiasco of the past several months makes it pretty unlikely. I haven't had a TOM since I stopped taking OvCon, but considering my history and the fact that those 3 months on OvCon were pretty much a non-stop period anyway, I'm not sure that's anything to be hopeful about. I'm going to wait until after the 1st of the year to test, since that would be about a month since my last expected TOM. When I was pregnant with Noah, I tested at 3 weeks, but the result was light enough to be barely discernable. If I'm going to agonize over this anyway, I'd rather it be a clear result.

If it turns out like I think it will (not pregnant), Conception Quest 2005 will go into full swing in January. Doctor appointments, diet recommendations, ovulation charts, Cl0mid. And let's not forget the sex. :)

Which brings us to the hiatus part of the post. With the 2-year anniversary of this blog coming up the first week in January, I'm experiencing some burnout on the whole weight-losing thing. It's been a struggle for a long while, and I'm not sure how many more ways I can say "I fell off the wagon again, dammit". Or that I even want to say it anymore.

In the beginning, it was an obsession. In order for it to work, it had to be. All I thought about was how many calories I was eating and how much I was exercising and how much weight I was losing and what size I was/am/will be. Then, 30 lbs later, I got complacent. Nothing new appealed to me. I hated the thought of fretting over every morsel. I started "forgetting" to write things down. I started "recommitting" every few days. I started maintaining, then gaining, then yo-yoing through the same 5 lbs. Mostly, I just stopped caring.

It's not that the desire to lose the weight is gone...but the sense of urgency definitely is. And the interest is. Try as I might, I can't seem to get it back, so I've stopped chasing after it. Who knows...maybe it'll lap and catch up with me again.

At any rate, I'm taking a break from this place for a while. At least until I know whether CQ 2005 will be necessary, and I'll keep you posted on that. I'll also update the stats occasionally, and probably post a Year 2 roundup in the next week or so. But then it will get quiet around here for a while. I'm not giving up, but my heart's just not in it anymore. Call it a vacation.

If we do end up getting serious about the TTC thing, I'll probably move that whole obsession to its own space...maybe over to the journal. And when/if anything about weight loss becomes interesting to me again, I'll be back here to blather all about it. :)

all hail the last minute

Well, it's December 21st, and here's my before Christmas to-do list:

1. Finish buying/wrapping/preparing Christmas gifts.

2. Cookies

3. Sort and deliver a (literal) truckload of donations to a homeless shelter. Whose idea was it to organize a church clothing/food drive a week before Christmas? Oh yeah--mine.

4. Get prints made of the family pictures from the wedding, frame them, and send them with the...

5. ...Christmas cards.

6. Clean the house so that we can have people over on Saturday.

7. Buy groceries so that we can feed the people we're having over on Saturday.

So, basically, everything. I'd have "buy and trim a tree" on this list, too, but I think it's sort of pointless now. We got the lights on the outside of the house, anyway. That'll have to be good enough for this year...or maybe I'll grab a mini-tree at Target so we have something to put the gifts under.

The best part is, I'm out of vacation and sick time, so all of this has to be done after 6 pm or on Christmas eve. (Wisconsin family, I think it's safe to say that your gifts are going to be late this year.)

I hate colds

Lordy, do I feel like crap. I woke up with a cold on Saturday, and much coughing, wheezing, and sneezing later, it's still around. Today's the worst it's been, so I'm hoping I've reached its peak now and I'll start getting better. If I had sufficient sick time left, I'd so be taking it right now. As it is, I'm at work, doped up on Advil Cold & Sinus and trying not to do a faceplant on my keyboard. I've never been so glad to have an office to myself.

The concert last night was good. My cold wasn't too bad then, and I took some cough syrup right before we left. Noah was enthralled by the show for the first 40 minutes or so, and by the novelty of having a mini-fridge full of drinks and a roomful of people to charm. I had to remind him a couple times that he shouldn't sing along, or that he should at least do it quietly. :)

I didn't know anyone else in the suite...somebody's sister and her family, and two people that a company rep just handed the tickets to outside the box office with a "Merry Christmas". Still, we had a pretty good view, and we sat in the front row so that there was no chance of Noah kicking the back of someone's seat all night long (and our tickets said row 1). He got bored in the last 15-20 minutes, and his 3 pepsis caught up with him. I spent most of the finale of the Christmas Eve story standing outside the bathroom. We left after the first half of the show, since it was 9:30 and it was an hour drive home. Still, it was a good time, and we didn't even get lost driving out of downtown (like I have every other time I've driven downtown)!

Man, am I tired. One good thing about this cold, though--loss of appetite. I've had coffee and a little bit of lunch today, and even that was just to get myself moving and avoid falling asleep. I'm thinking of going for some tea in a little while, maybe curtail the coughing a bit. I doubt that I'll make the gym today--I did yesterday, but I was feeling better then. All I want to do today is get back into my pajamas and sleep this cold away.

whee

by a stroke of luck, Rob, Noah, and I will be going to see these guys tonight. Woohoo!

Rob and I went to this show last year, and really enjoyed it. I like their music in general, but the live show is an experience all its own. I'm not generally the laser-show type, but this worked for me.

I'm especially happy that Noah gets to go this year. I won the tickets in a drawing at my company, and usually they give away just 2 tickets to each winner. Since they didn't have a parking pass for me, though, they threw in an extra ticket. So the boy gets to come with us...I just hope that it's not too loud for him. The kid gets touchy about volume sometimes. I think he'll like it, though.

So anyway, at 8:00 tonight, I'll be sitting in a luxury suite watching a rock opera with my boys. Since we didn't buy Nutcracker tickets this year, this is as close to a Christmas theater event as we're going to get. Can't wait!

it's a sad comment on your workout slack when a couple hours of stapling lights to your house (while standing on tiptoe on the world's wobbliest ladder) will leave you barely able to move the next day.

The really sad part is, I only did half of the front of the house. It's not even that we live in some palatial mansion either...I spent at least 30 minutes of that time trying to find the ONE F---KING BULB that was causing the Three Feet of Darkness on my 12-foot string. Of course, the Three Feet of Darkness were at the highest point of the roof, and did I mention the world's wobbliest ladder? Sure, I could have undone the staples and located the bulb while safely on the ground, but then I would just have to get up there again. By the time I got those lit up, I realized two things--a) I was going to have to climb onto the roof to hang the rest, and b) I hadn't bought enough lights. Sigh.

Anyway, the rest of the lights will go up next weekend, which should give me time to get over the soreness. And with the way the lights worked out, I can still light up the door and the flowerbeds without showcasing the lopsided roof decor. It's the first time we've decorated the outside of the house, and I think it turned out very pretty. I'd have pictures, but we are currently without a camera. Back in June or so, we loaned it to the same guy from whom I borrowed the staple gun and ladder, which is why I have no qualms about keeping those things another week. :)

In other news, today is the day I drag myself back onto the weight watchers wagon. I did eat a burrito for lunch, but I've been doing pretty well otherwise. Planning on chicken breasts and a veggie tonight, but I'm still going to be over points for the day. But at least I'm trying, and maybe I can earn enough activity points at the gym tonight to counteract the burrito. We'll see.

When I looked back at the archives to see what I was doing back when my weight loss efforts were shiny and new, I discovered that documentation was really my biggest thing. I wrote down everything, I kept track of progress. I didn't get far enough into the archives to know when I stopped doing it, but I need to start it back up again. I know I've said this before, but diet and exercise logs are coming back. And to ensure that they actually do, I'm going to start one right now.

ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

I'm taking the dress back.

I tried it on again last night, and was appalled at my hideousness. Rob insisted it was fine, and maybe it was just the mirrors, but I thought I looked really thick in the dress, and that combined with the funky neckline was too much to overcome.

Of course, this means that I need to somehow find a better dress by 1:00 today, because I'm getting my hair done at 1:30 and can't be trying on dresses after that. Considering I'm working until 11ish, there's, like, no pressure, right? *snort* I may still end up wearing the dress, but I'm going to do my best to find something better in 2 hours.

Funny story...when I first bought the dress, I tried it on at home and modeled it for the boys. They both showered me with compliments (as husbands and sons should), and I felt better about my reservations with it. Then I tried it on tonight, and decided I didn't like it very much at all. Noah was in the bathtub through this whole thing, and when I brought the dress back in to hang it up, he said something about it. I told him that I tried it on again and didn't like it, so I was going to take it back and find a different one. He came back, in all seriousness, "is it because Dad and I weren't there to compliment you?" Aww.

speaking of...

I think it's because it's getting close to Christmastime, but in the past 3 days I have had about a dozen people at work comment on my iPod and ask questions about it. Some are thinking of buying one for themselves, some for their kids...it's just weird. I've had Minnie on my desk every day for 6 months with nary a peep from anyone, and then there's this explosion of curiosity. Not that I mind, though...I love talking about my favorite toy.

Speaking of Christmas...I bought James Lileks's new book last week. Since I had loved the Interior Desecrations part of his website, I was thinking about getting the book for my dad's girlfriend. She's an interior designer, so I thought she would like it.

As much as it pains me to say it, the book disappointed me. The writing was good (as ever), but the scans aren't as clear in print as they were online, and the text was hard to read because of the busy/heavy design around it. I guess that was kind of the point--a book about the horrors of 70s decorating using the same unpleasant scheme as the designs themselves--but it didn't work for me. I read the whole thing, but I don't have any desire to read it again, or to give it as a gift. The Gallery of Regrettable Food was much better.

Speaking of books and disappointment, I signed up for booksfree.com a couple weeks ago. Even though they sent me emails saying that my books had shipped on November 12th, they still haven't arrived. I understand that you can't really control the speed of mail, but Amazon doesn't have any trouble getting me packages through USPS in less than a week. Neither does Netflix (though, they have a warehouse in town, so...). If I'm paying $13/month to have 4 books at a time, I'd really like to get a chance to read at least one of them before I get next month's bill. Maybe they'll be at the house when I get home today.

I know, I know...renting books online? I could get the same service from a public library for free. Here's the thing, though--I'm really, amazingly, embarrassingly bad at returning books to libraries. Several times, I've paid more in late fees on a library book than it would have cost to buy the damn thing in the first place. I'm pretty sure that if there were such a thing as library police, I would be one of their 10 most wanted. Reward posters in the lobby and everything. I'd have to go on the lam.

However, I'm also bad about giving/selling/throwing books away. I have piles of books that I'm never going to read again, but I feel weird just tossing them. So they sit and molder in boxes, or I end up buying shelves to house cheap 15-year-old paperback mystery novels. So I thought booksfree would be a good idea for me...I can read the books, and send them back whenever I feel like it.

Of course, right now, I feel like actually READING them, so I wish they would just GET here already.

house update

Still negotiating...after inspection and getting a quote for "necessary" repairs, the buyers want a ridiculous amount of money to compensate. Failing to see how things like spending $15 to replace a 35-cent outlet panel are necessary repairs, we've countered with a less-laughable number.

To quote that wise modern poet, Eminem: "ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!"

Staying in our current (other) home for the rest of our lives is looking better and better all the time. This selling business is way too much aggravation for me.

UPDATE: Aaaaaaand it was a dealbreaker. The buyer has exercised their option to terminate. Sigh.

The good news is, the house is empty, the living room is freshly carpeted, and the nearly-constant rain these past couple weeks has ensured that I haven't missed many showings. And, thanks to the ex-buyers, I now have an inspection report listing all the house's shortcomings and an estimate for all those repairs--at no cost to me! Of course, the estimate doesn't come with the money to actually fix all those things. Again, sigh.

Although, let it be known for the record that we're not exactly in desperate straits here. We've been paying for two households for 3 years, on the same or smaller salaries than we have now. Since there's no longer anyone living in the house, my utility bills will go down considerably as well.

Selling the house would have made for a very nice Christmas, but not selling it doesn't see us living on Ramen and government cheese. We're fine.

thoughts

You'd think as many times as I've tried it, I would have learned by now that my car-door remote is not some magical skeleton key. It does not open anything but the car doors. Not the front door, not the computer room door, not even the car trunk. Just the doors, Joy. Just the car doors.

I came into work today, and there was a promo shirt sitting on my chair. Size medium. I was all, "Woohoo! Someone thought I was a medium! But no way that's going to fit."

Then my boss called and said that we were all supposed to wear these shirts today (though I have yet to see anyone else wearing one, so now I'm wondering whether he's yanking my chain). So I figured, what the hell, try it on. It fits! Well, not exactly...it doesn't quite stretch around my "birthin'" hips, but from the waist up it fits fine. Tuck it in, and it actually looks presentable. Medium!

I've spent a lot of time this morning looking for a Blues Traveler Christmas song, even though I already own it. I don't want THAT song exactly, but another song that's on a different year's version of the same Christmas CD. Trouble is, I don't remember the name of the song or the group who sang it, and I don't remember the name of the CD series either...just that they put one out every year and proceeds go to some charity, and the one year I own has the Blues Traveler Christmas song on it.

I listened to a sample of the song I'm looking for when I was looking for another song a few months ago, and liked it a lot, but didn't download it because it was the day before payday and I was flat broke. Now I wish I had just sucked it up and spent the dollar, because this search is driving me crazy.

I thought the group was the Waitresses, but the only Christmas song of theirs I can find is that Christmas Wrappings song, which is good, but wasn't the one I was looking for. It's sort of acoustic, folksy, you know--sounds like every other song I own. So, if anyone knows what song I'm thinking of here, drop a comment. ;)

Incidentally, this whole process is pretty much how I find all my music. "Ooh, I want that song that I heard at that bar back in 1996, but I don't know the name of it, or the artist, I just know it has such-and-so lyrics and the guy has this cool gravelly, 10,000-cigarettes voice".

I spent over 5 years googling "by the way, I need an orange juice can" every couple of months before I found that it was "By The Way", by Joe Scruggs (not available on iTunes, alas. But you can buy the CD here). God bless the Internet.

UPDATE: Since at least one person has arrived here on a search for those lyrics (and I'm the #1 hit on google), I've changed the text above. It used to link to an MP3 that I've since deleted, because I don't want to get sued or whatever. But if you follow the link to Amazon, you can buy the CD there.

Speaking of music, you know what annoys me? The fact that iTunes will let me connect the iPod and put songs from iTunes on it, but won't let me copy songs from the iPod to playlists on the computer. What's the point of that exactly? I mean, I can still browse the iPod like a USB drive and find the song I want, copy it to the computer, and then import it to iTunes. Not only that, but why make the file structure on the iPod so damned cryptic, and hide the music folders besides? It's all my music, Apple. I'm just transferring it from work to home and vice versa. Why make me go through all that searching and copying nonsense, when it would be so much nicer just to drag and drop from one playlist to another?

I had one of those "I am such a spoiled American" moments last night. I went to the grocery store because I was making a fruit salad for the company Thanksgiving lunch today, and they didn't have any fresh peaches in the produce section (my fruit salad is berries, kiwi, peaches, and grapes. Very pretty). I started to get a little irritated, and then I thought about it--it's November. Are peaches in season anywhere this time of year? And yet, I get so used to having every kind of produce available to me whenever I want it that I get all bent out of shape when I have to buy frozen peaches in the winter. Yeesh.

Oh, and I've finally figured out what my challenge is going to be. I'm calling it "The 14 Challenge", in which I make it to a solid size 14 in 14 days, starting today. How will I do that? Details to follow in my next post.

UPDATE: Okay, the CD series is A Very Special Christmas, and I own volume 3. They don't put it out every year, it appears. However, the CD I thought the Mystery Song was on, Volume 2, does not contain the mystery song. So I don't know where the hell I heard it. But now I think the lyrics might have had something to do with a donkey, for some reason. Sigh.

Figure this one out, I'll buy you something from your wishlist. Seriously.

UPDATE 2: I think it was Rudy, by the Be Good Tanyas. Either that or Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant, which talks about Mary traveling, conjuring up a (false) donkey lyric memory. But I'm pretty sure it was the Be Good Tanyas, since I was looking for another one of their songs a while back...if you sort by album name, Rudy is at the top of that list. And if I followed the link for the entire A Winter's Night album, iTunes probably suggested others that would include the Very Special Christmas CDs. It's also very possible that I mixed up the Barenaked Ladies song on the Winter's Night CD with the Blues Traveler song I have, which got me thinking about the Very Special CDs. Whatever....song downloaded and case closed!

(Unless I'm wrong, of course.)

canned meat, and other matters

Back when we first started getting comment spam, I posted a flip little message saying "either pay me to advertise or go away".

Then there was another barrage of spam, and I posted a message saying "you suck, and I was, like, serious when I said go away."

More spam later, I posted "You are the embodiment of suck, I will never get tired of banning your IP addresses, you soulless bastards." (Paraphrasing, of course.)

As it turns out, I lied. I am now sick of banning IP addresses. We are rapidly approaching the point where the pain of dealing with shitbag spammers is greater than the pain of installing a newer version of MT that can close comments on old posts automatically. I'd close them manually, but it's over 1000 posts, and I'm just In No Mood for that. Besides which, I spend hours closing comments on old posts because some rude motherfuckers won't quit breaking in and shouting about pr0pecia and disgusting s3x videos, that lets them win. They must not win.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Update on the house...the buyers are extending the option period for another 7 days. Their inspector found some minor water damage on some of the walls, they want to run tests to verify that the house isn't crawling with toxic mold. It's not, but I can't say that I blame them. When I bought the house, I totally lost my shit for a week and put off closing because of some mold under the sink (it was from a dishwasher backup, they cleaned it up prior to closing, it never came back.) I'm not sure I believe in karma, but if I did, this delay is payback for being a total basket case and putting the sellers through hell 3 years ago.

I'm pretty sure they'll find nothing and still buy the house, but the suspense is killing me.

The company holiday party is the first Friday in December. That's just 18 days away. As of this morning, my weight is almost exactly the same as it was this time last year. Depressing, no?

I have no one/nothing to blame but myself, of course. I haven't really been into the whole "rah, rah, let's lose some weight" thing lately, and it's hard to get back into it. I've tried a couple times this week to sit my inner fat girl down and do an intervention. "Look, I've noticed that you're inching back up into solid 180s. In case you haven't been looking through the archives, I'll tell you--you have made no progress this year. You were supposed to be at goal by now, fer chrissakes. We need to get back to the leaner meats, the veggies, spend a little more time at the gym, little less time with the cheesecake. I'm really concerned about you...what can I do to help?"

And then Inner Fat Girl sets down her gingerbread latte, takes off her headphones and says, "Who with the what now?"

So, yeah, that hasn't been working. But this event looming in the near future has lit the necessary fire under the too-rapidly-expanding ass, so I'm about ready for a challenge. Details to follow in a later post (Translation: I haven't decided what this challenge will actually involve).

woohoo!

There's still inspections and contract signing and closing, but we've got a potential buyer for the house. If all goes according to plan, I'll be an ex-homeowner by December.

That breeze that was just felt 'round the world? My colossal sigh of relief.

bits, pieces, etc.

Finally! I was worried for a while that we were going to have a 90-degree winter. We only get about a month of winter here the way it is, so the weather should have the decency to be cold, dammit. At least at night, anyway. I'm perfectly content with day temps in the fifties.

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It's also Gingerbread Latte Season. I'm embarrassed to say that I danced a little jig in the Starbucks the other day when I saw it on the menu. If they only made a sugar-free version, I would totally build a shrine at my house and worship the Starbucks god. As it is, I expect to have to lose some gingerbread latte poundage. As much as (and perhaps because)I love them, I'm glad they don't offer gingerbread lattes year-round. My ass may never recover.

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I've been actively pretending the scale doesn't exist this week. I don't want to know what it's going to tell me at this point. Part of it is the previously mentioned Week 3 Bloat, but that's not all of it. I've jumped off the wagon a little bit. Okay, a lot. I'm trying to find my motivation again, but it's being very elusive. And my newly-tight pants are cutting off oxygen to my brain, so that adds a level of difficulty.

------------------

And speaking of Week 3 Bloat, I'm really dissatisfied with OvCon. Sure, I haven't been exactly diligent with the taking at the same time every day, or even the actual every day part, but I've taken various brands of BC pills over the past few years and never had this level of PMS action when I messed up the schedule. I'm tired of turning into Bitchy McBloaterson every time I forget a pill. (Seriously--I gain 5 lbs overnight.) I don't remember it being this severe with Yasmin, and I wasn't any more consistent with it than I am with this one.

I'd say something to my doctor about it, but I'm only on these things for 3 more months. I don't want to go through the trouble of adjusting to different hormones only to stop just when my body gets its groove back.

-----------------

Anyone wanna buy a house? It's in decent shape, big yard, safe family neighborhood, quiet street, park and school less than a half-mile away. It's about to have new carpet, too. I loved living there...miss it like crazy sometimes.

Come on, someone make an offer that isn't ridiculous. It's nearly Christmas, and we're tired of paying two mortgages.

UPDATE: Well, speak of the devil. We've got an offer! I don't know what it is, though, waiting on a callback from my realtor. It must be realistic, though...on the last lowball offer, she told me as much in the email. This time it was just "call me". Pleasepleaseplease...

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I suppose I'd better get back to work now, but before I go...go see baby Beatrix! Congrats Jordana (and Justin, too)! I wish I had looked even close to that good after having Noah...:)

fyi

I'm...um, I'm not sure what I'm up to, exactly. I haven't felt like posting, so I haven't been doing it. I don't anticipate feeling like posting anytime in the next several days. I hesitate to use the word "hiatus", though, since I inevitably start a posting frenzy right after typing it.

Also, as those of you who have been tracking my BC pill schedule (read: no one) already know, this is week 3...otherwise known as hell week. I'm bitchy and nothing fits. Staying on-plan hasn't exactly been high on my list of priorities, so I'm up a pound or two in addition to the regular bloat. I wake up wanting to kill things, and go to bed wanting to kill myself.

Okay, not really, but have I mentioned I'm a little melodramatic during Hell Week? It should clear up by Monday, though, so never fear.

small animal advisory, and also shoes

Within the first two hours I was awake today, I kicked a cat and killed a squirrel. They were both totally accidental, of course, but it's probably best if small animals stay out of my way today.

Other than that, the day is going well. Despite the unfortunate squirrel incident, I got to work at 8:30 for the first time in a month or so. This means that I can leave in time to pick Noah up from daycare without skipping my lunch hour. Which also means sculpting class. Woo!

The scale claims that I broke 180 again today, which makes me happy. It's amazing to me how much exercise makes a difference. I ate basically the same this week as I have every other week lately, but worked out 6 of 7 days (I couldn't muster up the ambition on Sunday, and we had people over part of the day). Instead of maintaining or gaining like I have for the past month, I lost a pound and a half. Of course, not being hormonally challenged this week may have had something to do with it too, but exercise was definitely the bulk of it. I'm a true believer now, baby. :)

In that spirit, I bought some new shoes last night. After getting recommendations from the girl working there, and trying about 15 pairs, I finally ended up with a pair of Ryka running shoes. I'm not sure how they're going to be just yet...I've never tried Rykas before, and they're not broken in yet. They did okay on the precor last night, but I'll have to wear them a little bit longer before I can make a true assessment.

One interesting thing about the shoe store...she measured my feet before we started trying things on, and discovered that my feet are about a half-size smaller than I thought they were. I'll probably still buy the larger size 90% of the time to give my feet a little breathing room, but it's good to know.

status, weekend, and music

so, I've been doing well this week. I wasn't stellar at documenting everything I ate, and I'm pretty sure I'm out of flexpoints, but I did exercise every day so far. It helps that it's been beautiful weather for it--high 60s to low 70s, mostly sunny. Woohoo! Fall is here!

Tomorrow we're doing the corn maze and pumpkin patch thing...I haven't done this in about 8 years (since I lived in WI), and I'm ridiculously excited. I hope the weather stays...it's supposed to warm up again this weekend. If I could go do this thing in jeans and a sweater, it'd be just like old times. :)

We're going to get up early and do the Champions Fit walk, then head to the farm once Rob's mom gets into town with the nephews. At least, I think she's bringing the nephews. Was last time I heard, anyway. Three adults, three kids aged 4-10...a good time will be had by all. I hope. The rest of the weekend is the usual--frantic preparing of materials for kids church, church, football and laundry. Wild, wild stuff.

Oh hey--did I give away music this week? No, I didn't. Here's two, from my folksy side:

Every Heart Won't Let You Down - Greg Trooper

The Littlest Birds - The Be-Good Tanyas

When I first heard this song, I thought it was The Little-Ass Birds. I still sing it that way, actually...there's just something fun about belting out, "the little-ass birds sing the pretty-ass songs..." :)

Right-click, save-as, and have a great weekend!

Also--for disk space reasons, I'm going to be deleting last week's MP3s from the site today. I'm planning to do that every week, so if you want 'em, get 'em while they're hot. :)

more cheese, less whine

yeah, so, um...I've had just about enough of my whining, haven't you?

This site has sort of become my release valve for frustration and negativity, and really, it's gotten a little tiresome. Reading back over the last month or so is like listening to non-stop Eeyore, but with more bitter thrown in with the mopey. And enough is enough.

I'm not saying that I plan to go all kittens-and-rainbows or anything, but I've had enough of the pity party. The only thing really keeping me from getting the things I want is me. I put things off. I refuse to follow my own plans. I can't seem to get off the couch and fix what's bugging me. And instead of sitting here bitching about how hard everything is, I've decided to just go ahead and do something about it. One thing at a time.

Hardly revolutionary, I know. :)

So anyway, I started with the house. I woke up Saturday as a girl on a mission. By the time Saturday was over, Rob, Noah, and I had teamed up and conquered most of the rooms of the house. The Steenky Bathroom was even de-stinked, a task I've been putting off for ages because it was easier to just use the other one all the time and pretend this one didn't exist. We didn't get all the laundry done, but we never do. If we do a load a day during the week, it won't be too overwhelming next weekend.

The thank-yous are still unfinished, but they're not unstarted. That's progress. One night with nothing good on TV, and I won't have to feel guilty about THAT anymore either.

And just to clarify, my issue with the thank you notes isn't that I think I have to do them all myself, or that Rob hasn't volunteered several times to help with them. He would gladly help, if I could just turn the job over already. I want to write the ones to my family, and to my friends he doesn't really know. I fully intend to pass the ones for his friends and family into his more-than-capable hands. So why haven't I?

Well. Because I know he'll do them. And then in 3 days, when his have all been received and read, while mine are languishing unwritten on the countertop, I will feel more guilty than I do already.

It's not that I hate writing thank-you notes, either. I don't. In fact, once I sit down to do it, I actually kind of like it. What overwhelms me is the creative writing aspect of them. How do I make up a sincere blurb about every gift (even the ones I hated), and not sound like I'm just schmoozing? Especially when schmoozing is so completely out of character for me? And I don't want to sound like I'm sending a form letter to people. "Thank you for giving us x. We love it/them/cash!"

I think the reason I've taken so long to start on the thank-yous (besides just being lazy) is that I want them to be so great, and so memorable, and so sweet and poignant and so completely perfect in every imaginable way, that I don't want to start until I know the perfect words. And even when I think I have the right thing to say, I hate it the minute the ink dries. So I start, and I stop, I buy more cards, and I start again. And the further we get from the wedding day, the better I think the thank yous need to be, because I made everyone wait so long for them now. I know I'm totally overthinking it, and getting a crappy thank you card from the happy couple in 3 weeks is infinitely better than getting a well-written one in a year, but I can't seem to help myself.

Sometimes, I hate being a perfectionist. Of course, it wouldn't be nearly so bad if I was the sort of perfectionist who completes projects but is always disappointed by the results. Leave it to me to be the sort of perfectionist that is loathe to even start for fear the project won't turn out exactly as planned, but can't bear to hand it over to someone without the same pathological fussiness (read: Rob).

So yeah, thank yous. They're coming. I'll try to delegate, or at least tie myself to a chair until they're all written, addressed, and stamped. And then I'd have to drive to the nearest "letters go in, but you can't get them back out without violating federal law" public mailbox and dump them in before I decide I'm an illiterate troll and have the urge to write them all over again.

I also promise to stop babbling here about them. Like, right now.

another crabtastic day

yep, crabby again today. I really wish my life would stop sucking.

Of course, the key to stopping the suckage is to actually start doing things. Start getting things done. Write the thank yous, go to the gym, clean the house, get the carpet installed in the other house...all these things so I can stop feeling guilty for not doing them, which is the primary cause for the "life sucks" vibe lately. Instead of doing any of these things, however, I procrastinate and sit around until I can't stand it any longer, and then I go to bed.

Anyway, I don't really have anything to add today, so here's a good wallowing song for you:

Just a Sign - Allen Wayne Damron

Right click, save as, etc. Have a good weekend, and hopefully I'll be in a better mood by Monday. :)

Hunger? What's that?

yesterday, I was determined to avoid snacking all afternoon. I succeeded through sheer force of will, and felt something I hadn't in a long time--hunger. I remember thinking, "wow, so this is how normal people know when to eat."

I didn't really realize that I wasn't letting myself get hungry lately. I guess it's a side effect from trying core, where staying in that comfort zone is encouraged. Being me, of course, I took that to the extreme and made sure that I could never possibly feel hungry ever. (The warning not to get unpleasantly full was brushed aside whenever it was inconvenient.) So feeling hungry was kind of foreign. I have a vague feeling that it shouldn't be that way. Okay, a very strong feeling it shouldn't be that way. I should get hungry, because that's how I should gauge whether or not to eat. I think that might be more effective for weight loss than eating because it's "time", or because "well, what else is there to do?", which have been my primary triggers lately.

On a related note, scale is still sitting at 182. Since I've been averaging around 35 points/day and I haven't been to the gym at all, I'm surprised it isn't going up--but hey, I'm not complaining.

I fully intended to go to the gym last night...I had it all planned out. Rob was picking up Noah, and I was going to the old house to shampoo the carpet in the bedroom with one of those rent-a-steamers, stop at the gym on my way home. However, by the time I got the carpet done (which looks awesome, by the way--it's like having new carpet in there), it was 8:00 and I was all sweaty and tired from lugging the heavy thing around the house. I sat and talked to my brother for another hour or so, then headed home. I suppose I could count the carpet cleaning as exercise, since I did sweat while doing it...but it's nowhere near the workout of the hour on the precor that I was planning. Ah well...that's been rescheduled for tonight.

Not much else to report. I'm feeling considerably more upbeat today than I did yesterday. I'm hoping that this continues at least through the evening, so that I can work up the motivation to work out after dinner. I may try to get a workout in over lunch today, because this month started a new quarter. This means that the fitness points reset, and I can have another go at earning 36 points in a quarter and qualifying for fabulous cash and prizes. The closest I've gotten in the 3 years I've been with the company is 30 points in