picture update

not as good as I'd hoped. Their poses are always so unnatural and ridiculous, and I should have given myself bigger hair and leaned into Rob more. They had us turned sideways, so you can't even see the dress well enough to compare it to previous pictures.

That said, it wasn't too terrible to post this year, so I'll do that once I have access to a scanner.

The party went fine, but I'm starting to think that I don't want to go to any more of them. Not only did I embarrass myself twice in less than 3 hours even though I only had two glasses of wine (one of which was involved in embarrassment #1, when I spilled it down the front of my dress while introducing my husband to a co-worker. "---, this is Rob--oh, shit, I totally spilled wine all over me! And I'm not even drunk yet!" Classy.), but I got all dressed up just to eat a dinner and wait for our car for an hour afterward. I think if we do go next year, we'll stay at the hotel again.

oh, hey...

I almost forgot that it's getting close to that time again--Christmas party picture time!

I'm wearing the same dress as last year, not because I particularly like how it looked on me, but because it's the only one I could find when I went looking for past dresses. My wedding dress and this one were the only two formals in my closet. Where the hell did the other ones go? I kind of wanted to wear the pantsuit from two years ago; but considering that I was already dreading how tight the pants would be, it's really just as well.

So anyway, it's a rerun of last year, and I'm happy to say that the dress fits me just as well now as it did then...even a little looser (not that it needed to be). The spaghetti straps are still kind of ill-advised, but I like the flouncy skirt and the cocktail length. And since I only really ever go to these things to get a checkpoint picture and maybe win money, it'll do fine for those couple hours. Review of photos past can be found here. I just now realized that I don't have one of last year...IIRC, it was because I looked trollish and hated my hair. :P Maybe I'll post that one after I see how this year's turns out, so I can compare and contrast.

vacation, all I ever wanted

Just a forewarning...it's going to be quiet around here for the rest of the month. The rest of my life has swallowed me whole.

Without getting into too many work-related details, there is a major thing coming up the first week of January that's going to require a lot of prep work and some travel. To make things even more stressful, my flight for that leaves the day after our return flight from the Wisconsin trip, so all the prep work needs to be done before I leave for vacation next week. Add Christmas shopping, hosting an 8-guest Christmas dinner this Sunday (and now with no table, since the one I ordered 4 MONTHS AGO just now arrived with a huge gouge in the tabletop and they can't replace it till next week at the earliest...more on that once I know whether there will be a satisfactory resolution), some sort of allergy-related ailment that makes it impossible to take a deep breath without contortions and extreme concentration, and the usual day-to-day crap, and the stress level? It is high.

Weight loss and its associated tasks are very low on my list of priorities right now. That said, I'm holding steady at 180ish, after ballooning up to 184 last week during December Puffiness Season (recurring monthly). I'm also trying to keep up at least 60 miles/week on the bike, even when it was freezing-ass cold last weekend. I also plan to hit the 5:30 am cycling class at the gym tomorrow morning, provided I can make myself get up that early.

So, in summary...I've got a lot of stuff going on, so posting will be light through the end of the year. I plan to return with a renewed passion somewhere around this site's 3rd anniversary (1/8/06). In the meantime, that picture I mentioned a few posts ago:

I still like it better than the official pose, but it looked better on the little LCD screen on the back of the camera. There's a bit more cleavage than I remember, and I totally was as drunk as I look. You can credit that dazed expression to the magical refilling wine glass in the lower left corner of the shot. :)

Merry Christmas!

presented without commentary - Christmas party, 2005

Okay, ALMOST no commentary.

I just wanted to mention that I'm also waiting on a snapshot from the dinner table that I thought was better, but I may have to harass a co-worker to get it. I'll post it if it ever becomes available.

checkpoints

I've worked at my current job for going on 5 years now. Every year at around this time, they hold a semi-formal holiday party for their employees and spouses/guests. It's the only time of year I really get dressed up, and it's also the only time during the year that Rob and I have a picture taken together, usually.

This photo is handy from a weight loss perspective, because it always happens the first weekend in December, and the clothing is always formalwear of some kind. The hair is also pretty much the same. So, I can look back on the pictures and really see the changes in my body from year to year.

This year's party is this Friday, and I picked up my dress this past weekend. I'm pretty excited about it, because I managed to find an outfit that is, by far, the most flattering of the five I've bought. No satin (satin, control top hose, and flash photography don't mix), no spaghetti straps, it clings or drapes in all the right places. Of course, this is all through my eyes, which have been known to lie, especially about my reflection in a dressing room mirror. I could end up looking like a gussied-up mountain troll in the picture (again), but I'm hopeful that this will be my photogenic year.

Anyway, in preparation for the big event, I present the photos of holidays past, with commentary. Click to enlarge them, if you dare.

2001 - This was my first year with the company. I wasn't sure what to expect, just knew that I should dress up. Being me, I waited until the last minute to find something to wear, and being fat (I think around 210 at that time), shopping was a nightmare. I ended up at Dress Barn at 3 pm on the day of the party, frantically throwing clothes around a dressing room until I found something that didn't make me look like a parade float. I got to the party about an hour late, and as you can see, didn't worry so much about the hair. Not so sure what was up with my facial expression either. I look stoned.

2002 - And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my before picture. I was at my highest weight here, hovering between 217 and 220. I found that outfit a few days before the party, and it met the criteria that I had established for formalwear after a few weeks' search--1) non-binding in the waist, and 2) wide enough through the hips. I would have preferred something less grandma-of-the-bride, but at a size 20 doesn't leave you with many choices. This one was actually okay, except for being boxy. Really, it was my enormous moonface and (again) the lack of hair talent that sunk this year's picture. The worst part of it? Passing the photos around the table with my coworkers, and hearing, "Oh, that's such a good picture of y'all!" All I could think was if that was a good picture, there was a short circuit between my eyes and my brain. That woman looked NOTHING like the Joy I saw in the mirror. I started this site just about a month after this picture was taken.

2003 - Finally making some progress. I had lost 33 lbs at this point (I gained 7 lbs in December of 2003), and was totally fired up about how skinny I was going to look in the picture. I went all out--dress, hair, nails...it took all afternoon. And at the end of it all, I still wasn't happy with how the photo turned out. I did have to concede that I looked skinny compared to the year before, however, and that was enough. I was also mostly happy with the hair...considering that most of my hair was too short to do a traditional updo, it was something of an architectural marvel.

2004 - Again, thought this was going to be my year. Even though my weight was the same as the year before, pretty much, the dress was a size smaller. It was also not satin, because I had learned my lesson the year before about the perils of reflective materials and flash photography. After this one, I began to think that the photographer and/or the camera was the problem. I managed to not look like Olga the East German field hockey captain in my wedding pictures, after all, so surely this photographer has a knack for unflattering angles. Either that, or the wedding pictures were a fluke, and I truly have a face for radio.

So, there they are. In the 2004 picture, I weigh 184 lbs. Today, I weigh 178. When I post the picture on Saturday, we'll see how much of a difference those 6 lbs. make.

the damages

well...the party came and went. I did manage to find a dress, the same one that was my second choice when I bought the red one. Best part--there was a sale, so I saved $30 by buying a dress at the last minute. Woo! Click OPEN WIDE to see it, side by side with last year's picture.

I always forget whether I scan the pictures in the frame or out, so the 2004 looks like more of a closeup than 2003, making me look bloated and sort of hippo-ish. Or at least that's the story I'm going with.

I do like this dress better than last year's, though.

my goal, only much older and with more hair

I was home from work today because I broke my car this weekend (a story I will regale you with later, if I can write it in a magical way that will make it somehow interesting), and I had to wait for the tow truck guy this morning.

Anyway, since I was home with nothing really to do, and my bank statement came in the mail, I balanced my checkbook. Since I had no reason to keep the statement, I ran it through the shredder. Since I like running things through the shredder, I started to look through my old papers to see if I could find something else to shred. I found a whole bunch of crap from when I was in college, many moons ago. I don't know why I save all this stuff--I really, really don't.

What's the point of this boring story, you ask? While looking for shreddable things, I found my college ID from the time I was actually close to my goal weight:

(click for scary size)

The image quality isn't that great (11 year old picture + cheap-ass scanner) but check out those collarbones! I could have put someone's eye out with those. :)

I was right around 135-140 in that picture, about a size 10-12. If I hadn't liked to wear my clothes loose, I could have probably done an 8.

This is what I want to get back to, only more muscular and less naive.

compare and contrast

When digging through some boxes, I found the Christmas party photo from 2002...you know, the one that inspired me to start losing weight? The one I couldn't find when I posted this year's picture?

So, here's the before and after, 2002 vs. 2003:

They're cropped differently, but the change is pretty obvious. What a difference 34 lbs. make!

compare and contrast

When digging through some boxes, I found the Christmas party photo from 2002...you know, the one that inspired me to start losing weight? The one I couldn't find when I posted this year's picture?

So, here's the before and after, 2002 vs. 2003:

They're cropped differently, but the change is pretty obvious. What a difference 34 lbs. make!

Wedding pictures, part 3 - reception and photo sessions

I'm not feeling the intro today, so let's just get to the pictures. First, the poses.

Bride and groom:

In the gazebo
On the gazebo
Kissing in the garden
Our newly-official family
The whole wedding party

And as a bonus, the most photogenic couple at the wedding, without whom the event wouldn't have gone nearly as smoothly as it did:

Dale & Tina

Then my family:

All my brothers, Dad and me, together for the first time in 5 years
Then with Erin, too
Four generations of Radles represented

Then his family:

Rob with his parents
With his brother

(he has a much smaller family than me)

Then, the reception shots:

The head table

We have pictures of all the tables, but I feel weird about posting pictures of all the non-family guests without their permission. Plus, they're just pictures of people sitting at tables.

Dancing with my dad while...
...Rob danced with his mom.
The cake
Dale's toast

No one else gave a toast...I'm not sure if it's because we are terribly unpopular, or that no one wanted to follow his. It was very good, but I don't remember much of it. Something about Rob's integrity, my grace (heh), and Noah's patience. :)

The bouquet toss

I badly misjudged how close I was to the ceiling, and threw the flowers up, rather than straight out like I should have. They hit the ceiling immediately, and didn't get anywhere near the girls. They all hesitated a minute, but then my much-bolder-than-me MOH went and picked them up. She wins!

The garter toss

And here we see that the garter practically fell into my older brother's hands. The others never had a chance--totally fate. I'd expect a wedding, but I'm not really sure if he's dating anyone. Or even intends to. If he is, God is definitely on that girl's side.

The bouquet and garter-catching couple

The official picture of the exit

I like this one better. Which, as you can see from the official shot and as I've previously mentioned, was taken by an 11-year-old girl with a disposable camera. She just had a better angle.

The getaway car

We drove that Mercedes for about 4 months. It belonged to a friend, but it was his extra car, so he let us borrow it for a while. I'm not sure what it would be like to have an extra Mercedes, but I bet it's nice to live in that world. :)

And that's it for the wedding pictures. Hope you enjoyed them!

Wedding pictures, part 3 - reception and photo sessions

I'm not feeling the intro today, so let's just get to the pictures. First, the poses.

Bride and groom:

In the gazebo
On the gazebo
Kissing in the garden
Our newly-official family
The whole wedding party

And as a bonus, the most photogenic couple at the wedding, without whom the event wouldn't have gone nearly as smoothly as it did:

Dale & Tina

Then my family:

All my brothers, Dad and me, together for the first time in 5 years
Then with Erin, too
Four generations of Radles represented

Then his family:

Rob with his parents
With his brother

(he has a much smaller family than me)

Then, the reception shots:

The head table

We have pictures of all the tables, but I feel weird about posting pictures of all the non-family guests without their permission. Plus, they're just pictures of people sitting at tables.

Dancing with my dad while...
...Rob danced with his mom.
The cake
Dale's toast

No one else gave a toast...I'm not sure if it's because we are terribly unpopular, or that no one wanted to follow his. It was very good, but I don't remember much of it. Something about Rob's integrity, my grace (heh), and Noah's patience. :)

The bouquet toss

I badly misjudged how close I was to the ceiling, and threw the flowers up, rather than straight out like I should have. They hit the ceiling immediately, and didn't get anywhere near the girls. They all hesitated a minute, but then my much-bolder-than-me MOH went and picked them up. She wins!

The garter toss

And here we see that the garter practically fell into my older brother's hands. The others never had a chance--totally fate. I'd expect a wedding, but I'm not really sure if he's dating anyone. Or even intends to. If he is, God is definitely on that girl's side.

The bouquet and garter-catching couple

The official picture of the exit

I like this one better. Which, as you can see from the official shot and as I've previously mentioned, was taken by an 11-year-old girl with a disposable camera. She just had a better angle.

The getaway car

We drove that Mercedes for about 4 months. It belonged to a friend, but it was his extra car, so he let us borrow it for a while. I'm not sure what it would be like to have an extra Mercedes, but I bet it's nice to live in that world. :)

And that's it for the wedding pictures. Hope you enjoyed them!

Wedding pictures, part 2 - the ceremony

Now, for the ceremony pictures. Just for fun, I've included mp3s of the processional/recessional music so you can get the full wedding experience. Right-click and save those, please. :) I've removed the files/links.

The processional: Jesu, Joy of Men's Desiring

Jordan seats Aunt Kris
Ryan seats Erin (stepmom)
Jordan seats Grandma (Dad's mom)
Ryan seats Aunt Linda
Rob's brother Michael escorts his mom
Rob's mom lights a taper
Jordan escorts Grandma (Mom's mom, acting MOB)
Grandma lights a taper
Robbie & Tina walk down the aisle
Then Dale & Kat

Once everyone was in place, it was time for the bride: Ave Maria

I saw this
They saw this
Then everyone stood up

The music faded out
The pastor said, "Who gives this woman..."
My dad said "I do," and gave me away.
That was when Rob started crying.

Then Robbie sang
Our pastor said some words
We said some words
Rob put a ring on my finger
And I put one on his.

Then we lit a candle
And said a prayer
And then we kissed
As Mr. and Mrs. Robert Allison!

Then came the recessional: Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World

(There's a reason for the lack of recessional pictures. In all of them, I have this weird expression on my face. I guess I was trying to be all proper and dignified or something, but I just looked stuck up.)

The recessional continued out to the gardens, and we relaxed for a minute or two before the family and wedding party pictures. We took a picture with Dale, and Dale and Tina got to be a couple for the first time all day, I think.

Wedding pictures, part 2 - the ceremony

Now, for the ceremony pictures. Just for fun, I've included mp3s of the processional/recessional music so you can get the full wedding experience. Right-click and save those, please. :) I've removed the files/links.

The processional: Jesu, Joy of Men's Desiring

Jordan seats Aunt Kris
Ryan seats Erin (stepmom)
Jordan seats Grandma (Dad's mom)
Ryan seats Aunt Linda
Rob's brother Michael escorts his mom
Rob's mom lights a taper
Jordan escorts Grandma (Mom's mom, acting MOB)
Grandma lights a taper
Robbie & Tina walk down the aisle
Then Dale & Kat

Once everyone was in place, it was time for the bride: Ave Maria

I saw this
They saw this
Then everyone stood up

The music faded out
The pastor said, "Who gives this woman..."
My dad said "I do," and gave me away.
That was when Rob started crying.

Then Robbie sang
Our pastor said some words
We said some words
Rob put a ring on my finger
And I put one on his.

Then we lit a candle
And said a prayer
And then we kissed
As Mr. and Mrs. Robert Allison!

Then came the recessional: Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World

(There's a reason for the lack of recessional pictures. In all of them, I have this weird expression on my face. I guess I was trying to be all proper and dignified or something, but I just looked stuck up.)

The recessional continued out to the gardens, and we relaxed for a minute or two before the family and wedding party pictures. We took a picture with Dale, and Dale and Tina got to be a couple for the first time all day, I think.

wedding pictures, part 1 - before

Okay, thanks to the most excellent advice from Kristi, I managed to read the photoshop directions correctly and get the pictures into much smaller packages. I've got over 50 pictures, so I'm going to divide them into 3 posts--before, during, and after the ceremony. Presented for your enjoyment/mockery/whatever, the pictures linked below were taken before the ceremony:

Fixing Noah's shirt
Noah and me in the bride room

There were more taken up there, but I didn't like any of them very much. So, out to the gardens!

My favorite of the bride poses
With the bridesmaids (MOH Kat on the left, Tina on the right)
Rob, looking all debonair and stuff
Rob and his mom
The giant, the groom, and the dwarf. :) (Best man Dale, Rob, and Robbie)
the ringbearers (Rob's nephews) & Noah
All the boys (Groomsmen, ringbearers, and Noah)
Rob and Noah, ready for their closeup

Enjoy. Tomorrow, The Ceremony. :)

wedding pictures, part 1 - before

Okay, thanks to the most excellent advice from Kristi, I managed to read the photoshop directions correctly and get the pictures into much smaller packages. I've got over 50 pictures, so I'm going to divide them into 3 posts--before, during, and after the ceremony. Presented for your enjoyment/mockery/whatever, the pictures linked below were taken before the ceremony:

Fixing Noah's shirt
Noah and me in the bride room

There were more taken up there, but I didn't like any of them very much. So, out to the gardens!

My favorite of the bride poses
With the bridesmaids (MOH Kat on the left, Tina on the right)
Rob, looking all debonair and stuff
Rob and his mom
The giant, the groom, and the dwarf. :) (Best man Dale, Rob, and Robbie)
the ringbearers (Rob's nephews) & Noah
All the boys (Groomsmen, ringbearers, and Noah)
Rob and Noah, ready for their closeup

Enjoy. Tomorrow, The Ceremony. :)

we're baaaaack

I don't think we went to a single relative's house where they didn't offer us food. We ate like we would never see food again. We ate for 6 days straight, pretty much non-stop. If I only gain five pounds back, it'll be a frickin' miracle.

Anyway, here's some family pictures from my aunt's house. These are the ones that turned out...the rest were hyperflashed, and I haven't been able to adjust the brightness on them to my satisfaction.

The first one is me with two of my brothers, Noah, and my grandma. My brothers aren't really that short...they had to practically kneel to get into the picture.

The second is Rob, Noah, Grandma, and me. Grandma looks pretty pale in both pictures, but it's not her. There's something wrong with my camera, methinks.

More on the trip and weight loss plans for next year later. For now, happy holidays!

not last year, but...

well, I did a little digging this morning, and I still couldn't find the party picture from last Christmas. I did, however, find the one from 2001. I submit it as proof that, A) this year's picture was better than I thought, and B) I haven't been photogenic since about the 3rd grade, and never at a company function. Ever.

On the other hand, I think Rob was at about 220-230 back then. You can really see the difference in the face, though I prefer the beard to the clean shaven look.

not as good as I'd hoped

Well, here's the evidence--I did really dress up and do party hair last night. The picture is not terribly flattering, much to my disappointment. Still, it's better than last year's, which I still can't find. I'm hoping it's at Rob's somewhere.

As always, click for big. The angle is unfortunate, and in hindsight, I probably should have committed to smiling or not smiling--it ended up kind of grimace-ish. I'm looking a little lumpy, and probably should have gone for the full-body control garment. But with the lace-up back, I had a hard time finding one that wouldn't show through. I settled for control-top hose, but it interrupted the flow of the dress through the waist. I do think that the picture shows it worse than it actually was, though, since the lighting hitting the satin caused some unfortunate shadow effects. At least I hope my tummy wasn't hanging out like that all night long.

The party went pretty well...everyone said Rob and I looked great, everyone else looked great. I didn't win any money, but I never do. I think next year is my year. (Like I do every year.)

but not nearly as fat as I used to be

You know what? I retract my earlier complaint about looking "lumpy" in my progress pictures.

Why? Because I found my start pictures from January. It's funny the way I forget how big I was, since the weight comes off so gradually. It's kind of like watching your children grow up every day. You don't really notice any huge changes, but when your great-aunt from Vermont** flies in, she "can't believe how much they've grown!" It's like that, only in reverse...and instead of an old lady from Vermont, it's a digital image buried in a dark corner of my hard drive. I didn't realize how far I'd come until the pictures showed me where I'd been.

And now you get to see for yourself! Click OPEN WIDE>>, if you are not easily offended by ill-fitting workout gear and/or frumpy hair.

I was torn on whether to show the new pictures first, or the old ones. I decided to go chronological. These pictures were taken January 13, 2003, at around 210 lbs.

(click for scary size)

After finding those, I no longer feel like whining about these, taken on Saturday, 10/18/03, at 185.5 lbs:

(click for scary size)

So yeah, I'm still lumpy. But there's definitely a whole lot less of me.

**I don't really have a great-aunt in Vermont.

polaroid

So, yeah, 2 weeks later here's that polaroid I was talking about. :) The one I was happy with.

(click for full size)

I'm the one in the middle...the other two are my crazy (not really, just theatrical) aunt Kris on the left, and my stepmom-if-my-dad-would-just-marry-her-already Erin on the right. The picture got on the scanner glass a little crooked, so we're a little tilted. But to compare the change in my face, here's a picture from sometime in January:

I know the hair's totally different, and it's just my head. But check out all the puffiness that's gone now!

the hair

the moment we've all been waiting for. I got my hair done.

My pictures aren't the best, or the same size as one another, but here they are. Before on the left, after on the right.

(click for truly scary size)

Virtual models - 4/2/03

Since another 4 weeks has passed, I thought I'd regale you all with pictures comparing the fake mes. Unlike last time, you can actually see a difference between the starting weight and the current weight.

pictures! (sort of)

I've been shy about posting pictures here. I've taken them, but I can't inflict anything that hideous on my public. :) So, I was in a dilemma--I wanted to post pictures, but I couldn't make myself post pictures. Then I came across a post on someone's blog (I think it was sue) about virtual models, and decided this would be a good compromise. After spending an afternoon mulling over which of the models looked most like me (triangle or hourglass was the biggest challenge), these are what I came up with. I've put clothes on her, because in all except the goal shots, she just looks better.

From left to right, we have the Before model, the Now model, and the After model. (Click each picture to enlarge)