How 'bout "Time Warner Sucks" in D Minor?

Ever since my very first apartment, I have been a cable TV customer. I've never had any problems with cable, except for that time when the apartment complex I was living in had a contract with Optel and I couldn't get digital cable. That sucked, but I could deal. So, when I thought about moving out, one of the things I was looking forward to was getting back to cable again. I liked our satellite TV fine, but it went out when it was storming outside, and we didn't have a receiver in Noah's room, and I thought cable would be easier.

Boy, was I wrong.

Oh, it started off fine. I went to the Time-Warner website to order service, only to get muddled by the vast number of equipment options we have these days. So, I called the customer service number, and had an installation scheduled within 10 minutes. Everything was cool, I was excited, things were happening.

Installation day came, and the dude showed up 30 minutes into the 2-hour window. Again, awesome. However, he showed up with about 1/2 of the equipment I ordered, and a work order for only one outlet. I ordered 3. And this is where things started to go south.

First, I looped through the Time-Warner phone menus 3 times before finally choosing a random option, since there wasn't one for installation issues OR an option to just talk to an operator. When I got someone on the line, I explained my situation and they told me that it would be an additional $19 up front for each additional room and I could pick up the missing equipment at a Time-Warner store. Fine, whatever. The tech had offered to pull the cable while he was there so I didn't have to do another installation, and I gave him the other work order number. He also mentioned that the HD DVR that they had in their warehouse wasn't the one that was on my work order, but they didn't have the other (better) model in stock there. So as long as I was going to the T-W office anyway, I should pack up the DVR and exchange it for the better one while I was there.

So, after I had paid the installation charges($107) and he left, I packed up the DVR and headed to the nearest T-W office to pick up my digital box and swap my DVR. Except that they were completely out of HD equipment, and so were the other three closest stores. So I got the digital box (though there was some confusion over whether I ordered a DVR digital or a standard digital, because both were listed on the work order. But if they were both listed on the work order, why in hell didn't the tech bring it/them? I DON'T KNOW EITHER), and headed back to the house to re-hook up the HD DVR. Then, since it was too late to go back to work, I started playing with the remote.

Which worked like CRAP. The online guide had not yet populated, so the response times on the remote were super slow. I tried using the pause button on the remote, and it blanked out and locked up my screen until I changed the channel. Plus, the analog programming looked like ass on the new TV and I was missing some of the channels I ordered.

I left the house, and returned in the morning to see if the guide had populated and if the missing channels had magically appeared overnight, since sometimes they take a while to fully populate. Yes and no. The remote response was much faster and I had on-screen guide, but I still didn't have the standard cable HD channels or Showtime (which I ordered specifically so I could watch Dexter).

At this point, I was still pissed about how everything went down, and AT&T had already gotten my high-speed internet business as a result (I had originally planned to go through T-W for that as well). However, I was still giving them a chance for my TV business. I called and checked on satellite pricing just in case, but I still thought I would give cable a chance to make it right.

Then I came home that night to a broken HD DVR. Game over, Time-Warner! I packed up all their equipment (digital box still in the shrink wrap) and put it in the car. After signing up for AT&T Dish Network (for more channels, more DVR receivers, one-bill service, and faster installation for about the same price), I returned the cable crap this afternoon to the store a couple blocks from work. After arguing mostly unsuccessfully with the counter lady about getting a refund rather than $19 of ADDITIONAL FUCKING CHARGES, I asked for a phone number where I could call to complain and got out of there before I gave into the temptation to kill her with my bare hands.

I swear to god, if I hadn't just bought that new set, I would totally be going no-TV household right now. Jeebus.

I'd be lost without my cable! Ha!!!