My new love of podcasts, and a grammar gripe

Late to the party as usual, I discovered the joys of podcast subscriptions this week. It started with a search for NPR Driveway Moments on iTunes, and ended with 5 new subscriptions: Driveway Moments, The Diner, This American Life, 60-Second Science (I'm sort of a geek, not sure if you could tell), and Grammar Girl (I am a geek-of-all-trades). These five subscriptions should ensure that each of my commutes is a learning experience.

So, in the spirit of Grammar Girl...

(pedantic grammar rant)

I got an email newsletter from an online retailer today. In this newsletter, there was a section for reviews, which was basically a bunch of quotes about their products from various websites or emails they had received. One of the quotes in the email stuck in my craw.

"I was very surprised at how well I looked in this top!"

Really? The top improved your vision?! That's amazing! Or do you mean your searching skills? That's even better--maybe if I buy one, I'll be able to find my keys! Here, let me grab my credit card!

This is the kind of grammar mistake that bugs me most--it's a classic over proper-ization. We have been drilled from elementary school onward that you don't do something good, you do it well. Sally is a good skiier/Sally skis well. Rob is a good typist/Rob types like a fucking maniac(i.e., well). Good is the adjective, well is the adverb. Simple enough. However, because of all these years of drilling, people think it's never okay to use good after a verb, even when it is grammatically correct.

So, why is well the wrong word for that quote? So glad you asked! It all comes down to clarity.

"I was very surprised at how well I looked in this top!"

I was never an English major, so I don't know enough technical grammar words to be able to get all "tense" this and "mood" that. Most of my grammar knowledge comes from reading a lot (a LOT), and a love of words. The best way I can think to describe this sentence is that it's sort of a backhanded construction. Instead of acting upon the object like a normal verb, the verb actually acts upon the subject (I think this might be passive or reflexive tense, but that doesn't really change the good/well issue, and I'm both too lazy and too far away from my grammar books to look it up)(Yes, I own grammar books.)(Many). Therefore, the well describes herself, not the quality of her looking. This makes the modifier an adjective, and therefore a good. Using well in this sentence probably made it seem more proper, but actually changed the meaning of the sentence. Reading it literally, the well modifies the looked. Putting the last part of the sentence into a more active example like the skiing and typing ones above, it would be "I looked well in this top/I was a good looker in this top." So, instead of looking hot on her, the top improved her vision and/or searching skills.

The possible exception to this would be if she were saying that the top made her look less sickly, in which case well would be totally fine. I'm not sure that would have made such a good review, though.

My peeve with this particular grammar mistake isn't that the writer makes it. I'll be the first to admit that I commit egregious crimes against good writing on a daily basis, mostly on this site. This mistake bugs me not because it's wrong, but because of the likely reason for doing it. People don't use well instead of good because it sounds better to them. They use it because it sounds more proper. They use it because decades of schooling and memorization say that well is the word you use after the verb if you want to sound smart. Because they're afraid that someone is going to jump all up in their shit because they used the common, trashy good instead of the more intellectual well. Whether the reasons are insecure or snobbish, it's hardly ever used because the author likes it better.

(/pedantic grammar rant)

UPDATE: In looking for sources to back me up, the rules I can find list sensory verbs (taste, smell, sound, feel, and yes--look) as the exception to the good/well rule. This one (scroll down to the blue "Good versus Well" section) also mentions linking verbs, but most stick strictly to the senses. So there you have it--my longer explanation, as usual, is just a bunch of needless words. :)

The most peevish "over-properized" word/phrase for me is "you and I" when those persons are not the subject of the sentence. For some reason people REFUSE to say "me" in conjunction with another, even if it's correct.

God, yes. That one drives me nuts, too.

I used to could quote the exact words for tenses and why the rules were what they were, but I don't remember then anymore. I do know when to use well/good and I/me..

That first sentence is just for you, baby..