Wow. This is hard.

You know, maybe it's because I've been on a long vacation, maybe it's that I'm discouraged at gaining 12-15 lbs in the last 2 months of 2005, maybe it's just that I've started over so many times, but this whole weight loss thing seems really HARD this time around. Did I really used to bike 100 miles a week before? Did I really drink upwards of 70 oz of water every day? Did I really cook? Like, actual food on an actual stove? Amazing. It's all I can do now to walk 2 miles (or bike 10) and call for takeout. More than 3 bottles of water? I spend half my life in the bathroom.

Of course, I know it will get easier with time, and also that it won't take as long to get back into good habits as it did to get into them in the first place. I also know that there are other things going on that could be contributing to my overall layabout-ness. I've been very hormone-eriffic this week, and it doesn't seem to be letting up. TOM was supposed to be last week, so it could really go at any time. I'm not exactly known for my regularity, and my last few weeks have been so stressful and disordered that I can't really expect that system to behave normally under the circumstances.

Of course, whenever I'm later than I expect, there's always that voice in my head that speaks up and says "Woohoo! You're pregnant!" After a couple years of hoping and being disappointed, I try to ignore that voice for as long as I can. To do otherwise just leads to heartache. (I do have to say, though, if I were pregnant, it would totally set a personal speed record for New Year's resolution achievement.)

Anyway, getting back to the plan. I'm not going back to WW meetings until my water intake is back where it should be. I've still got WW Online, and I've been pretty good about entering my food and exercise into it. Today, anyway.

As for weight loss, I've gained 4 lbs since Sunday. But like I say...this week has scored high on the weird-routinometer, so I'm not entirely surprised. If I can get my water and exercise up and my junk food down, I should be able to drop back down to 185 by the end of the week.

Going forward, my plan for January is:

1. Get my daily water intake up to 2L/day. This should be easier now that I'm back at work.

2. Lean Cuisine or deli salad for lunch on weekdays. The added benefit of doing this v. going out is that I can work out during my lunch hour this way. Which brings me to...

3. Work out every day. I've tried setting a goal of 3-5 days/week in the past, but it just doesn't work for me. In order for exercise to become a habit for me, it needs to be daily. Now, I don't mean "bust my ass every day"...some days are going to be 20 minutes, some days are going to be 3 hours. Hopefully, I will average somewhere in the 30-60 minute range. The point of this plan is to do something each day. Otherwise, before I know it I'll be doing nothing most days.

Tentatively, I'm planning on the early morning cycling class on Tuesdays & Thursdays, because it's only 30 minutes long on those days, which gives me plenty of time to shower and get back to the house before I go to work. On M-W-F, I'm going to walk the track at work (or run some of it, if I'm feeling ambitious) during my lunch hour. And on weekends, it's the bike. I may introduce weights to this at some point, but right now I'm going to focus on the cardio.

4. Write shit down. I've always had more success when I was keeping a food and/or exercise journal, even if I wasn't posting it here. I won't be posting it here this time, at least for the immediate future.

And that's about it. I'd like to be back down to 180 by the end of January, but I'd be happy with anything under 185.

It seems like so many of us are in the same boat. It's just a matter of getting a few solid days in...then it all seems to fall into place. Hang in there:)