stuff

hey, I'm still here! Been busy the last few days.

Still on for the metric century on Saturday...I'm going to be picking up my race packet tomorrow after work. I'm pretty sure I'm ready, or as ready as I'll ever be. The weather's still supposed to be perfect (hi 81/lo 53, sunny), so that much is good. I still haven't practiced shifting the front ring...it's not that I don't think I'll be able to do it when I need to, I just don't want my first time ever downshifting to the granny gear to be on a climb where I'm already struggling. I need a dress rehearsal, of sorts.

It's a security thing. When I'm going to do something new by myself, I like to know every variable beforehand--where to park, where to stand, every step of the procedure once I'm there, worst case scenarios, alternate escape routes, etc. If I'm not sure of myself going in, freakout potential is high. It'd be a shame to have a meltdown by the side of the road because I shifted wrong and my chain fell off. It'd be like my first time at a full-service car wash, all over again. (Don't ask.)

Speaking of new things, the running is going solidly okay. It's been hotter this week than the weatherman promised me, and the mosquitoes on the outdoor track have been both big enough and plentiful enough that they could practically carry me away, but I've stuck with it for three workouts now. I'm not having any trouble with my foot or my knees, but my right ankle feels oddly weak. Not painful, just weak. I think I might be sleeping with it at a bad angle, and I don't really notice it until I run. Other than that, though, I'm not having any problems yet. Of course, I'm only doing 60-second run intervals.

I have only the vaguest idea of what my HR is during all this running and biking and whatever, because I've stopped wearing the monitor. I use the watch for timing, but the chest strap is AWOL and I haven't felt particularly motivated to find it. I think I'm kind of burnt out on the whole biofeedback thing. After months of tracking and documenting and obsessing over my every heartbeat, I'm kind of over it for a while. I may still be pushing 170 on every run, but I don't want to know about it. (For what it's worth, I don't think I am. 165, tops.)

Regarding food...I've been eating a lot of it, and I haven't been very discriminating in my choices. This leaves me feeling sort of icky, and I've put on a pound or two, so the steady junk food buffet is going to stop soon, but I haven't yet decided which plan to adopt. I've contemplated a South Beach-ish approach, a whole foods thing, a no-sugar thing, a just-journal-everything thing...I'm even considering going back to Weight Watchers for a little while. The bottom line is, I need something more structured than what I'm doing. Since what I'm doing is eating whatever sounds good whenever I'm hungry or bored or need something to keep my hands busy, I have nowhere to go but up in the structure department.

All this is part of a bigger plan to finally get my shit together. I read this book over Hurricane weekend about getting organized, and I've been trying to follow their suggestions. I have this card file that has cards for all the stuff that needs to get done, and I have different cards for every day. For the first week or so, it was working great. And then I started to get behind, and feel bad about getting behind, and I still haven't done anything about the closets. The whole thing's stressing me out, and the only things I even still have going right now is that there are no dishes in the sink and I only go to the grocery store once a week. Oh, and I have a meal plan for the week. But all that other crap--making the bed, sorting laundry every day, sweeping the floor daily, decluttering...well, everything, letting each day have its own purpose, etc.--it's pretty much fallen by the wayside.

It's really the starting that's the problem. If all my closets and cupboards and 3 junkrooms were ALREADY clean, I wouldn't have any trouble keeping up with the weekly schedule. But finding time to excavate a closet AND plan menus AND balance the checkbook AND go to the dry cleaner AND cook dinner AND deal with the dishes and the cats and the laundry, all before 7 am and/or after 6 pm on a weekday? Um, no. And that's just Monday.

I'm beginning to get the impression that this book was really written for stay-at-home moms...at least the initial getting-out-from-under part of the plan, anyway. For instance, who the hell has time to work full time, then spend 4-6 hours on a "full-clean" day one day, AND have a "family work day" on a completely different day? Every week? The only days I have 4-6 hours to do anything outside of work are Saturday and Sunday, and sanity dictates that I don't spend 8-12 hours cleaning EVERY WEEKEND. Not gonna happen. Any cleaning/decluttering that can't be done in 5-30 minute spurts does not get done in my house, which is another of the major reasons we have three jars of thyme but no salt and I can never find my keys.

I haven't given up on the overall organization project, but I'm not nearly as gung-ho about it as I was a week ago. Maybe in a Saturday or two, I'll stop seeing it as so all-or-nothing and be able to reorganize something to my satisfaction. Things will start rolling again. After all, people manage to not live in chaos and squalor all the time. Most people, I imagine. I'll eventually figure out how to do it without making my entire life about picking up socks and vacuuming cat hair.

So anyway. Speaking of projects, I have one that I need to get started in, like, 15 minutes ago. More tomorrow!