one of those "other events" I was referring to

So, I found out yesterday that one my my friends at church is pregnant. They already have two kids and they weren't really trying for a third.

You probably already know what I'm going to say here, but I had a hard time mustering up the "Oh, wow, congratulations!", when what I was really thinking was "why not me?"

I mean, we're hardly the picture of an infertile couple, trying for years and years to get pregnant and battling despair with every passing cycle. We're not there yet, and I hope we'll never get there. And we do already have Noah, so it's not like we're even childless. In all honesty, now's not even the best time for us to have a baby, even if nature would cooperate. All the same, I want one, and Rob wants it even more than I do, and having to go back on the pill is keeping us from it.

I hate that I feel this way about her pregnancy, because on some level I am genuinely happy for her...I don't know. I guess it's the same feeling I get watching someone drop 80 lbs. in a year while I'm fighting to get past my 40 in almost twice that time. Sooo happy for them...but. I hate that but.

Hey, you should try Jenn over at theworkingmom.net she's been facing this whole issue- even set up a TTC blog. She's got great insight on it- check her out (you have to register first though)

BTDT- it's hard, so many conflicting emotions.

But always, always, just swallow it- say how happy you are for them. If they know you at all, they will know how hard that is to do. And were afraid to say anything about it to you.

BTDT indeed.

I- for one- send many fertility wishes out to the both of you-

Much as I bitch about the actual day- to- day experience, it's all that I ever wanted-

I hope that soon you'll be pregnant. Things will work out -- and in the meantime, if you are able to lose some more weight, the evil weight gain of pregnancy won't be so paiful.

yeah, I know they will. And that is the bright side...it'll be a whole lot easier to lose baby weight if I've already lost the sitting-on-my-ass-too-much weight. All I can do is keep going, doing what I'm supposed to do, and things will happen in their own time. I just wish it'd happen a little faster. :)

How are you feeling, by the way? Since curmudgeonry's address changed, I don't get over there as much as I used to. You must be about ready to have that baby any minute. :)

I wish the baby were ready to come any minute, but I still have another month or so to go. I'm actually less swollen with this pregnancy than either of my other two, though, I so guess things are about as good as they get at this point.

And as soon as I'm done wishing this baby would be here a little faster, I'll be wishing the baby weight off. Bah.