ahem

definitely not dead, thanks for asking.

There are several reasons for my absence, the biggest one being that up until Monday morning, I was looking at a whopping 6 lb. gain this week. I mean, I can tell myself that it's not real all I want, but that doesn't keep my heart from sinking when I see that 188 staring back at me. I'm just saying.

I'm also in a training class this week offsite, which only gives me internet access on breaks. To my own surprise, I've found that I don't even want to touch the computer on breaks. I brought, like, 10 books and two magazines with me in my bag, so there's enough to do. It also doesn't hurt that the training building is adjacent to the Galleria, and that's some serious shopping territory there. (Though today I felt unfit for the Galleria crowd...most the regular shoppers are seriously out of my league. I'm on more of an Old Navy kind of budget right now). So yeah, haven't been getting on the computer much.

In fact, I've been wondering lately whether I want to keep doing this at all. The web thing, I mean, not the fitness thing. For a couple years now, I've immersed myself in the blogosphere, and the fascination is sort of wearing off for me. In a lot of ways, it's a good thing. I'm more interested in other, more important things--Noah, Rob, reading good books, my career, church, what I want out of life.

This blog and the others aren't really getting me anywhere. Not that I started them expecting to go anywhere, but I did start them because it was fun to write every day. Now it's not really fun anymore, because I don't know how to get back to that place where I was good at it. Let's face it--I haven't been writing anything remarkable for a long time now. Months. Maybe a year or more. I have to face the facts--all my blogs except this one have outlived their usefulness, and it's time to file the database backups and delete them from movable type. But not this one.

Why not this one? Because one of the biggest reasons I've done as well as I have on my weight-loss program (the last few weeks notwithstanding) is that this site gave me someone to be accountable to. Paper journalling wouldn't have given me that, and won't if I choose to shut down this site. Sure, I don't really know anyone that reads here, but some of the comments (nice and not so nice) keep me motivated in a way that I can't do by myself. So this one's going to be around for at least a little while longer. It might just be weigh-in updates, but it will be here.

Not sure why I even posted that, but there it is.

I hope you don't shut down this blog... I fully agree with you on the accountability aspect of it. Even when it's not fun to write anymore or you don't feel like you have anything "good" to write about, it's still helpful to keep on coming back. I first started my own blog 2 years ago (next month) and I had some success at first, then started gaining weight during the summer. I got so tired of posting gains and bad weeks that I eventually completely gave up on my own blog and didn't read anyone elses either. I gained all my weight back within a few months, before I came back to blogging. I haven't let myself stray like that again because I know that it's so easy to fall over the edge of I stop writing and reading other blogs.

So I hope you'll stay. It's ok that you've gained some weight... I mean give yourself a break, you just got married. I'm sure you have lots of other things on your mind besides counting points and all that right now. But I have faith that you'll be back to where you were soon enough. Good luck!

Hey. Ive never posted a comment on your site before, but I've been reading it since January. I'm 20 years old, and have just gotten through one of the toughest times of my life. I had dropped out of school, gained about 30 pounds, in bad relationships with my parents and friends, a nonexistant love life. I came across your site one day - just looking for accountability I guess. And I started reading - from your first entry till the current one. I couldnt stop until I had read all of it. Now, Im not some wierd freak stalker or anything - its just that your words, and this site helped me to understand that to get results you have to take the action. Weight loss was just one of my problems, but as soon as I started getting a hold of that - everything else became much easier to fix. Because I knew that it wasnt hopeless. I used to always have these huge goals, but get sidetracked so easily, because they seemed unreachable. After reading your blogs and realizing that everyone goes through good and bad days, that results arent always immediate - I have come to the place I am now. I am living back at home with my parents, going to college, exercising, trying to lead a healthy lifestyle basically. I think it helped that I read your 2 years of blogging in just 2 or 3 sittings - I saw that even though each day the progress wasnt monumental - over the course of your journey - you've made some phenomenal improvements in your life. And I dont know why it took your blogs to make me realize that - people say things like that all time - counselors, quote books, etc. But it never really sank it till I read it here. I mean - you're a real person, and not writing this for some magazine article or book. This is your life. And you were being honest about it. Thank you for that. It has changed my life.

Hope to see you keep this one around! I enjoy reading your "nothing remarkables" :)

My personal blog has fallen to the wayside too...not sure what to do with it, uggh.

I would miss you if you left! And yes, I agree with the accountability thing. It's like doing WW and actually weighing in with people there compared to me looking at my scale and trying to rationalize my gains!! So please, keep on with the blog!

I've never left a comment on a blog before but I just wanted to let you know that I look forward to yours every day. Little do you know that you are inspirational and we are approximately the same weight... it helps that someone out there is stuck on a stinking plateau and keeps on slogging through. Also, your comments usually amuse me.. make me laugh out loud. I'm sure there are lots of us out there that love your site and think what you are doing is in fact remarkable.