so far, so good

The scale had me at 189 today, fully clothed. Since it was cold today, that's good. It's kind of nice to see that even with my heaviest clothes on, I can't break 190 on the scale anymore. :)

Getting out of the 180s has proven harder, though. I was looking at the numbers for November, and it's probably going to be an unimpressive monthly report. Unless something drastic happens between now and December 3, I'm looking at a 3-4 lb loss for the month, at most. That's not even entirely accurate, because I gained 2 lbs on that first November weigh-in. Which means that I lost those 2 lbs again, and 1-2 more. Not nearly as much as I had hoped for.

I was looking at my "daydream" spreadsheet today (the one that maps progress at different rates of loss), and at my current weight, I would need to lose 50 lbs in 6 weeks to make it to my original goal for this blog. Of course, I threw out that silly goal months ago, but it's still a sobering thought. Right now, I'm hoping for 175 or less by my 30th birthday/1st blog anniversary. That's 42 lbs gone in a year, and enough to satisfy me. Sure, I was hoping for more, but if I had ever just given up, it would be a lot less. And I feel good at 185...I imagine I'll feel even better at 175.

More important than the weight, though, is the change in my mindset. I tend to obsess over the scale, but I've come to realize that's not really the best judge of my progress here. In the past year, I have rewired my habits. I feel guilty that I haven't worked out for a week and a half, when before I'd feel good if I made it to the gym once in a month. I find myself looking for healthier options when making favorite foods. I've learned to cook eggs several different ways, and discovered the difference in my energy that an egg breakfast makes over a donut and coffee. I've learned to be satisified with wings once every couple months instead of twice a week. I've rediscovered lean meat, cooking spray, and the joys of passing on the gravy. I eat more green stuff, and less white stuff. I (usually) choose the pria bar over the snickers bar. I haven't had a donut in 6 months, and don't miss them in the slightest.

Little things, sure, but they add up to big changes. These are the things that make me think that I'll be able to maintain once I reach my goal. And that's much more important to me than reaching some arbitrary number by some milestone date.

That said, I'd really like to see my arbitrary 175 by my 30th birthday (January 8th). In order to do that, I need to lose 1.7-ish lbs. per week. Which means that my ass needs to get back into the groove.

Which is why I'm off to walk the track...right now, before I lose my motivation again.