moodiness

I was reading Hope's entry today about how up-and-down her moods have been lately. I can really relate.

I've always known that I'm pretty up-and-down anyway, but posting to this journal every day has really brought it into sharp relief. I am one moody mama.

Reminds me of a book I read about a year ago (The Forest For the Trees, Betsy Lerner). I was fascinated by a chapter about different types of writers. I identified most with the group that I think she called the "ambivalent writers", though it's been long enough ago that I don't remember (I have the book at my house, I should really just go look it up before posting this). Basically, this type of writer goes through cycles, alternating between "I am great" and "I am shit". No middle ground there at all. One week, the writer will think that everything he writes is golden, only to read it back the next week and call himself a talentless hack. I go through that cycle...I eventually hate everything I've ever written (which is why I've never seriously thought about trying to do it professionally).

I've found the same is true for this whole weight loss journey of mine. I'll be rocking along for a while, taking setbacks in stride, staying optimistic...then wham! Everything sucks. I'm never going to stay on plan, never going to reach goal, so why don't I just go ahead and have a piece of cheesecake the size of my head? There's more middle ground with this than there is with writing, but the extremes are still there.

Man, I must be fun to live with. Sorry, Rob...hope you realize what you're getting into.