on being an athlete

I have a confession to make: I don't want to be an athlete.

It's something I've been thinking about for a while. I read a lot of fitness journals, and it seems like a lot of people, as they get smaller, start to set goals like "I want to run 10 miles a day" or "I want to be in a triathlon" or "I want to bench 220 lbs." or "I want to play tennis" or whatever. Those are all great ambitions, and I hope that everyone with an athletic goal achieves it. I've even thought about setting some of my own.

The more I thought about athletic goals, though, the less right they seemed for me. Even when I was thin, I wasn't an athlete. I've never wanted to be, either, except for the acceptance aspect (being one of the "cool" kids in HS). I'm woefully uncoordinated, don't really like to sweat, and don't have the discipline required to keep practicing a physical skill over and over again to perfection. Nothing about being an athlete is attractive to me, other than an athletic physique.

That said, I do have a couple short term athletic goals. I want to participate in a half-marathon--once. I want to do a couple long bike rides a year, because I've always liked that sort of thing. I want to learn to dance for my wedding. But that's really about it. I'm content being a walker, not a runner. I'm not going to seek out athletic activities after I get to goal. I'm not going to join any teams, learn any new sports, pick up a tae bo class. I'm changing my body, not my personality.

Nope, I don't want to be an athlete. Not a runner, not a cyclist, not a triathlete, nor any kind of team sport. I don't want to win the Presidential Physical Fitness award 12 years too late. I just want to look like I can, and know that I could if I wanted to.