life, love, and loss...in 38 weeks

this is going to be one of those frenetic posting days, I think. Mostly, I'm just avoiding work.

I think I've finally gotten myself out of vacation mode and back into work mode. It took a little longer than I would have liked, and my progress has showed it. I've been tempted to get all down about it, and sometimes it makes me mad that I haven't made any progress in 3 weeks. Then I think about it again, and realize that I've lost 25 lbs, nearly 15 inches, and 2 sizes. I'm about a thousand times happier with my body now than I was on my 29th birthday. My progress has stalled recently, but even if I stay at this weight for the rest of my life, I'm still better off than I was six months ago.

Not that I don't want to move on...I want to see goal just as badly as I did when I started. That said, I have revised the goal, because I adjusted all the other numbers for clothing and didn't change that one. Goal used to be 130 lbs, now it's 135. Since I can't really conceive what my body will look like at either of those goals, other than by looking at pictures from over 10 years ago, they're both just as good. What's five pounds among friends, eh?

I no longer care whether I see goal by my 30th birthday, either. I'd love to see it by my wedding date...which, by the way, is FINALLY SET. No turning back now, not that I'd want to. It's taken us over 7 years and a whole lot of joy and pain to get here--we're going to see it through.

There's 38 weeks between now and April 3rd. I'm not sure if I should be saying "only 38 weeks", or "a long 38 weeks". Depending on my mood, it seems to be both. With regard to this weight loss journey of mine, it's only 38 weeks. I have 60 pounds left to go, and my current weight loss trend is under a pound a week. In order to be at goal by April, I need to be losing at least 1.6 lbs/week (actually, 1.57). This means that I either need to revise my goal or my methods. I choose the methods.

So, hopefully, there'll be some sweeping changes around here. My new workout schedule is a major part of that, along with the abolition of an experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong--free weekends. I thought I could handle it, but I've failed miserably at keeping any concept of moderation going. I'm not good enough at keeping my weekdays under control to be able to balance. Free weekends will probably come back when I'm closer to goal, but right now consistency is going to be the best thing, I think.

I'm also getting stricter with the journalling. Lately, I've been skipping little snacks when I'm close to the top of my points range, telling myself that I'll record them with the next day's food. I never do, and I feel guilty, and it's this whole big thing. So now I journal everything I eat, no matter how little and insignificant it seems at the time, or how far away I am from the computer.

Water is going to have to become a priority. I haven't been drinking enough, know that I haven't. With my activity level going up so drastically these next few months, I know I have to up the intake. I need to find a way to make this easy. Mindless, even. I bought a camelbak water thing for all the walking, but that's not the only time I'm going to need to drink more. I so wish my office building had water coolers. We have free soft drinks, but that really doesn't help me in this respect.

Anyway, my goal has become 60 lbs. in 38 weeks. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Heh, I'll trade you the soft drinks for the weird mildew growing water cooler we've got!

You are so close to your goal, you can do it!