Staying on plan has been a struggle lately. I don't know what it is exactly...it's not like I'm any less dedicated than I was a month ago. I think the biggest thing is that I've gotten into into this "I'm ok, you're ok" mode, where as long as I try, I don't feel guilty. Then it descends into thinking about trying, and then I lose the motivation entirely.
To some degree, throwing up my hands and saying "Close enough!" is good. It keeps me from getting too hung up on numbers and percentages and getting down on myself for only burning 300 calories per workout instead of 500. It keeps me from getting depressed. However, lately I have found myself lowering the bar for "close enough". 32 points? Close enough. Walking up the stairs twice? Close enough. Thinking about working out? Close enough. Sigh. If I'm not careful, walking to the fridge for a glass of water will become my entire exercise regimen.
I've been trying to analyze where this lack of motivation is coming from. A lot of it probably has to do with the kinds of foods I've been eating lately. I've never been one to cut out any foods entirely, but lately I've been taking on more sugar and starch than I need to be. That could be making me tired.
Other factors contribute, too, I'm sure. The 7 hour nights' sleep I've been getting. The forgetting to drink a lot of water. The lack of regular exercise is also having something of a vicious circle effect--since I don't exercise, I feel lethargic, and since I'm lethargic, I don't want to exercise. Repeat until fat.
Also, not to be gross or anything, but I'm STILL having my period. Going strong since two Saturdays ago. Every time I think it's letting up, whoops! There we go again. If it doesn't stop before the next one starts, the doctor and I are going to have a serious chat. I'm pretty sure this isn't normal, even for someone who went without one for a year and a half. It's probably affecting my overall mood, appetite, and energy level. I just want to sit on the couch with a bag of chips and wait for it to be over.
Well, anyway, I'm determined to get my motivation back somehow. Tonight, I am going to do an upper body workout and eat something sensible, whether I feel like it or not. I am going to have less than 29 points today. I AM, dammit.
Posted by Joy at May 8, 2003 05:12 PM